1. together with working with the 12 steps i had a deterrent of saying the whole tehillim the day i fall.however the problem was that when i fell the fact that i had to say tehillim added to my depression that resulted from the fall and made me more susceptible to fall again.in a way if i had no deterrent i would pick myself up and get on with life much easier.on the other hand having no deterrent is a clear no-no because it makes it to easy to fall....

2.when imasturbate and i start arousing myself if i use the deterrent then, i say to myself i already have to say tehillim so i might as well enjoy it.on the other hand if i activate the deterrent by ejaculation so i say to myself arouse yourself until before ejac.which isnt too good edither plus i fall anyway.
F.m when i made a 2 stage knas over a whole month of this deterrent,as soon as i fell the first stage of arousal and rubbing i always fell the second stage PLEASE SOMEONE......

Here is how the "double-fence" is supposed to work.
One makes a condition that when he has an urge to act out sexually he must first do a,b, or c (say one kap. tehilim, give a little zdoko, call your grandma) and if he acts out anyways, then he gets a knas which is substantial but manageable.
However, (second part of the fence), if one acts out without doing a, b, or c, then the knas he must pay is heavy to the etxent that it serves as a serious deterrent. Of course honesty is required.
In other words, you promise yourself to not act out without doing something first, which puts some distance between you and the act and shows effort on your part. You're then free to act out if you still want to: but then you must pay a knas, so it's not a "I already said tehilim I might as well act out".
But if you lazy out on the first condition then you pay a much heavier knas, like sayong all tehilim or driving to Miron and spending the day there ( I know guys who;re doing something like that).
All this is described in the Taphsik section of the gye website, I just omitted the swearing part.
Good luck, you're showing some hard work.
Mottel

Hi tocontrolmyself,

My experience is that usually takes a few days to a week for a slip to turn into a fall. At the beginning when I start slipping, it's still possible to pull back with a heavy dose of Chizuk to put things in perspective and remind myself of what's at stake.

However, if the first warning bells are ignored, my experience is that you simply don't care anymore cos the lust takes over.

So as always, the key is avoiding 'situations' by keeping busy with fulfilling activities which also helps MASSIVELY with RID and not taking the 1st drink.

Hope that helps.

DL