I recently realised in a weekly SAA support group that I've begun to attend - that I don't love myself, and this is the reason why I abuse myself as I do.

So the double-barrelled question, that's been on my mind is: "How do we break out of the self-abusive behaviour? How do we learn to love ourselves?"

This to me is part of recovery. Any thoughts or suggestions?

Well I'm pretty sure you already know this but abusing yourself, leads to self-loathing and loss of self-esteem and self-respect which leads to further self-abuse in a desperate attempt at self-validation. In other words it's a vicious cycle. The only way out is to draw a line in the sand and stop abusing yourself. Is that doable for you, or do you feel heavily addicted? Is it a question of self-esteem or more of addiction?

You should respect yourself. If we don't even respect ourselves, how can we expect others to respect us? Even if you are so depressed that you can't think of anything good about yourself, the very fact that you want to stop this self-destructive behaviour is pretty amazing in itself! Breaking free from masturbation is not easy.

Trust me, the further you go into recovery, the better you will feel physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. The need to self-medicate when life gets rough and tough will just seem unnecessary.

Take things one step at a time and one day at a time. Hope that helps!

BW,

DL

Feelings follow actions.
Act like you love yourself, and you will love yourself.
Take care of yourself. Eat healthy. Exercise. Get regular sleep. Learn. Daven. Work diligently.
In short, live well, take good care of yourself, treat yourself as you would treat someone you love.
The love will follow.

Having said all that, perhaps it would also be helpful to shower the people around you with love. Focus on giving love, being a giver. You will feel good about yourself.

Love you post Alex!

Just had some more thoughts - the reason we're here on this earth is to grow and come closer to God (that's what I believe anyway). Living with a purpose and doing things that make you stronger bring happiness, self-respect and satisfaction. Engaging in time wasting and self-destructive behaviours takes us further away from our goals, from God, our friends and family and ultimately negates the very purpose of our existence. The only result can be depression and guilt, leading to a further vicious cycle of self-medication.

So like Alex said, live like you love yourself!!! ;D :D 8)

DesertLion wrote on 23 Jun 2012 11:14:

Not just you- that's the secret to life and living. Rav Berkowitz told me personally: "The most important thing for a Yid is a relationship with the Ribono Shel Olam. Now you know the secret! Welcome to the club!"

Hatzlacha!
Meir