Kol Haroeh Sotah B'Kilkula, Yazir Atzmo Min Hayayin

Asked my Rebbe this morning (PM me and I'll tell ya who), if one sees a sotah DIE (B'Kilkula), that would seem to be a reason NOT to worry. The consequences were there staring you in the face, big time (I'm paraphrasing to save myself time). Why would you then go and do something?
So he said, there are many tirutzim, but he's gonna tell us in the modern shprach. The aforementioned sotah was warned, there were eidim for the warning AND by the yichud, and they TOLD her what would happen id she would do it. Yet, she did anyway. Why would a person do that, drive off a cliff, knowing the consequences?
Because she was addicted.
A person who learns that there's such a thing as someone who lacks bechira- he must start to make gedarim to ensure that he stays out of addictions.
My Rebbe then mentioned the story brought by Rabbi Reisman (elsewhere on this forum). He said we see sotahs, we hear about them, we need to take precautions.
Ad Kan. I will add, there is a message for us fellows (whom my Rebbe was not addressing). The key is Yazir (aka Taphsic) BEFORE the point of no control, while we still retain control, that's where the decisions must be made.
And then, we ask Hashem to gift us with today, just today. But while we still have the sheretz biyodo, we can't even ask Hashem for help in good conscience.
Since I joined, I've been concentrating less on Slach Lonu and more on Refoeinu.
Have a great Shabbos, and I hope i didn't step on any toes!

Meir

Beautiful and powerful vort etc.

E-Tek wrote on 01 Jun 2012 18:09:


This reminds me, many years ago I was at the Shabbos Tish of a great Tzadik/Rebbe zt"l. He would take a Chumash and say a very very short insight on the parsha, and people would then discuss what they understand his words to mean. Once on Parshas Kedoshim he repeated Rashi's words:
כל מקום שאתה מוצא גדר ערוה שם אתה מוצא קדושה
and he added (in Yiddish) "Where is the Kedusha? At the Geder!" And he closed the Chumash.
And my understanding, perhaps because of my situation, was that if you want Kedusha you can only find it by focusing on the geder. As you said - before the point of no return.

Kol tuv

MT

And, there's a Klei Yakar who says, on the same posuk (or thereabouts):
The purpose of nezirus is to regain control in an area where we lacked control. The only way to do this is to achieve 30 days "Clean" (in the shprach) (As Stam Nezirus is 30 days). And then, after that, one can drink in moderation. Because, he says, if after the nezirus you jump right back into it, what did you gain?
Moderation includes making gedarim and holding to them. If I can pick up an electronic game (which for years I had zero control over being able to stop), after not using it for, say, six months, and now I find I can hold myself to gedarim, then it follows there was a purpose for the break.
It follows that when something like my acting out, where the addiction went much deeper, I can consider myself really clean when I can hold myself to the Torah's boundaries ONLY.
Hmm...