I thought I was doing well and then summer came along.
My eyes are totally out of control !
Please give any suggestions for what you have done that works.
I know we've discussed this b4 but i think a chazara and any new chiddushim would be helpful for everyone.
Thank you and Tizku L'Mitzvos!

Something I read in a chizuk email several years ago was very helpful.
When I go outside to get to shul or work or wherever, I remind myself that I really shouldn't be putting myself into this situation altogether. I don't belong out here. It's too dangerous. So I only have the right to look at what I absolutely must see to get to my destination. Everything else (except the beauty of nature) is outside of my r'shus.

Some practical tips: (assuming you're straight) Don't look at men either. Be in the habit of not looking at people altogether. Remember, in order to tell it's a man, you have to look. And if you're wrong, you already saw too much.

Turn your head and even your body away so you can't see what's coming.

When driving, if there's a girl on the right, I'll close my right eye and turn my head a little to the left. This way I can still see the road (although I do lose some depth perception).

Just like someone who's fallen and needs to get back up starting now, you have slipped, and need to stop right now -- with the very next nisayon.

Since you're basically sober we can give you a good dose of chassidus [which wouldn't work for me, but maybe for you, Reb Gesh].
There's an idea in Torat HaBesht ^{here and here and here} that all pleasures are really heavenly joys masquerading as worldly pleasures and some of them are forbidden. Next time you feel yourself wanting a forbidden pleasure tell yourself,

The following is from the GYE handbook:

Guarding our eyes outside

As addicts to lust, we must be extra careful about where we go. It is best to refrain from
frequenting malls and other such public places where we know that we will have difficulty
guarding our eyes. If we must be in such places, we can try to spend as little time there as possible, and perhaps even remove our glasses if we have bad eye-sight. Otherwise, we can try wearing sunglasses covered inside with non-see through lamination, or color the inside of a special pair of glasses with a black magic marker, leaving only a small hole to peer through (the Steipler Gaon gave someone this idea). For those who need to take public transportation to work, bringing a sefer along or an MP3 player with shiurim to listen to while keeping one’s eyes closed has been known to help. Even weddings, Simchos and family gatherings can be problematic for us, and we can try to prepare ourselves mentally beforehand. We can resolve to remain in the non-mixed areas as much as possible, or try to find a seat facing in a direction opposite from any
possible triggers.
If we will have to be in an area where we know there will be a struggle, we can try to offer a short prayer before leaving the house: "Please Hashem, help me not to take any second looks". And if we find that we do stumble and take a second look, we can quickly offer another short prayer and say, "Hashem, I surrender my lust to you! Please take it away from me".

you guys are great!
alex - my problem is that Im working in a place that has ladies swarming all over
and my job requires me to talk to them face to face.
(halevai i could keep my eyes on the faces)
:'(
TZ - your bekius is amazing!
I have to work on internalizing that.
b'sayder?
;D

MT - thanks for the reminder from the handbook.
i think i need to back to the basics.
the handbook the shmiras einayim book the chizuk emails etc...
i think i let my guard down
תרתי משמע

keep the ideas coming
especially all those viewers out there
jump in to the discussion
everyone's ideas are appreciated!
thanks

MT, did you take up Elyah's advice to become baki in the handbooks?

Hi
Dealing with women at work and on the streets is a huge challenge for me. Here is what I do:
Pray for the triggering person. My sponsor suggested that I say:"Hashem, grant this woman everything she needs, wants, loves, and desires".
I also use Alex's prayer a lot, which keeps my disease in check by regularly (and especially on the spot) reminding me that I am powerless and crazy, and can't manage my life without G-d's help. When I get to the part asking G-d to remove my lust, I add "just for today" because I found that asking Him to remove it permanently smells of tfilas shov to me.
Often, I say "Whatever I'm looking for in her, let me find in You" if I find that just davening for her well-being fails to remove the obsession.
And lately I found another quick formula: "G-d, bless her and help me".
It helps to remind myself that "she is not mine to look at".
And if the image of someone is too powerful to surrender on my own, I can call someone and give this up to them.
Hatzlocho. Good topic.
Mottel.

thank you mottel !
be blessed !

Oddly enough, I found this works! It seems to work more in Eretz Yisrael then America, maybe because there's more Hashgacha Pratis there than in Shmutz L'Aretz.
The Mishna Brura says when saying Krias Shma of Shacharis, to put your tzitzis over your eyes while saying ולא תתורו אחרי לבבכם ואחרי עיניכם. He writes that although there aren't supposed to be any quick fixes for our Yetzer Hora, this is nevertheless a segua for avoiding the occurrence of a nisayon related to this lav. Naturally, this will not work if you do it deliberately.

I can expect to lecture on that posuk, as I promised to lecture myself on this forum whenever I have an urge. Until then!

Keep Climbing.... 8)

Thank you ET
I may just try that!

Sholom, tayre Yidden.

The only eitza I found for me is to take off the glasses. Long time a prayed to haShem to give me back my sight but than I realized that that's lemaase very helpful..

They bring beshem Vilna Gaon I think, that the posuk says: "eifo hakdesha? hi baeynaim" he (the gaon) says: eifo hakdusha? hi baeynaim! geschmaker vort

One more thing they bring is, that the power of your memory depends on your shmiras eynaim. There are if I am right 2 amoroim whom gemora praises as those who knew everthing - r. sheshet and r. yosef. Both very blind.

One more thing (might be even a hidush of mine ;P ): I heard recently, that as you all know from pirke ovois. 5 talmidim haju lo le-riva"z. And they say that r. elazar ben arach who was praised as a mayan hamisgaber was zoche to it by the thing he proposed as "the derech hatov": lev tov. So I want to add, that r. eliezer hagodol was zoiche to be praised as a bor sud sheeyno meabed tipa (=good memory). How comes? what was his "derech hatov" ? ayn toiva! (what can be understood as an eye which is taked care of)

Good! and "bor sud sheeyno meabed tipa" also alludes to shmiras habris (think about it)which is achieved through proper shmiras einayim (ayin tova).

MT

Oh wow..why didnt I ever think about that?..

By the way... You know, Chaza"l say "kol dovor haosur mishum mar'it haayn afilu behadre hadorim osur". I think the Bagdader ruv, the Ben Ish Chai says, that it means, you have to guard your mind (hadre hadorim) from bad machshovos and hirhurey avera

Hatzlocho

Why is that the people with the last experience handling their addiction are the loudest to expound their lofty Torahs on how to cure their addictions.

Forgive me, I'm in a grouchy mood but had to get that off my chest. I guess it takes one to know one. It's like, 7 days of being clean and all of a sudden I can expound a dvort, see the four corners of the universe, cure everyone of their illness.