Totally with Dov on this one, except I don't think TaPhsic is going to help in your situation at all.

Something I don't hear in your posts is why you even want to stop lusting. Has your life become unmanageable because of your lust? Are you really ready to get up out of the cozy pit and move on, out into the sunshine of a clean mind? Or do you just want to do enough so your conscience is appeased that you're at least doing something, and meanwhile you can keep getting your fix?

Alex! You realize you just spelled out the average guy dipping his toes into recovery. We were all there - me for about ten years: Trying to stop and learn to control it - not to actually give it up and quit, chas veSholom, for that feels like suicide...

This recovery thing is for keeps, it's real. Far more real than the Teshuvah merry-go-round that offers those great highs, madreigos and deveikus we all know and love...and the option of taking a little drink whenever we really, really need it. Hey - wasting our sperm was the one foolproof way we knew to guarantee that we'd finally jump back on the Teshuvah Train with earnest....again.

Thanks G-d for sobriety and the drunks of AA. They knew this is one day at a time - but real.

You are geshmak. Though we have different drochim, I see we are standing in the same place.

Good Shabbos!!

Look, you don't need a therapist! You just need to be honest with yourself and then and only then can you really change. Personally I think that just the fact that you have managed to get down to every 2-3 days is amazing. No one but no one is expecting you to suddenly change and stop doing this aveira (I don't like the english name) straight away. I therefore think you should try to limit yourself so first try to limit yourself to once every 4 days then the next weeks or two weeks after or when you feel ready then tell yourself you will only do it once every 5 days and so on and so forth. After a while you will reach a point where you feel like you can stop completely. You could also try to find something else to cheer you up even if it's something like a computer game. STOP LOOKING AT THE NEGATIVES AND START LOOKING AT THE POSITIVES AT HOW FAR YOU'VE COME!
And always remember the key is honesty. Show Hashem you want to stop and you want to fight and Hashem will make it easier for you. He just wants to see that you're interested as we saw in yesterdays sedra. Ki setze lamilchama al oyvecha-when you go out to war against the yetzer har, unesano Hashem elokeicha beyadecha veshavisa shivyo-and Hashem will give him into your hand.
You fight Hashem will do the rest.
And remember BE HONEST

I have talked to my Rabbi about my problems. He has been a lot of help, but he is not an expert in lust addiction. He was the first person to tell me that M was even a sin. The only problem is that when I fall, I feel really dirty and impure, so I just can't bring myself to go see him. When I do, I feel like such a hypocrite. I tried calling him in the past whenever I fell, but he just does not know what to do or what I am going through. Is that what you meant when you said I need a clean person to talk to, or did you mean someone diffirent?

Well, at least he is honest about not having a clue what to do for you, that's great, for it will make him more effective at helping you.

But he will not likely be of that much help anyway unless he has masturbated a bunch of times himself and struggled with it for at least few years. Many rebbeim though they may bot be addicts at all, have struggled to some extent and feel (perhaps rightly so) that admitting their porn use and masturbation challenges to even select bochurim would be a chillul Hashem and cast aspersions on the power of Torah. Nu. Not for me to judge.

But there are plenty good men out there who are frum, have spent years struggling with porn use and chronic masturbation, and are more than happy to share it all with you - if you only find them and ask.

Getting a few clean friends who know of this struggle and whom you can call daily or even a few times a day whenever you are faced with a struggle - that is a precious, priceless tool. You can get that, if you work for it. It's worth it.

Interested?

I signed up for the partnership program today. Hopefully I can get a partner soon.

Happy New Year Everyone!
I feel great! I just got back form spending the holiday at my Rabbi's house. I was now on before because I could not stay clean. But today is my 3rd clean day and with all my sins thrown into a near by lake, I feel juist great!

It'll get easier when you are opening up to real sickos like you and me. And more fun, too. It's gotta be some fun, this business is good. Being clean is good! Good ought to be at least a little fun once in a while.

Iv'e never been at a good 12-meeting without at least some belly-laughs! Nothing to be afraid of - call someone here on the forum - dont wait for a "partner" - just PM some guys and ask them ("please") for their phone numbers, I say.

Z'man simchaseinu was never as saneyach as it is while we are sober and living the real thing together as friends!

some_guy wrote on 19 Sep 2012 01:34:

Don't know why, but your words remind me of the good (?!) old days (before the internet) when, after being nauseated once again, I would throw those sleazy mags into some garbage can (or dumpster), with the hopes of 'never again'. Then after a while (sometimes only minutes or hours later) I would run back to see if I can still retrive those 'precious' pieces of trash.

...and the nimshal is obvious...

MT

Sorry I have not been on. I was having a really bad week and I just cannot force myself to go here on days I fall. Anyway, I am clean so far so I just wanted to wish everyone on GYE a happy and joyful Sukkot!

Do us all and yourself a favor, and come post on days you fall too.
(Talking to myself here too.)
Just post.

some_guy wrote on 30 Sep 2012 20:51:

"I just Cannot force myself"? This is no chidush, some_guy, as you and all of us are insuccessful at 'just forcing ourselves' not to use sweet porn or masturbate ourselves, either. So why should this posting out of our shame thing be any different? It isn't.

But this is a harmless forum - there is no real shame here, anyhow. You are not even the real you - just "some_guy", for crying out loud. So what do you lose at all by posting the unvarnished truth and admitting exactly whatever it is you did after it is already done? Not much, really. Just another rock to hide under that you might be tossing away, that's all you may lose.

Maybe that's a good thing to lose?

Ciao (and gut moed)!

I am going to try and post even when I fall now, but I cannot promise anything.

That's good you can't promise anything, cuz most of us can't, either! Besides, promises are one of the things that always got us in trouble in the first place.

You are a geshmakeh yid!

Promise NOT to, and then you'll have this burning yeitzer hara to keep on posting no matter what.

--Elyah