Hi Guys,

I'm into my 6th year of recovery now and I still fall occasionally due to carelessness and complacency after a long stretch clean. If I was aware of my careless nature creeping up on me I would stop it before things got out of hand (pun not intended). Trouble is it grows on me by degrees like a strangling vine around a tree.

Somehow, I also notice that failure or success with sexual purity influences and impacts every other aspect of my life. If one is careless with guarding one's eyes etc, then one will also be careless with one's work, personal relations etc. It affects us on the deepest levels both consciously and sub-consciously.

For some of you being careful and meticulous may come naturally, but for me it's going against my easy-going, and pleasure-seeking nature. Any tips to help me overcome my bad character trait would be greatly appreciated. I know that once I've kicked this, I will have overcome a major hurdle in my life.

Thanks guys and I hope you're all doing well!

BW,

DL     

Hey DL !
I know what you mean!
I've found that this whole recovery process has enabled me to listen to that little voice inside that tells me, "maybe this isnt a good idea." That voice was ignored or easily written off as being extreme for a long time. I find now that when i stop paying attention to that voice it usually means Im slipping. I try to catch my self before it snowballs into the danger zone!
You're right though, our nature is to take it easy, not get so uptight about every detail. I guess that's where our challenge is, to stop it before it becomes a problem, even if its means being on constant watch and never letting down our guard.
No one said it would be easy!

Hi Gesher,

You've put into words what's been at the back of my mind for some time so thank you very much for that! I know exactly what you mean, 'I'm like come on mate no need to be an uptight extremist, let's not be boring and stressed 24/7, it's really not that bad'. Then I fall a few days later......

So from now on, I am going to be 'boring, on guard and stressed' until being careful is ingrained into my being and is second nature so it's no longer a conscious effort.

Let's compare notes in a few months time Gesher.

Good luck and TC,

DL 

months?
how bout weeks?
complacency sets in a lot sooner than you think! 

Haha Gesher you're right. Still not changing my attitude enough lol! Right let's compare notes in a few weeks then.

BW,

DL

I'm in that exact same boat.
You took the [c] words right out my mouth.

I guess I forgot what a bad problem this was for me and my guard was lowered accordingly.
Obviously a ploy of the enemy, to stop attacking and to become more familiar - then, suddenly, BAM!

Perhaps it's because that little voice is so soft that we barely notice its there.

From now on, when that tinly little voice says "stop", ring the alarm bells, wake up, take action!
He may just be a solitary guard, but his job is only to alert us to danger, then we must take appropriate defensive action.

ToAdd

Nu DL where are we holding?
2 weeks have passed

Hi Gesher,

Slipped yesterday, but stopped before I went the whole way so I don't count that as a fall. Could hear Guard's voice in my head shouting warnings and I knew I was pushing things so I stopped. Taking it positively and using it to drive things forward with more vigour and energy, but also with greater caution.

Oh and btw, some of the other things I've been forcing myself to do include doing the dirty dishes immediately instead of allowing them to pile up lol. Apparently, carelessness and complacency are developed out of habits, and procrastination and laziness are the beginning. So, taking action with small things too.

How about you? How are you doing? 

dirty dishes is a great example
its so true
procrastination is the begining
I always felt that my real issue is connected to procrastination and being lax about other things and automatically it has reprecussions in all areas.
BH things have been good
trying to stay sharp in the AM with davening early enough so that Im not rushed.
the YH does a good job convincing me that there is always a later minyan
just stay in bed a drop longer.
working on not listening to him.

Sounds like you're making good progress Gesher! Glad to hear it.

Just thought I'd share something else with you too (happened a couple of weeks ago). Got a letter in the post for a bill for 800bucks today. This was all because I was careless, didn't look back when I reversed my car a bit and backed into a guy's car. I see it as God's way of making it painful so I'm forced to work on this fault. I count myself bloody lucky that I didn't knock over and kill a child or elderly person.

Anyway, as with this addiction, maybe it's a blessing in disguise.

Have a great weekend.



 

ouch! 800 bucks is a high price to pay.
glad you have a positive outlook

it is painful - but you feel even worse if you don't look at things positively.

OK guys this has been neglected 4 2 long!
i feel myself slipping (not in the bad way) but my guard is down
and i'm not catching myself on the small things
i suggest that we post daily or weekly about things that we see need fixing or that are easy slips that can be stopped immediately.
what do you think?

Hello DL ?!
Anybody home?
Its been several months since we've had an update
what's doing?

Complacency - bad!
Carelessness - very bad!