Tonight at my GA meeting we spoke about this. What is the hope? Is there a light at the end of a tunnel, or are we in a tunnel and the light is on? I said I hope that one day my wife will trust me again. And be somewhat back to normal, but I don't think I can live what most people call a normal way of life anymore. Or was I not living a normal way of life up until now. And maybe now I am living a somewhat normal life, and only from now on it will get better and more normal.

Of course you can live a "normal" life 
That's the emunah we all have to have in the power of teshuva
it is exactly that blackness and despair that there is no hope and who are you fooling that the YH thrives on
In fact sometimes the depression following the mistake is much much worse that the mistake itself.
The idea that Averia gorret Averia is becuase of the depression element
Imagine that today is the first day of the rest of your life
You must believe that Hashem has the power to do anything - nothing is beyond his reach even getting you back to a normal life
Now this is not to say that it is easy or that tomorrow you will feel as well as you will feel after a few months or years of being clean but things can definitely change and even in a short period of time ... 
Believe in hashem's Koach and keep up the good work

I was severely addicted for over 30 years.
BH I'm clean for over 2-1/2 years straight.
I lead a pretty normal life, except I can't look at women and can still be triggered, so I have to keep extra vigilant.  So I end up just looking like I'm very frum 
Could be worse things.
So yes, there is life, a good life, beyond addiction.

Will our lives ever be normal.  I would ask how you define normal. The divorce rate is above 50%, does that make it normal.  "Frum" families even ones without addiction issues live lives that are far from the way that a "frum" Ben Torah should live, is that normal. Do we even want to be normal. Personally, I think I'll pass.
Do I want to have a loving, growing relationship with my wife. I certainly do. Is there hope for that. I think if you talk to an addiction specialist they would confirm that the marriage of actively recovering addicts are probably better and closer than the average marriage on the street.
So is there hope. I think there is a lot of hope.
My wife doesn't know the full details of my addiction. But shoe knows that I work on the area of lust. We've definitely grown closer since I've joined GYE. When see sees that I am working on myself it builds trust. When she sees that situations that used to cause me to be bent out of shape don't do that it builds trust. If you're trying to build trust, let her see you are actively pursuing recovery.  Actions speak louder than words.
Finally, tell your wife how and why you appreciate her. Certainly, if your wife knows about your addiction and puts up with all the baggage that an addiction brings, you have much to be appreciative for.  The feeling that one is appreciated breeds trust.
Continued hatzlacha.

As Rabbi Avigdor Miller says, if youve ever seen a child leading a huge ox ? How is that so ?

Its just an animal that needs to be (in our cases) REtrained to be docile and listen to its master.

Not what happens now, that the animal within us is leading the master. You just need to learn to train the animal. GYE gives you the tools for that training. Let the love for your wife and desire to be reconnected with her properly be the impetus to get you to banish the YH once and for all.

Once you are ready to make that committment, it becomes a lot easier and Hashem helps you.

You will have side effects such as emotional pain and emptiness (you are then most vulnerable) but that means you are in the process of healing...embrace it...!!

Hope that makes sense...HY

yes there is plenty of hope for having a "normal" life and a trusting wife.
we(i include myself) need to make sure we arn't hiding from our wives. and they realy know who we are.
It does take time for them to know who we really are after they find out. they also need to see that we are trying to improve ourselves so they can love us and want to connect with us. remember you don't trust somone you don't know.