I've gotta start over. I fell and now i'm not even on the 90 day chart yet until 3 more days. Im so not in the mood of working on this anymore, but i guess it is good to. I don't think i'm an addict but i don't know. I didnt fall to looking at p*. I guess i need chizuk so if anyone can throw me a lifesaver i'd appreciate that. This is what i mean when i say i fall hard. I tend to lose perspective after a fall. Then i kind of dont care about it anymore. So if someone can throw me a last chance effort to keep me on this site that would be great. I dont know what to say.

Firstly, you did not lose anything you ever worked on, even though you fell now. It's all stored up there for you!
Also, think about how long, your longest clean time was. Now try to beat that by just one day. I'm sure you can!
keep going ! looking forward to seeing you on the chart soon...  ;D

here it comes..............
hold on tight and dont ever let go
do it!

You guys are great! Thanks so much! I'm back in it. I think i'm a YO-YO. I'm gonna try to break that streak by letting go and letting G-d. I am back in it in full force!! It also feels so good to be honest and to have the accountibility to say when i had a fall. Shmeichel i'm back over the surface. Thanks.
            Newlife

You wrote you are glad to be accountable here. I see the value of that, too. And that's why - with all very due respect to you for the hard work you have sincerely put into your avodas Hashem - I have a question:

What kind of accountability is really precious? If I can get by with just saying - and only in a virtual setting like this, yet - "I had a fall'?

What does "I had a fall" really mean? To me, that is the precious part. Perhaps you do not need to write on the forum stuff like, "I put on my sister's skirt again," or "I masturbated to porn again", but there must be some detail you can give, to make it real enough that the accountability is truly the precious and beautiful and powerful thing it can be.

If you are pretty sure you are not an addict, then I truly suggest you ignore what I am writing. Just wait and see if in six months - say, after Pesach iy"H - you are miserable and screwing up pretty badly. Addicts generally get worse. If you can control this problem successfully without surrender and the program of using G-d, then that's great!

But if you suspect that you are a sick man, and need special measures unlike those that normal yidden require, and that you cannot make it at all b'derech hatevah....then I hope you will do much, much more opening up for the sake of saving your life, your sanity, and your future.

That was not yelling. I could hug you and say the same thing, and would be glad to, should we ever meet.

Dov,
    So basically you are saying that I should give more details of my falls?

It depends on what you want. If you see that hiding is the key to doing the stuff you do when you act out your lust, then being totally open about it all would be a way to give it up, wouldn't it? 'Wishing we'd quit' is one thing - quitting is another. If secrecy is the enabler for the behavior, then isn't it obvious that stopping the secrecy is necessary if we want any change, at all?
But this cannot be gone about by letting all info about us out into the public. There is a way, and a way not to. We can talk about it...

One thing what has helped me after a fall is to analyze for myself what led me to the fall. i.e. going over the sequence and see where I let the yetzer hara in. It's all about closing the door. If you find the yetzer hara breathing in your neck it means you have left the door open. 
keep on truckin'

Mordechai