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I should've come here sooner!
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: I should've come here sooner! 1260 Views

I should've come here sooner! 14 Aug 2009 09:35 #12304

  • Will
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Well its about time!

Ive been perusing these forums for a while, and really benefiting from them as well- but I kept pushing off registration...Now that Ive taken the jump, I'm kicking myself for not doing it sooner! Just reading through the posts and logs here have very much inspired me- especially Bardichev's posts, Hoping's posts, Efshar Letaken's posts, Momo's posts, TrYiNg's posts, and of course the Heiligeh Guard's posts. The chizuk and empathy that is exchanged in this community is extraordinary, and I am very excited to become a part of it.

Just a bit about myself without boring you: I grew up in an "Orthodoxically Challenged" environment...Much pritzus, bad middos, and nothing matters except which college you end up in. Needless to say, it wasn't the most wholesome environment to grow up in. Now of course at 18 coming out of high school I knew everything...I even knew what was important in life: Porsche's and women. I went to Israel for a "party year" before college and, after too much experience, I Baruch Hashem realized what life is about. That was the beginning of my non-superficial truly frum life. For years I went at it- three sedarim a day, and a lot of mussar in between...but no matter what I did, I could not entirely uproot my goyish mentality. I knew what I needed to do... but there were a few souvenirs left over from my upbringing (read: downbringing)...I didn't want these souvenirs, but I had them and they followed me wherever I went...memories. Id be ripping through a daf of Gemara, Id get up to go the bathroom, come back and BAM Id remember things that I never should have seen or done in my past. The worst part was, I couldnt get these things out of my head for a while afterwards. This went on for a while, and eventually manifested itself into a shmiras einayim problem. That shmiras einayim problem led to occasional acting out...I fought and I fought, and the Yetzer Hara usually came out on top. Baruch Hashem, I did find an almost unassailable way to prevent me from acting out (Ill tell you guys about it in a different post), but the Shmiras Einayim issue was still rampant in my life. It was only until later when I read the 'Guard Your Eyes Attitude' that I realized I was fighting the Yetzer Hara with the wrong weaponry, and since changing up my game plan the struggle has become much easier....but its still extremely hard.

And so, with marriage inevitable, Ive decided to follow a piece of advice that I saw on this forum a few weeks ago (forgive me, I forgot who said it)...in my own words: "If you're not gonna commit to putting ALL your Kochos into getting over this lust addiction, you ain't got NO business getting married". Too true.
I WILL get over this lust addiction. I WILL keep my neshama safe. I WILL make my Creator happy. And I WILL be the husband that any Jewish lady deserves.

And with that... I'm Will. Pleased to meet you. 
Last Edit: by Cb2015.

Re: I should've come here sooner! 14 Aug 2009 11:07 #12312

  • the.guard
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What a beautiful intro! Welcome to our community. Yetzer Hara bites the dust, another soul joins Hashem's front line soldiers! I suppose you don't need the regular welcoming post that I usually give new-comers about the daily chizuk e-mails, the handbooks and the free phone conference calls... You seem to already be an insider here.

Are you signed up to the daily e-mails? Last Friday (see the last e-mail on this page, #550) we discussed this addiction vs. marriage... Check it out...


Baruch Hashem, I did find an almost unassailable way to prevent me from acting out (Ill tell you guys about it in a different post),


PLEASE DO!!

Again, welcome! We are overjoyed to have you join our ranks.  :D

Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: 14 Aug 2009 11:12 by trying2gme.

Re: I should've come here sooner! 14 Aug 2009 11:14 #12313

  • 7yipol
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Wheres theres a WILL there a way!

Welcome
Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM"
Last Edit: by hardwork.

Re: I should've come here sooner! 14 Aug 2009 12:54 #12323

  • Noorah BAmram
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Shalom Aliechem Holy Warrior,
Welcome to the GYE family.

I call myself Noorah BAmram (after the famous gemorrah @ the end of kiddushin 81a regarding Rav Amram chasida) and have benefited immeasurably these last few months that I've ben on the forum.

You story is very inspiring! the main thing is not to get overwhelmed by the fact that u have some "souvenirs" from years past! Perhaps its thru them that you will find greatness

What I do when one something inappropriate pops into my mind uninvited is say "rachmana nigar bei bsoton" "may the Merciful One battle the YH" this very powerful  segula was given by the YH himself to one of the sages of the gemorrah. It always works! Guaranteed !!

Fiery love to you my newest brother in arms

Noora from the house of Amram
[b]כי שבע יפול צדיק וקם[/b] 
A Tzadik is he who continues to  bounce back after he hits bottom, even a hundred times !!!!!Rav Don Segal Shlita
Last Edit: by kopf.

Re: I should've come here sooner! 14 Aug 2009 12:59 #12324

  • Efshar Letaken
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Welcome Reb Will.

I "Will" keep it short because,

1) Its Friday &

2) You have read my posts & know what I have to say for every new Holy Neshomo that joins out family.

Thanks for letting me know that you like my posts as well as others. It gives me chizuk to keep on posting knowing that others gain from them.

"Better late then never!"


Now is a perfect time for anyone to join GYE, so that we can go into Elul this year happy, knowing that this year we will be doing real teshuva that we know we will stand by.

Unlike every year we keep on promising Hashem that we will better our ways only to fall right back to square one.

No wonder we get pressured when Elul comes around. We don't want to face Elul because we know that we put in all this effort and........Yeah!

This year I go into Elul with a smile on my face totally relaxed and happy that Hashem gives me the opportunity to do Teshuva & I know it will last.

So I say to you Reb Will & everyone else out there that has not joined yet.

Now Is The Time!

This year we will go to Rosh Hashano & Yom Kipur knowing that "Yes We Can!" & Yes We "Will"

For all this keeping it short.

E.L.
Last Edit: 14 Aug 2009 15:54 by Yolo.

Re: I should've come here sooner! 14 Aug 2009 13:55 #12336

  • Will
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Noorah BAmram wrote on 14 Aug 2009 12:54:


What I do when one something inappropriate pops into my mind uninvited is say "rachmana nigar bei bsoton" "may the Merciful One battle the YH" this very powerful  segula was given by the YH himself to one of the sages of the gemorrah. It always works! Guaranteed !!


Wow, thanks Noorah....Im definitely going to try this next time. My father once told me that if an inappropriate thought comes to mind during tefillah, a person should press his big toe against the ground...it really works! I told somebody else this and they said it was a gemara somewhere....anybody know where?
Last Edit: by Prosistency.

Re: I should've come here sooner! 14 Aug 2009 13:59 #12337

  • Will
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Efshar Letaken wrote on 14 Aug 2009 12:59:


"Better late then never!"
Now is a perfect time for anyone to join GYE so that we can go into Elul this year happy knowing that this year we will be doing real tshuva that you know you will stand by unlike every year we keep on promising Hashem that we will better our ways only to fall right back to square one.
No wonder we get pressured when Elul comes around,we don't want to face Elul because we know that we put in all this effort and........Yeah!
This year I go into Elul with a smile on my face totally relaxed an happy that Hashem gives me the opportunity to do Teshuva & I know it will last.
So I say to you Reb Will & everyone else out there that has not joined yet.
Now Is The Time!
This year we will go to Rosh Hashano & Yom Kipur knowing that "Yes We Can!"
For all this keeping it short.
E.L.


Efshar, as usual- you're on the ball.

And thank you 7up and Guard for the great welcome!


Last Edit: by mordcheabc .

Re: I should've come here sooner! 14 Aug 2009 16:07 #12364

  • Hoping
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Welcome Will-

You seem to have a great attitude! I look forward to reading more from you. Please continue to post your struggles and successes while you take this holy journey.

Your new friend,
hoping
Last Edit: by hman.

Re: I should've come here sooner! 17 Aug 2009 07:23 #12649

  • Momo
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Welcome Will! I'm honored you found my posts inspiring.

It's great to have you join the GYE family. Your story resonates inside many of us.

We're looking forward to growing with you together.

Keep strong.

I think everybody here will agree that our lives are divided into two: Our life before GYE, and our life after GYE. 
Last Edit: by itstime.
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