i posted this in the torah approach section too so maybe i should only put it one place but here seems more active.
my wife was today nida for the first time since our child was born, and because we had been so long not separated i crashed tonight in the guest room.  r'l i was pgam habris for the first time in a long while, just three days after y'k.  i feel miserable and sick to my stomach, i'm trying not to be depressed because i know that the yetzer wants me to be depressed.  i just can't believe that just like that i've spoiled another year's shot at purity.  how can i fix?  i have often said tikkun haklali in the past but i feel like i need something else in addition, i dont know

I feel for you. Ive been there and done that.
Recently I have found that extra learning has given me more ammo against the YH
i must admit that this hasnt worked b4 i was on GYE
so you probably should go thru the process of following the handbooks etc...
you also might consider posting about your issues, and the 90 day chart
these are thing that helped me, i guess try what works for you
but find something constructive that you can do when you feel the urge
I used the forum as a substitute in the early stages
then i had to deal with that addiction
but I'll take that one any day over the old one
whatever you do dont focus on what happened
just move on

theres a great shiur by Rabbi Reisman mentioned in the handbook
its great chizuk for situations like this
hatzlacha Rabbah

I dont have any practical advice, but I feel you.  while I dont have a wife yet (G-d willing in the right time) I too fell after YK.  and I'm almost glad.  It gave me a low that I think is enough to get me to go back up.  G-d willing.
get back up! you can, I can, we can!

yishaidovid wrote on 11 Oct 2011 07:16:


Depends where you're holding with your general shmiras eynayim and hirhurim (lustful thoughts), no?  Generally these are the doors the Y"H takes to bring us to aveira.

It's easy to let yourself lust when your wife is available to save you at the end of the day.  But that lusting can't be switched on and off at will.