I grabbed a bite with an old friend, not on the same spiritual path as me.  This Jew was certainly lost to the dark side.  He described to me some of his "encounters" with women, and I thought to myself - wow, what a perverted, sick, twisted individual!  H" help him!  Not married, over-eating, over indulging in his lusts and spending way too much time on the internet.  I asked if he thought this behaviour was normal or acceptable, he had no thought about it and didn't really understand why his lifestyle was problematic.

Then I thought to myself, hey sicko!  Look in the mirror!  Some people would look at me and say I'm sicker than him!  Some of the things I've done with women, others would sacrifice their lives for!  Talk about Mechaye haMeitim, I am literally proof that H" resurrects the dead.

Yet despite my deepest failings, I yearn with all my heart and fervour to cleave to Gcd and to place His Presence before me always.  Even though I have fallen 7 times times 7 times 7, my desire to perfect my failings, to cleave to Gcd, remains my guiding light.  And according to the Slonimer, ztl, as long as I try my best, that's my sole and soul responsibility.  Whether I succeed or not is not my business.

I'm almost 2 months clean and it feels great.  Top of the world Ma!  But I know it's 24 hours at a time...  and I gotta remember to stay humble.

WHEN IS THE NEXT TELEPHONE CALL-IN GROUP!!  ;-)

SHANAH TOVA TO ALL THOSE YEARNING FOR H".  KEEP UP THE GOOD FIGHT AND THE MAIN THING IS TRY WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT DESPITE HOW MUCH YOU FALL.

Edge,
2 months!  That's huge!  I know you're up against some big taivas -- yasher koiach.  May these Yomim Noraim and Succos launch you into lifelong sobriety (don't mean to scare you -- one day at a time friend, one day at a time).

Re your friend, it just reminds us, ashreinu, ma tov chelkeinu (how fortunate we are, how good is our lot)!

ontheedge, great to hear you doing well and keeping it humble and on guard

Someone wrote in the 1930's about the divide of the 'camps' into chareidim and secular jews. the chareidim, when mentioning the idea of teshuva, tend to think that it's something the secular need to do. the secular think: teshuva? that's a chareidi thing...