I have ups and downs... I happened to be at a down and I need g-d's help.
I sort of reached the end of the rope and I know that my efforts alone simply wont cure my emotional difficulties!!!

I think to myself that what hashem must expect from us is to hang in there and just TRY to hang on till tomorrow or till Shabbos etc. and just pray and hope that Hashem throws out a floating tube and pulls us up!!!!!

Our fathers and Rabbis tell us about how g-d's presence and involvement in people's lives used to be more clear. People would do Teshuva and see results, Pray and see salvation, Want to get closer and get there. But today in my life I can pray -with extreme difficulty- and then still not feel anything. I can want to learn and keep on trying but still feel an aversion to it. I can keep pushing and pushing and get no where...
I can want and ask and hope and pray to be able to connect to g-d and feel alive in Mitzvot and Judiasim, but still be far...

We then feel dejected, hopeless, despondent...
We then hate the system that set us up for failure.
We wonder if there is still any point in trying??

We become at risk of falling even further...

One thing is very certain: There is an extreme Hester Ponim. This must be the challenge some of us are meant to face here at this juncture in History.

Perhaps this makes every small step we take and every time we TRY to just hang in there all the more precious and pure and holy.

Doubt and confusion is a normal reaction to our circumstances all we can be expected to do is try to hang in there and just go with emunah p'shuta that we follow the lead of our ancestors....

A way to increase the feeling you get from davening, learning, Shabbos, etc. is to PREPARE MENTALLY.  Too often we go into a routine mitzva without giving it a thought.  If we can only stop for a moment, and think "I am about to stand before my creator, the awesome creator of this awesome world, and praise him and beg him for my needs and the needs of my family,"  "I am about to learn the precious Torah that Hashem gave to us on Har Sinai through Moshe Rabbeinu, the Torah that so many of my ancestors died rather than stop learning."  "I am going in to Shabbos, me'ein olam haboh."

These are just examples. Think of your own.  Then there are specified kavonos for certain mitzvos, like krias shma, t'fillin, succah, shofar.

It's also helpful to say the tfila before learning (printed in the front of many gemorras and can also be found in the siddur).  And the tfila upon leaving the Bais Medrish at the end of your day, even if you spent it working.

Have a great day and keep striving!
Alex

Tried-123 come back to stay... voice your feelings and share your thoughts.. Dont pop in and leave.. You know we dont care at what stage your in as long as you stick with the boys....

Emuna- is not a easy one to practice.. But hey its the baby steps that will help us to the next level.. Did you try "garden of Emuna"?