I've been reading R. Arush's new book, Garden of Gratitude (translated by R. L. Brody), and he describes a few stories where people were cured of illness by expressing gratitude to H" for their very illness.  I thought that was a very unique approach to curing the disease/dis-ease/dizzies of LA/SA.

So last night, I had a dream our country was taken over by Chinese communists.  They put me in a sweat shop and I couldn't leave to take a break.  It was brutal!!  I thought that perhaps I was having a nightmare, but I wasn't waking up, so I concluded it was real.

And it was a pure nightmare!  Never had I experienced in my heart the terror of forced labour and such lack of freedom.  In this dream, as I was working for my Chinese taskmasters, I started praying to H".  Using the principles of R. Arush book, I said to myself and to H", wait a second, this was decreed by You H"!  You H" let the Chinese take over my city, You H' are doing this for my benefit.  It is certainly bitter, this Chinese regime, but You H' wouldn't have it any other way for me.  Suddenly, within this nightmare, my fears, stress and tension were gone.  My body was trapped in this nightmarish regime, but my soul was connected to Gcd, and I felt totally at peace.

A few moments later I woke up from this dream - more refreshed than I've been in a year (also slept in cuz the kids weren't crying, so that helped...).  I thought to myself, if in the nightmare condition of imprisonment to the Chinese, I was able to internalize H" presence and achieve inner calm... why can't I do this with the forced prison of my addiction?  Why can't I pass the massage parlour and say, there it is, there is the Chinese official watching over me... (no joke... many of those places are Chinese owned!)  Thank You H", even though I'm in this awful environment, You H" are still with me, Thank YOU!

hi O.

i have to tell you that the following hit me hard, because you are so right,

ontheedgeman wrote on 22 Aug 2011 18:40:


it hit me home, i am currently accepting that i (still) have an addiction with p**n, and it makes me really depressed knowing that i have to start all over again fighting an addiction that till 2 weeks ago i didn't think that i had, but when i read what you wrote i instantly broke out in tears, and started talking to Hashem about my personal struggles, i didn't do that in a while and i have to tell you THANK YOU, because it felt amazing, suddenly i didn't feel alone in my new struggle anymore.
may Hashem have mercy on all of us and help us fight our addictions.

Tzadikel. (wanna be )

In the same vein, something I learned from another R' Arush book is to ask Hashem (which I do daily in Shmona Esrei) to "help me see that everything You do is for our very best."

I wouldn't wish this addiction on anyone, but it played a major role in who I am today.  And I finally like who I am.

this is a beautiful thread of beautiful ideas

wow, thank you for your encouraging words.  It's great to hear that my issues can help others...
kol tov b'simha.

Hi on the edge man,

Can I ask at what point in the dream did you feel liberated from your 'Chinese taskmasters'? What made you feel connected to Hashem? It's interesting that your subconscious associated Chinese Communists with your YH and addiction. You from the US?

Btw, I have been to China and it's not as totalitarian as you might think.

BW and glad to hear you are doing well,

DL

Lion - It was after I tried to leave the room and they wouldn't let me.  I was back at the task I was assigned (using my pareve knife to carve something).  I guess the feeling of being connected was cause by the realization that I could not leave the room any more, I had no choice but to work and do what the Chinese demanded.  I realize China is not so bad, my friend does work there too...  I'm in the north.  But I guess the Chinese also symbolize the Chinese women that work in the places of ill repute.  I hope I can meditate on this dream, because it was really such a great feeling, one of those rare dreams...  kind of like 'lucid' dreams.  I love those...

Hey edgeman,

Your dream really was beautiful in a way - how you realised that through this struggle you get closer to Hashem. You know what though; when the communists first came to power in China they abolished all prostitution, drugs and mafia activity. They really did clean house for some years. Then they opened the country's doors to foreign investment and influences and the old ways came back.

What strikes me though is the total absence of soft core mags on the shelves in newsagents and supermarkets. Looks like the government knows the harmful effects of porn.

Anyway, BW

DL