Unless you have been acting out on a regular basis and this has been a big issue for you through your life, yes - you are probably thinking about it too much.
One of the worst things we can do to 'deal with' our problem, is to create a mountain out of a molehill. Thinking about it and agonizing over it and trying to perfect our taharah in it...are all playing into the hands of the YH. They backfire and draw us after it even more.
As in, "Do not think about a three-legged pink elephant. Quick!!"
So "Keep On Trucking" is by far the best attitude for someone like that (which is probably most people). We all have tayvos. C'mon. Hashem does not fault us for having tayvos. He says, "Lo sasuru acharei..." And here you are worried about maybe acting out in your sleep?!
Hashem has helped you so much till now, and it sounds like you have grown so much so far. You have found a decent woman with which to build a real life together. To grow together with before Hashem. Wow.
Take it easy brother. Keep sharing your challenges, remain vigilant against selfishness and self-centeredness...but don't take yourself too seriously. Relax.
Never go to sleep afraid that you will have a wet dream. Go to bed with confidence that Hashem will take care of you just fine without your help. I say a tehilim and daven for those people I lusted after, using their real names directly, and tell Hashem
that i trust Him to help me have agood night's rest and wake up besimcha no matter what - even if it is nigzar on me that I have a bad dream. I say Adon Olam, I make sure to smile and than Hashem for the nice day and for my being alive, etc. Then i put myself and my Neshoma in His hands and go to sleep.
Goodnight!
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