I am a pervert. It is none of my business if I'd also be a tzaddik (which I am definitely not) - it would be Hashem's eisek. And only He would know, anyhow.

And I do not boast, I hope. But I am sober today!

Is that boasting? It's a miracle! It's crazy! It's nutty! It is actually hilarious, if you ask me. A guy like me, clean for years and getting the good life? Who understands such things? Hashem...morid she'ol vayo'al. Let's have a lechayim!!

You've got Humor Dov. Well, im still preplexed at how u still have a YH after 13 YEARS! being sober.

Who said I still have a YH?



OK, seriously. A person can know he is still a pervert even though he does not do anything perverted. Hashem loves His tayereh children who are perverts, too. Can you imagine how He 'feels' about his pervertelach who do not need to act out?! My sober friends and I are in a very fortunate group indeed!

I know that I am powerless over lust - that I cannot tolerate using it intentionally. If I try to play with it, lust will make a total fool out of me, and it has! And I know that it (acting out my lust) makes my life a completely unmanageable mess. So I had to stop acting out my lust and still cannot afford to restart using it. The guys who say they are not perverts any more - what does that mean that they are no longer pervs? That now they can afford to use it? I have never quite 'gotten' that ma'ayloh they say they have. For me, it would just be gayvoh.

And still I believe that my sobriety is in Hashem's hands.

It's exactly like parnossah. We do hishtadlus yet we must believe that it all comes from Hashem.

In reality, some really believe that, some don't....probably most of us kind of believe it halfway-ish. Nu. That seems to be the human condition - we manage.

In this, the goyim in SA taught me how to be with Hashem, by getting myself out of His way using the steps. Nobody but recovering perverts could have taught me that.

I want to be that kind of pervert, be"H, until my last breath on this planet.

Enough about this old dude- can Reb b bring in some klusky's or varnishkehs with schnapps already? Shabbos is getting so close we can smell it!

whoooooo! Heavy stuff... I have a different way of looking at this. Same idea, just different angle

had you waited another minute with the movie started i dont know if you could have stopped, so the lesson is
אל תאמין בעצמך עד יום מותך---------- ואל תביאנו לידי נסיון

uuuuuuuu! givaldik!