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life of a lamed vavnik
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TOPIC: life of a lamed vavnik 10004 Views

Re: life of a lamed vavnik 08 Oct 2009 21:27 #22416

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lamed vavnik wrote on 08 Oct 2009 11:57:

Right OK Guard,
no details just good news ? when i don't have good news she'll know it's bad news but she won't know how bad .?


Wives tend to know when their husbands are doing well spiritually.  You probably don't need to say anything.
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
Last Edit: by Fence4ever.

Re: life of a lamed vavnik 10 Oct 2009 20:27 #22540

I hear you Kedusha ,
i think my wife likes the reassurance that everything is still ok .that i'm not quiet b/c i 'm hiding something.
Last Edit: by Jonah.

Re: life of a lamed vavnik 10 Oct 2009 22:06 #22550

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Right OK Guard,
no details just good news ?


Not necessarily. Even bad news. After all, that would give you the power of accountability which we ALL need! I just mean, that when sharing news, be it good or bad, don't get into to many details... Women don't tend to understand it too well...
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by Beingsafe.

Re: life of a lamed vavnik 10 Oct 2009 22:14 #22552

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Our imaginations will take us there anyway.

But keeping that in mind, if its not a major slip / fall / trigger which you know would bother her, sometimes a few minor details are helpful in order for her not to imagine something worse than what really happened.
Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM"
Last Edit: by Koif.

Re: life of a lamed vavnik 11 Oct 2009 19:31 #22586

yeah  7up,
that's kind of what i meant .. but some times i see it may be too much pressure for her to nkow what's happening. > :o 8) ??? :   .random faces to please my 2 year old son on my lap.
Last Edit: by krtdani.

Re: life of a lamed vavnik 11 Oct 2009 19:35 #22587

BTW can anyone see my picture b/c i can't
Last Edit: by tzvi1.

Re: life of a lamed vavnik 11 Oct 2009 19:48 #22588

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me neither
Last Edit: by Hope1.

Re: life of a lamed vavnik 11 Oct 2009 20:52 #22590

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lamed vavnik wrote on 11 Oct 2009 19:31:

yeah  7up,
that's kind of what i meant .. but some times i see it may be too much pressure for her to nkow what's happening. > :o 8) ??? :   .random faces to please my 2 year old son on my lap.


I cant see your avatar, but your son must have loved the wiggly eye icons you picked for him :D

Each woman is different (duh!) so its hard to generalize advice. Just  like some people need to hear every detail from a doctor, while others are happier with as little information as possible.
I dont know if I can help, but feel free to PM if you wish.
Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM"
Last Edit: by Nedim613.

Re: life of a lamed vavnik 17 Oct 2009 22:45 #24022

i had a not great experience over shabbos, that ended well. i was bored and restless in the middle of the nite , shabbos nite and my old habits came back to me .i wasn't even in the mood, i didn't even have desire . But acting out is a strong habit you do sometimes just to do.just b/c you can. i thought about doing things that i shouldn't do, that would eventually for sure lead me to acting out . as i started i was asking myself, why am i doing this? i don't need this. just then my little 2 year old boy made a sound . i waited, he got up and started coming to me.  i quickly stopped what i was going to do and turned to him. he came to my bed with a stuffed toy SeferTorah gave it to me and left. I said to myself this is nuts. it was enough if he had just come  himself , but he came with a message! i got up and found him in the bathroom and asked him if he wanted to sleep with me tonite. he said yes . We both felt safer  that nite.
i'm not proud that i was too weak to stop myself but i am proud that H' sent me a PM to stop me . i didn't let myself get down over the weakness b/c of the message . H' wants you closer to him, don't waste time being depressed get closer to him!  i had a pretty good shabbos after that . just wanted to share that sometimes H' comes and grabs us in the worst times and shows us "look i'm here with you i care what you do . stop!".  May we all be Zoicheh to feel H's love and attention like that all the time.     
Last Edit: by Shoy.

Re: life of a lamed vavnik 18 Oct 2009 01:41 #24039

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that was a beautiful post...
gut voch
Last Edit: by Bat Ayin.

Re: life of a lamed vavnik 18 Oct 2009 06:17 #24055

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That should be copied on the HUGS! thread!

Wow.
Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM"
Last Edit: by Shark.

Re: life of a lamed vavnik 18 Oct 2009 19:13 #24189

i didn't know we had a hugs thread . but it was def. a hug.
Last Edit: by Mzl victory.

Re: life of a lamed vavnik 19 Oct 2009 08:26 #24265

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Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM"
Last Edit: by Olmajestic.

Re: life of a lamed vavnik 19 Oct 2009 12:52 #24312

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lamed vavnik wrote on 17 Oct 2009 22:45:

i had a not great experience over shabbos, that ended well. i was bored and restless in the middle of the nite , shabbos nite and my old habits came back to me .i wasn't even in the mood, i didn't even have desire . But acting out is a strong habit you do sometimes just to do.just b/c you can. i thought about doing things that i shouldn't do, that would eventually for sure lead me to acting out . as i started i was asking myself, why am i doing this? i don't need this. just then my little 2 year old boy made a sound . i waited, he got up and started coming to me.  i quickly stopped what i was going to do and turned to him. he came to my bed with a stuffed toy SeferTorah gave it to me and left. I said to myself this is nuts. it was enough if he had just come  himself , but he came with a message! i got up and found him in the bathroom and asked him if he wanted to sleep with me tonite. he said yes . We both felt safer  that nite.
i'm not proud that i was too weak to stop myself but i am proud that H' sent me a PM to stop me . i didn't let myself get down over the weakness b/c of the message . H' wants you closer to him, don't waste time being depressed get closer to him!  i had a pretty good shabbos after that . just wanted to share that sometimes H' comes and grabs us in the worst times and shows us "look i'm here with you i care what you do . stop!".   May we all be Zoicheh to feel H's love and attention like that all the time.       

wow.
for a long time i slept with a stuffed sefer torah as a teddy,and i would pour tears into it.
still my favorite nighttime companion!
Last Edit: by jimmyk22.

Re: life of a lamed vavnik 21 Oct 2009 20:43 #24894

full of tiavah a little frustrated and frazzeld , but holding my own and happy to be alive .  today was better than yesterday .( that's b/c yesterday really stunk!)  : : :
Last Edit: by abie613.
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