Lamed,

You said it yourself. This moment, right here, right now, that's where I'm at and truthfully, that's all I got. I better make the most of it!!

Shkoyach on 12 days!

Lamed Vav, Wellcome to the greatest place in the world! You have the right attitude and the power of the "Mirubim ha'osim es hamitzvah" and be"H you'll succeed. As you said, the bottom line is "WHAT DOES HASHEM WANT FROM ME RIGHT NOW". We're alive each second for one purpose only - to do Ratzon Hashem in that second, that's what life is all about. There's no extra time for worrying, self-pitying, getting down etc. , we have a job to do, and the Boss expects us to do it 24/7. So, it's good-bye to all that stuff, from now on it's Ivdu Es Hashem bisimcha 24/7. Of course I don't mean that we're expected to suddenly change over-night, but rather to keeeeep trying non-stop!

CHAZAK VE'EMATZ! 

thanx fellas,
14 days!  i'm feeling better than i have in a long time. i feel like i'm going somewhere. one day at a time. H' help me  finish today!

Amen!

CHAZAK VE'EMATZ!

Today was hard. i'm still here. i hung on by a thread the whole day . i think it's b/c i had a lot of stress yesterday . i fealt like i had had it. i wanted a break . last night i was repeating to myself the whole way through a shower H' please take my lust from me so that i can do your will. i made it but i feel lousy. .like i have lust in my blood. i went on the bus as i do every day and watching my eyes was so much harder than usual . i more or less did it . i am happy to say .but this sick lusty feeling has been following me around all day. there were just times i was just sitting on the bus w/ my eyes closed dovening for inner peace for a long while,  getting up and moving my seat. and just dovening for H' to take away this yetzer . but after it all i'm still clean, and that is pretty good for me .  i just couldn't wait to get to the forum to get it off my chest. I'm working on calming down and realizing that it's  OK to feel over worked b/c    I AM!! . i'm really grateful i made it through this much of today . Thank you H', pease help me finish today.
        15 days.and still alive.

I AM NOT THE EDITOR OF SHAMAYIM NEWS

BUT I AM SURE THE MALACHIM ARE DANCING

YES YOUR AVODAH IS HARD SIGNIFICANT AND REWARDING!!!!

b

Dear Lamed,

Your continued efforts are a Rayach Nichoach before the Ribbono Shel Olam.

Chazak v'Ematz!

It's easy to do ratzon Hahem when it feels good. But the real thing is when you don't feel good about it. It's the purest when you don't get any satisfaction. לפום צערה אגרא And it's not just the reward that is so much more (100 times as much) it's also the cleansing effect that it has on you.

On the other hand if you try to be happy about this monumental accomplishment, the simcha shel mitzvah has a tremendous power. R' Tzvi Meir qoutes from I-forgot-who, that while a mitzvah that's hard is worth 100 easy ones; a mitzvah with simcha is worth 1000 that are not with simcha. R' Tzvi Meir adds that it follows that if it's hard and you try to have simcha, it's 100,000 times as powerful than  "regular". 

CHAZAK VE'EMATZ!

Battle's words are so true...

Lamed, the day was hard, you struggled and you made it through! gotta say, that deserves some respect!

thanx a lot chevrah
I made it through and i feel better today .i need to be ready for and get used to feeling the need to act out and not > do it .  but i made it through one day  . just one day. if i have another day it will also be just one day.i heard someone even goes by minutes when it's really tough.
16 days!

HELLO IF IT WERNT TOUGH WE WOULDNT BE HERE

TZADDIK YOU DO ALL THAT YOU CAN DO

TRY YOUR HARDESTTTTTTT
AND THEN SOME MORE

AT THAT POINT YOU WILL BE REWARDED WITH TREMENDOUS SIYATTA DISHMAYA!!!

b

17 days.
Feeling better.hangin' in there. ;D

i want you all to know . i am feeling pretty low right now . i'm going through a hard time in my life financially . and i am in the middle of switching jobs from one that i liked to one i don't know anything about . my future is totally unknown right now and i'm scared . I know that H' runs the world .i'm so not scared of his decisions as i am of mine messing things up . i hope i am doing the right thing . even though i asked  a prominent Rav and was told i could go i still feel guilty and wrong . H' please guide me.
  But i want you to know this is the first time i haven't tried to escape by acting out . i needed to get my mind off of my troubles so i opened up my old chizuk e-mails that i haven't read .  and i 'm writing on the forum . i checked my progress on the chart and i just had to smile . 20 days! i don't know if i've ever done that in my life . for sure not with this good of an attitude . I hope that list of virtues for shmiras habris that was sent out is true b/c i think i need some  extra help to secure a job and a house . but under all these worries and sadness i definitely feel a certain sense of accomplishment in that i am aware this is a time of weakness for me and i must careful of the yetzer and not let him sneak in during my sadness .
H' please help me stay strong in my sobriety,help save me from sin, and help me get through this stage of my life B'shalom .   

lamed vavnik wrote on 24 Aug 2009 07:56:


Amen Amen Amen!

Lamed, thank you for sharing how you are feeling. I know for me it helps me when I write it down and at times I find it difficult to do just that. I am impressed that you were able to search for and find what to be mischazek from. Hatzlacha with your current nisyonos in life. 20 days! Keep going strong!

Reb Aryeh Levine was once asked if he is one of the lamed vavnikim. He replied, "maybe sometimes". When he was asked what he meant, he explained that while there are always 36 hidden tzadikim in the world at any given time, they are not always the same people... When one particular yid is overcoming a great nisayon, he may be one of the lamed-vavnikim at that moment.

And I am pretty sure that our "lamed vavnik" here is one of them these days!