Sorry, bro - I am learning from you, in a good way. Whether you like it or not (sticking out tongue emoticon).
Whether or not you feel it, you're still an amazing person, with a lot to teach, and you've grown tremendously, and continue to grow.
I wish you would share, so I could help encourage you...but remember that very often, the yetzer hora uses that line, "if you only knew, you'd understand" - even when we talk to god, to make us feel like it's OK. Not just in this area, but in ANY area!
If I knew, I would understand how difficult your nisayon is but i would still have faith that you could do it.
You're in a slump - get out, maybe go for a jog, and remind yourself to keep moving - and when your body insists that you have to listen, remember that you can tell your body, "no."
Let ratzon hashem take over. Get up, and remember that you are a tzadik, and getting up proves it.
You know you're going to get up, and you know you'll be happy when you do. So do it a day or two early, and be happy a day or two early!
