-- deleted --

I don't know whether you tried this already, but for me a short prayer telling HaShem that I am in His hands and that He has to decide if He wants me to fall or not helps me immensely. Couple of minutes later usually all the urges have gone. Also don't forget to ask Him to remove the images!

Greets,
SO

i agree with tomim completely(and with everyone else pretty much)
while it is obvious that many of us cant make it alone,and its clear that youre an honest struggling yid wed love to have here,the forum still might not be the best place for you at this time.the computer represents too many triggers for me.
guard can prob find you a sponsor/partner
the phone conferences are also really good.duvidchaim has one every day so its very often and convenient.
anonymity isnt really an issue.1)99% chance that you wont know anyone on the call. 2)you dont have to talk.you could just listen 3)even if you do talk,and even if one of the poeple somehow knows you and maybe recognizes your voice,hes in the same boat.
its your call,rebbe.but take everyones suggestions very seriously.
with love from this bochur-uri

p.s. if you decide you really really need the forum(your only excuse to keep the comp) then maybe you should only use it while your wife is in the room.

Hey someone, nice to hear from you! Long time no speak...  :D

Dear Lamed Vavnik, it's a free conference call company, so no one can even see your number. And you don't have to talk at all, you can just listen in... Check out the options here.

OK guys OK. i got the idea . my wife put the comp. on a white list for now and GYE if you can point me in the direction of a phone group in in the israel timezone  i Bl'N will give it a try. you know guys, if you hadn't just pushed me like that i would not have said this , that's a great thing . i really appreciate it .this is mamash what's called a chaburah toivah.people that give you peer pressure to improve in life.
BTW my wife needs the comp. for business.so i can't get rid of it though i am still trying.but that won't solve the essential problem .i had it b/f and i'll have it after.but now i'm getting rid of it.
and someone ...
I don't know whether you tried this already, but for me a short prayer telling HaShem that I am in His hands and that He has to decide if He wants me to fall or not helps me immensely. Couple of minutes later usually all the urges have gone. Also don't forget to ask Him to remove the images!
i did something like this in the beginning but i found myself just basicly saying "H' if you want me to be clean stop me" and kept going,  which i know is totally asur. now i just doven and doven for H' to take away the tayvah b/c i know i can't and i don't stop  untill it goes away . this only works if i'm on the street though not in front of an open access comp.(which i never am B'H)that's probably what you meant.

BTW
10 days! and i'm feeling surprisingly good.! i thought i might be dead by now.  H' help me vaiter!

Dear Lamed,

You are at the point where you have serious success to build upon.  Keep it up!

11 days. this is saving my life .I hope this isn't just premature excitement but with this forum it is feeling easier . H' please help me not to lower my guard.Keep me strong!
I'm finding it diificult not to think of a large number of days i want to have of prisha from avierah and that is hurting the avoidah of one day at a time.any sugestions?

L.V, you're doing great!




You can join Boruch's Sunday group, which is 9 AM on Sunday mornings, so in Israel it's 4 PM afternoon.

You can also join Duvid Chaim's group, 4 times a week. It's 12 PM U.S time, which is 7 PM Israel time. - Very advisable!

Don't think about 90 days. Ask Hashem for help one day at a time and he'll give it to you... Like the maan in the dessert. Each day it came for that day only.
See Dov's quote of the day - in Chizuk e-mail #556!

Keep inspiring us!

Dear Lamed,

Dov could say this much better than I can, but who knows about the future?  And who can change the past (other than through Teshuva)?

As they say: Yesterday is history.  Tomorrow is a mystery.  Today is a gift - that's why it's called the present!  :D 

Just concern yourself with today, and continue to build upon your success.

Hatzlacha!

It's not enough for me to just not think about it .i need a reason why i shouldn't think about it. tell me if i'm wrong but i understood it as a few points .
1. you need to break it up b/c you can only work on things in bite size pieces.that is avoidas hamusar derech binyan . building one brick at a time . take somehting you can handle and make it yours and that will change you .
2. but more than that ,its on a much deeper level . yesterday is gone, there is no tomorrow all i have is now . all of life is only now. we only live in the now and that is all we can change.  (even tshuvah is through what i do now . it affects my previous actions like charatah on a neder(ram"chal) b/c i reinject, now, new cavanois into the action to reveal that it was a mistake after all.) the Sfas Emes says that every night our actions of the day are put away in a vualt to be judged later and the new day begins free of the past. The future is only in H's hands .who really knows what will be ? live,die, success failure,rich,poor,only H' knows . I heard this once, a jew only lives for today . A jew doesn't worry about tomorrow .  just like the maan . It's all about emuna . it's all about recognising what is in our hands to change and what is not.         

Kedusha , that's actually what you siad isn't it? : :-\.
you said it in one line ,i said it in twenty .i guess i needed to say it for myself.

12 days !

lamed vavnik wrote on 17 Aug 2009 03:06:


Absolutely right.  Another way to put it is that we only have Bechirah regarding our behavior in the present.