Things could be better . I could be clean . Things could be worse . I could be dead . I know i have a lot more to be happy about , i'm just not feeling it right now .
BTW fantasy is poison . my mind is my own worst enemy. not a comfortable thought . ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???

Hey Lamed V you gotta hang around more. Your chant hasnt been heard in awhile. I think i need to hear more often.

lamed vavnik wrote on 12 Dec 2009 16:27:




Things could be worse - you could be dead and clean without having worked for it.
Things WILL get better - because you will fall and get up and earn your cleanliness.
And the zchar will be yours for eternity.

Yup, Mom's right.

Lamed Vavnik, follow the handbooks. If the approaches and tools that you have been using until today have not been enough to keep you clean, check the handbooks and find out what new tools you can start to try that you haven't tried before.

You'll get there if you stick to the path. "Telling yourself it's poison" is not enough for an addict. We are like little babies when it comes to this addiction. And a baby won't understand poison. If it looks colorful and tempting, in the mouth it goes!

Wow Guard. i really like that mashel. Never did think of it that way. baby poison etc etc i think that one hit home a little harder. Thanks again for everything.

Things could be worse - you could be dead and clean without having worked for it.
Things WILL get better - because you will fall and get up and earn your cleanliness.
And the zchar will be yours for eternity.
[/quote]
OK i hear that . i am already back on the road to being clean again . BUT w/ all due respect as much schar as i get for falling and getting up , i would take any day the gift of being clean . the gift of freedom from the yetzer . no question about it. 

Yeah Big G . its not the methods b/c i know them . it not your handbooks cus i read them .
it's sticking to the path . that's the only problem. telling myself porn is poison helped me with porn and still does, but it doesn't stop the mind . this had nothing to do(directly) with porn. private strife , personal physical issues , etc. i was stuck alone and suffering at 1 in the morning on Friday nite, and  i have a fantastic memory B'h (not in this case) . i need  a lot of positive attitude reworking and self control training.
telling a baby it's poison won't stop him  . right. You have to stop him and teach him . i think there are certain things in my life where i am just still a baby . i need to grow up . i asked somone to sponsor me through my climb to kedushah . we'll see if it goes if not i'll ask someone else. ,if not i'll use the whole darn forum as my sponsor . i don't care any more i want to kill this thing. the last guy you gave me as a chavrusa flaked out on me .never heard from him again. accountabilty keeps me from wandering .keeps me grounded and practical and keeps me going  . thats the whole thing for me consistently keeping to my plan and contact with people keeping track of me . but you know what Guard ? just so they won't call me a sour puss i\ll read the handbooks again .that's how much i love chazara.      

Feel free to contact me mr Lv when you want imtrying25@gmail.com

It would be nice to get the gift of freedom from the yetzer hora...or would it? I think 7up hit all the right points - are we given challenges in this life? Nope. This life is ALL about challenges. Without them, there'd be no purpose in our being here. So, facing nisyonos isn't fun, and we certainly don't ask for extras...but remember that the falling and getting up that you're doing is exactly what you've been put here for - and by working on it, you're winning, and accomplishing what you're supposed to!

Ha - it's like back in camp, on the sides of the color war songs, they'd write, "smile - you're on the winning team!"

But we ARE on the winning team because, without a doubt, signing into GYE is signing up on Hashem's team.

Contact our partner Gabai at partner.gye@gmail.com and ask him for a NEW one 

How do accountability partners work?

silentbattle wrote on 13 Dec 2009 21:25:


See this page.

Funny Guard because i tried that trick too and im still waiting!! ;D ;D ;D ;D

thanx but no thanx big G . i'm trying out people i know about already from here to work w/ .
and BTW again, you can talk all day long about the beauty of nisyonos and how that's what we're here for and i agree w/ you  . but we still can and should ask they be removed and not to come to them . we want to be close to H' .we want to feel kedusha in our lives .we want to be holy. we don't want tests . if we have to do it to get close to H' NU NU . ok. But i'd rather feel the joy of being  holy than smell the stink of being crapola ....scuse my french. :-[ 

i'll take kedusha any way i can get it . fried boiled or microwaved . just give it to me!