i saw my poem in the  e-mail . somehow it looks even cheesier in color! : :
thanx for the kind words.
BTW .a few words to myself. 
i want to be happy . really happy . i want life .real life. i want to look at people as people  . i want to be normal . OK.        SO DON'T GO LOOKING AT P**N!!! IT ROTS YOUR BRAIN KILLS, YOUR SENSITIVITY, WARPS YOUR REALITY! SO WHY DO YOU WANT IT? WHY? WHY? DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH ? DO YOU ENJOY HURTING YOURSELF ?  DO YOU WANT TO START AGAIN HEALING THE PAIN YOU CAUSE YOUR WIFE AND YOURSELF? AND START COUNTING  THAT STINKIN' HONOR CHART AGAIN?
its not worth it . they're not even real . 

Hey! Whose honor chart are you calling "STINKIN"??

It's Ok, I know what you mean    :D

Powerful words there! I hope the guy who they're aimed at really LISTENS  :D

yeah , i think he heard them loud and clear . ... he was sitting right next to me. ;D  .
BTW .
            reality just do it .
        as good as the fantasy is , it's just a fantasy.

hello i'd just  like to say ...
porn is poison . porn is poison .porn is poison.  H' is gevaldik . i want to be happy H' please help me stay strong . life is good . i want life. 

lamed vavnik wrote on 13 Nov 2009 08:11:


It's far worse than poison.

Hatzlacha!

you're right . pioison makes you dead . this stuff kills you while you're still alive.

hello . porn is still poison . but it seems so is negativity. being positive and focusing on the good things in life ,or that you hve life helps  a lot to bring you out of the fire of taivah .wehat i have is good . i don't want to mess it up . i don't need to run after nothing b/c i already have something ..life .

Way to go!

continueing on the slow happy road to kedusha . focus on what you have . aprreciate the life you have been given. try to stay away from stimulation of any kind . ( this is very difficult ). what do you do about an extremely attractive co-worker , you have succeeded in avoiding most of the time , but every so often she pops up in front of you and you're not strong enuf to give her the cold shoulder ? what i've been doing is focusing on H' getting thru' the day ,keeping the happiness going ,and letting it run itself out . been working so far. dovening i have done and do . and will do more. H' please help me get past this stupid fantasy . BTW..... porn is still poison . so is  day dreaming ........ and ogling ........... and thinking with a dead brain in general. be positive and grateful.     

I am starting to see why he called himself lamed vavnik. I'm pretty sure he is one.

(Hey this forum is the lamed-vavnik hide-out... All these Tzadikim and no one knows who they are!)

If you ever have time during the day to make a phone call to a brother than I highly advise you to do so if you feel triggered by your co-worker.

yeah, calling a brother during my work is almost impossible .
but i have a few old friends in the program i could call for support  just to let out the tension and get back on earth. .Calling out for help is something i need to work on , i am a bit of a loner . sometimes i think i have to do it all myself .but i had a nice time today thinking about my Olam Habah for my mitsvos and  comparing it to the temporary earthly pleasures . it was pretty nice . i also started using Asher Yotzar as a spring board for appreciating life and what i have in general . it's a nice experience . when you're full of gratitude and appreciation for what you have ,you need less . 8) 8) 

B"H had a wonderful shabbos and just had a realization that the yetzer is always w/ me . He reminds me he's there every so often.  > > wish he wouldn't . but as long aS he goes away again afterwards  , i'm o.k.

I don't know if he'll ever go away from you, but you can go away from HIM 

still here . still clean. porn is still poison. staying happy is not as easy as i thought  ??? but life also isn't as bad as i thought .  .
My life is good. H' is great . the neshama is powerrful and  holy and mine.