Hello,
Since I was 18 I made a vow ,I would go to the mikvah anytime I spilled seed...."It worked out well for a while".

I'm 20 now and when I have a wet dream or masturbate I start getting massive headaches and feel very uncomfortable (Dirty mainly) with myself until I dunk myself in the mikvah.

I was away last week and masturbated (couden't control it) anyway there was no mikvah around..I felt like I was going to snap ,I felt very weak and tired......

Is it normal what I'm doing should I be going to the mikvah? help please I can't live without a mikvah.

Welcome Shermy!

First, look around the website and determine what your status is.  Are you a lust addict, or just m... once in a while.

Secondly, why can't you control the urges?  Is there work to be done on shmiras eynayim and entertaining lustful thoughts?

Third, do you feel dirty because of the MZ, or because your vow necessitates that you go to the mikveh?  Or can you even tell these two feelings apart anymore?

Just some of my initial reactions to reading your post.

Thanks for joining.  Hope you stick around to get the help you need and help others.

Alex

Hey Alex ,thanks for the quick response to sum it all up I have gotten to a point in my life were I cannot do anything after masturbation until I go to a mikvah.

I don't quite get how that answers #1 and 2.

Or 3 for that matter.

Is it guilt :'(?  Do you feel dirty :-\? Tamei :-[? Neder bound ???? Obsessed :o? Something Else 8)?

This is an anonymous forum.  If you could open up a little bit about the things I asked you (in my first response), and maybe give us some more background (that won't compromise your anonymity) I, and others on the forum will have what to work with to begin helping you. OK :D?