I just joined the forum today and want to thank you all for your support. I have spent so many years feeling depressed and devious and that I was robbing myself of the life that I knew I was capable of living. This feels like a real rebirth. I'm just so nervous- how do you truly change something that you have battled with your whole life? I look forward to benefiting from your chizuk and hopfully being in a position to be mechazek others down the road.

welcome! YOU  dont change it. HASHEM changes it. you will definately benefit from GYE! just keep on posting and get connected. you'll find that you will get a lot of chizzuk and inspiration and improvement (and even a little bit of fun:)

and now the official welcome package:


Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama   Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!

GYE Program in a Nutshell: (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer).

'Guard Your Eyes' offers a unique approach to helping people by recognizing that there are many different levels in the struggle for "Shmiras Ainayim" and "Shmiras Habris". After studying the experience of hundreds of religious strugglers over the past few years, we put together the suggestions and recommendations that we feel are best for the various levels. We divided the tools, features and services that GYE offers into 8 different levels. This "GYE Program in a Nutshell can help people quickly identify at what level of the struggle they are at, and which tools and features would help them most at their particular level.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into recovery:

1) Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information… We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability, because filters alone are usually not sufficient and they can often be bypassed.

2) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

3) Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here.

4) Post away on this forum! You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

5) GuardYourEyes also offers many free anonymous phone conferences where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See www.guardyoureyes.org > Tools > Phone Conferences for many different options. Our conferences are taking place every day, morning, noon and night… Joining a phone group would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but the daily call will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

6) If you need more general guidance, write to our e-mail helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call our hotline at 646-600-8100.

7) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook". This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "Attitude & Perspective", details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

The second part, "The 18 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

May Hashem be with you!

Hello YSB.  Welcome to the forum.

How to change?

I suggest, besides keeping up your own thread, spend some time browsing through other people's threads.  See what they have gone through, and how they have dealt with it.

You'll get some good ideas that way.

--Eye.

YSB wrote on 15 Jul 2011 03:02:


GYE is certainly a sight for sore eyes!

And you don't change what you've battled with, but you can change yourself, slowly and bit by bit

As HS said - Hashem changes the big things!

It might help if you look at it this way - you're not fighting to stay clean for the rest of your life - you stay clean one day at a time, even one hour at a time, if necessary. When I have an urge, I find that it's a lot easier to think, "I'm not going to act out right now," then to tell myself that I will never act out again.

To be honest, I think I've kinda programmed myself to think this way, by now. Originally, though, my mind would be plagued by thinking, "how can I possibly stay clean forever?"

YSB wrote on 15 Jul 2011 03:02:


welcome! your in the right place, read the stuff this site has, read the book the "light of efrayim". also maybe post your story it sometimes helps got get it off your heart and then you can get alot of chizzuck!

haztloca

Welcome to our community. If you are serious about it, you will succeed with the help of GYE.
Most people that started here, couldn't belive that would be able to see a change, most first posts sounds like yours. But, after a while, it becomes much easier. Kepp on trucking one day at a time.

Welcome YSB!

Mazal Tov on your rebirth.  Why are you nervous?  I'm excited for you!  Take it one battle at a time.  Just say no now, today.  When lust comes knocking, turn the battle over to Hashem. Tell him you are powerless over lust, you don't want to lust.  Ask him to fight it for you.

Hatzlocho on your new journey.  Life is sweet.

Alex

hi and welcome,
you got some real good advice and tips already, hope you stay and find the path to a truly good life
wishing you much hatzlocha
zs

welcome ysb

This forum is a great place stick around and you'll get a lot of advice of how to deal with addiction and how to look at the world and especially how to look at yourself