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90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 95175 Views

Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 05 Jan 2012 19:14 #130161

  • Hashem Yaasfeni
You gotta be clear.  I think what you mean to say is your telling the Yetzer harah he's not welcome at your door.  Hashem is VERY welcome. your post sounds like Hashem is not welcome in your home.

As you can tell i have too much free time on my hands.....
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Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 05 Jan 2012 19:35 #130164

  • Gevura Shebyesod
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I think he meant that when we act out we are telling Hashem that he is not welcome.
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."

"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."

- General Grant



My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends
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Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 06 Jan 2012 02:08 #130197

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Hashem Yaasfeni wrote on 05 Jan 2012 19:14:

As you can tell i have too much free time on my hands.....

in the beginning i also had about a million posts a week
but i learned not to automatically comment
when u want some1 to correct something send him a pm
this should also have been a pm 
TZ
RAT [anyone remembers that]
?דער באשעפער לאווט מיך אייביג. וויפיל לאוו איך עהם
My Creator loves me at all times. How great is my love for him?
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Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 06 Jan 2012 14:38 #130241

  • Hashem Yaasfeni
Ok Lets get back on track here goes (and I counted properly...)

#64

Regarding what the Mishna says 'Da ma lehashiv le'Apikorus', Know how to answer the heretic, Rabbi Avigdor Miller Z"L quotes his Rosh Yeshiva as saying;

    Know how to answer the heretic within you, the yetser Harah, dont just give in to his urging you, answer him back, tell him to take a hike....
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Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 29 Jan 2012 15:34 #131967

  • longbeach
#65 We only have so much time given to us in this world...
is there really any we have to waste?
Need a break form your "reality?" take a walk, exercise, call afriend...there is NEVER enough time for these things....

yet there is time for THIS!?
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Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 29 Jan 2012 18:32 #131975

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#66

befeirishe jawbreakers:

SAY NO TO DRUGS
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Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 02 Feb 2012 02:47 #132250

#67  Acting out leaves dirty spiritual grime that is hard to remove, and keeps us from cleaving to Gcd.
Recovery in 6 words:  Trust H".  Clean House.  Help others.
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Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 06 Feb 2012 22:08 #132491

  • davidk
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there is no reason to say yes!! when u r not acting out u r urself, present ,n serene!!
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Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 09 Feb 2012 16:32 #132681

  • mr. emunah
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8)it makes you depressed
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Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 09 Feb 2012 16:34 #132682

  • TehillimZugger
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Dear Mr. Emunah!
[like your name]
Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

GuardYourEyes (GYE) is a vibrant network and fellowship of Jews of all affiliations, struggling to purify themselves and break free of lust related behaviors. For the first time, there is somewhere to turn to for help in these areas. We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama  .  Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!
 
In the last couple of years, the GYE network has helped roughly 1,000 Jews get back on a path of sanity, self-control and healing and has touched the lives of thousands more. GYE has become known throughout the Jewish world as the number one address for dealing with these challenges which have reached epidemic proportions. 

The tools of our recovery program were developed with guidance from the best experts in the field, such as Rabbi Dr. Avraham J. Twerski, and through the personal experience of hundreds of Jews who successfully broke free. We use a unique approach that recognizes that there are many different levels in these struggles.

Our network is comprised of a website, a pulsating forum, phone conferences, daily Chizuk e-mails, support hotlines, therapists, live 12-Step groups and a program of recovery for all levels of this struggle/addiction.

All our work is free of charge and we zealously protect the complete anonymity of all our members.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into your journey:

1) See the "GYE Program in a Nutshell" (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer) that can help you quickly identify at what level of the struggle you are at, and which tools and features would help you most at your particular level.

2) Install a strong filter (see this page for more info). It is hard to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away.  The filter gabai at filter.gye@gmail.com will hold the passwords for you. We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability.

3) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

4) Join the 90 Day Challenge. Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change the neuron pathways created by addictive behaviors in the brain.

5) Post away on this forum, where hundreds of yidden like you exchange chizuk and post logs of their journey to recovery. You will internalize that you are not alone, and you will learn the techniques and attitude that work for so many others.

6) Join our free anonymous phone conferences, led by an experienced sponsor.

7) If you need more general guidance, write to GYE’s helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call the hotline at 646-600-8100.

8.) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook" (a hard copy can be purchased for cost price over here). This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "The 20 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

The second part, "Attitude & Perspective", detail 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…


Our souls cry inside of us, but we have accustomed ourselves to block out that cry. Today we can begin to be who we really want to be.

We are here for you.
www.GuardYourEyes.org
GYE E-Mail Helpline: gye.help@gmail.com
GYE Phone Hotline: 646-600-8100
Help us help others: Donate Here
?דער באשעפער לאווט מיך אייביג. וויפיל לאוו איך עהם
My Creator loves me at all times. How great is my love for him?
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Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 12 Feb 2012 19:59 #132848

  • anonymous17

I was once a smoker and while I knew I was actually killing myself and making myself sick in many ways, I was not willing to give it up. It seemed like too much of an effort, too hard a trek.
It was not until my Dad (ע"ה) pleaded with me to stop that I finally agreed.

The reason I mention cigarettes it is because it is an addiction just like this one.
It is a totally illogical addiction because it is well known that it is harmful  _  just like this one.
(why would a person do something that is very detrimental to himself on purpose - illogical)
It is a powerful addiction just like this one.

I would like to give you some tips that have helped me in the hope they will help some of you too:

1. Don't be afraid to start even if you fail.
a.  As painful as it may be, we all fail sometimes. Just take it as a fact of life.
b.  Every effort you make is accumulated for you and it will help you for when you finally do succeed.
c. Like a mountain climber when they fall down they either
i. Fall back to an anchor they placed beforehand so they don't fall too far
ii. Or fall back down but they know all the rocks that are dangerous and are the places that are safe. They will do much better the next time up.

2. Develop a marathon man mentality for a few weeks. Long enough to pull yourself out of the mud. It is not as hard as it sounds. "Once you're on it you're on it."* Then it is much easier because you are both physically and spiritually farther away from the addiction and you begin to see rewards.

Live each day at a time. The confusion and fear of tomorrow and what tomorrow may bring can stop you in you tracks. But if you live your life "one day at a time"* it is much easier.


3. Study Torah
a. It keeps your mind filled with positive thoughts
b. Make it a constant study - keep at it

In  Kiddushin 30 page 2 it says:
c. "Even so did the Holy One, blessed be He, speak unto Israel: ‘My children! I created the Evil Desire, but I [also] created the Torah, as its antidote; if you occupy yourselves with the Torah, you will not be delivered into his hand, for it is said: If thou doest well, shalt thou not be exalted?"
d. In particular study about this subject.

4. Do physical exercise
a. It provides the body with a lot of what it really needs and keeps it satisfied

5. Pray to G-d for help - He does help even if it does not seem so at times. Life has its ups and its downs and that is just the way it is.

6. He will give you the strength to see yourself out of this - you will be happy you did (for the above 90,000 reasons)

*This message has been made possible by the teachings of Rabbi Abraham Twersky and  Rabbi Noach Weinberg (ע"ה).


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Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 13 Feb 2012 11:21 #132865

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Thanks Mr. Anonymous [or is it Mr. Seventeen?  ;)] for a very enlightening post.
Perhaps it's even better than the general "welcome package" I just delivered to Mr. Emunah.
It seems you will be a tremendous asset to this site, so I can't wait for you to introduce yourself in the "introduce yourself" forums...
?דער באשעפער לאווט מיך אייביג. וויפיל לאוו איך עהם
My Creator loves me at all times. How great is my love for him?
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Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 16 Feb 2012 04:56 #133112

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#69

EVEN IF YOU KEEP IT SECRET, YOUR WIFE FEELS IT AND SHE WILL HATE YOU
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Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 21 Feb 2012 20:00 #133476

#70  - you know your shalom bayis is way better when you are clean!
#71 - when you have nothing to hide, you can be honest with the entire world and never fear being discovered.
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Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 21 Feb 2012 23:21 #133492

  • geshertzarmeod
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#72 forgive me if this was said already
[glow=red,2,300]יצא שכרו בהפסדו

i couldnt tell if it was already mentioned because I kept getting lost in the list.
but there's a long way to go. so an extra one wouldnt hurt.
ישראל אע"פ שחטא ישראל הוא
If you're connected above, you won't fall down below - Reb Shlomo
ולבי חלל בקרבי
לולא האמנתי לראות בטוב ה' בארץ חיים
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