Hi.I live in Lakewood, NJ. Ive read tons on physcology and on all levels I have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, OCD, extreme shame, depression, extermely unmanagable levels of anxiety, and have been traumatized as result of physical abuse. This is all in addition to my  P & M addiction. I can't begin to describe what pain the NPD gives me, and it prevents any successful sobriety. Does someone have a similar case, or does someone know of a religious therapist I can contact in the NJ and New York area. I am extremely poor, and not even sure insurance will cover therapy.

Ive been here before, changed my screenname, it used to be bechuri_reuven.. if anyone remembers.  Thank you for your help.

Welcome back herr professor

Iwouldnt pasken all those conditions on my own unless a professional has diagnosed you. You should contact an organization called RELIEF. It is run by rabbi babbad who lives in lakewood. They should be able to direct you to the right person.
Hatzlacha

Herr Professor,
You are a Jew created btzelem Elokim.  And your neshama is a cheilek Elokim mimaal.  Which means your value is infinite.  It is precious to Hashem that you seek to break free from your prison, part self-imposed, part circumstantial.

Take a step.  Do something to break the pattern of addiction.  A baby step.  Be sober for one day.  Install a filter.  Daven for Help.  Nothing is too difficult for our Creator.

We're here for you.
Have a wonderful Shabbos
Alex