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Sliding backwards?
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: Sliding backwards? 1011 Views

Sliding backwards? 06 Aug 2009 05:07 #11004

  • Eye.nonymous
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I'm jealous of all the posts that say, "I've been a heavy lust addict for 20 years, but now I've found Guard Your Eyes, and I'm finally clean!"

I feel that I've been going backwards.  Just by officially taking up this struggle, this whole topic is just on my mind a whole lot more.  And, if I do slip--even looking at women on the streets--I feel like I REALLY should know better now.

Has anyone else experienced this?  How should I deal with it?

Last Edit: by Fowth.

Re: Sliding backwards? 06 Aug 2009 07:49 #11011

  • Tomim2B
-- deleted --
Last Edit: 09 Jan 2010 23:30 by .

Re: Sliding backwards? 06 Aug 2009 09:39 #11022

  • Eye.nonymous
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...to add:

I feel like my lust has multiplied a hundred times since I officially started to tackle this addiction.

I thought, perhaps, it's just that I'm more aware of it now, but really I haven't changed.  But, somehow I feel that my first comment is more accurate--my lust has really increases suddenly.

Last Edit: by wanttobebetter.

Re: Sliding backwards? 06 Aug 2009 12:07 #11030

  • kutan
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Dear R' Eye,
it sounds FRUSTRATING!!!

My 2 cents guess is that your still in the fight the lust stage. Doesn't work for most, except the strong willed perhaps, like Tamim2b, who definitely seems to have one of those old fashioned neshamos, from the good old days when men were men. Now, we are all wimps. (Sorry, all)

Please work out in you rmind (posting it helps a great deal...) on how the advise in the handbooks jives with you. How do you relate to the summary of the first 3 steps of the 12.

These 3 steps, which are summarized and discussed throughout the forum and in past chizuk emails, were the key for me.

The Satmar Rav ZT"L once saw someone looking sideways as a woman passed. He must have sensed the struggle, and told the man, better look at her and think of the wall then to look at the wall and think of her!
Of course, he meant that the goal is to look at the wall and think of... anything.. but her.

That goal only comes about by learning to stop the lusting.

6 months ago, I would have told someone who said that, they're crazy.  : There is no switch to turn off lusting, its part of me.

But to my amazement, there really is. :D

But like all good things, it needs hurevanya (effort) to discover and maintain.

MAIN THING >>>> is like you said:  I'm jealous of all the posts that say, "I've been a heavy lust addict for 20 years, but now I've found Guard Your Eyes, and I'm finally clean!"

I feel that I've been going backwards.
that's GREAT! if you are really jealous, you are going to change. IT will give you the fuel to scour the site and internalize the great ideas here.

very best wishes,
kutan
Rashi, Breishis (10:25)
Last Edit: by roundtwogye.

Re: Sliding backwards? 06 Aug 2009 15:57 #11063

  • the.guard
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You are playing tug of war with the yetzer hara. If you pull a little, he pulls back even harder. Instead, the way to win is like Kutan said. JUST LET GO OF THE ROPE AND HE'LL GO FLYING!!

(Moshol by "momo")
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by Jaywolf .

Re: Sliding backwards? 06 Aug 2009 17:56 #11096

  • kutan
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guardureyes wrote on 06 Aug 2009 15:57:

You are playing tug of war with the yetzer hara. If you pull a little, he pulls back even harder. Instead, the way to win is like Kutan said. JUST LET GO OF THE ROPE AND HE'LL GO FLYING!!

(Moshol by "momo")


that moshel is PHENOMENAL!

the JUST part, though, is only true once you learn how to do it.

Its sort of like learning to ride  a bicycle. Seems impossible beforehand, and afterwards you wonder at the people that can't
Rashi, Breishis (10:25)
Last Edit: by .

Re: Sliding backwards? 06 Aug 2009 19:06 #11104

  • bardichev
the vort turn triggers into triumphs is gevaldiggggggggggggg

even if it's my quote


man yeimar ver zoogt that the REACTION to a trigger MUST be HIRHURIM RA-IM or worse??

It can be a little knip in bekkel from HKB"H saying KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!! (or else...)

b
Last Edit: by will overcome this.
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