Hey Guys,

An intermittent problem keeps on dogging me and I don't know how to shake it off once and for all. Every few weeks, I have masturbated and wasted seed whilst in bed at night. When fully awake, I know this is something I would never do, but when I'm partially asleep the usual inhibitions are just absent. I know that I do it either because of stress or because I feel randy. I promise you guys that I try not to look at porn and stare at women, so I don't think not guarding my eyes enough is the reason. 

Does anybody have any suggestions to help me overcome this issue? Thank you and hope you all have a great weekend.

DL

Yes.  But first, tell me - does it usually happen about 45 minutes after you go to "sleep"?  How much control and memory do you have - do you "wake up" halfway?

Can you describe (here or in PM) a couple of situations where it has happened, with details like level of tiredness, timings, how you found out what you did, etc.?

If you mean, however, that you were just very tired and bored, then I don't have any immediate suggestions.  I just feel that you might be suffering from a known phenomenon.

Hi,

It usually happens within 2 hours of 'going to sleep'. I will be totally honest: at these times I am drowsy but still aware that I am pleasuring myself. The strange thing is that I don't seem to realise/care what I'm doing. The normal sense of inhibition that I would have during the day is just totally absent. If I was in my right frame of mind (i.e. totally alert) I know this is something I would not do. 

I don't do it because I'm tired or bored, I think it's more of a case of self-medicating to relieve stress or sexual desire. When I ejaculate then I come to my senses and think what an IDIOT I've just been.

It is a bad habit which I'm determined to stamp out, I just need to have the tools/knowledge to help me do it.

Thanks Jester

Very importantly - did you go to sleep at all first?

If I'm understanding this correctly, he falls asleep first.

Two tips: Always sleep with both pajama pants and underwear.  Second, be careful what you look at during the day.

My pajamas only come with one set of pants, I guess he can wear the pants from another pair as well.  Or did you mean putting both feet into the pajamas? Wow there realy are some strange people on this site.

You know very well what I meant (and even if you don't, I trust everyone else does).

Kedusha wrote on 17 Jun 2011 14:44:


In this case, it is probably a similar phenomenon to sleepwalking, and is called sleepsex, or sexsomnia.  It is something that has been recently identified, and is actually beyond one's control, until the point where they become conscious.

I found it ambiguous, though - if it happens "while falling asleep", it is unlikely to be this.  Sexsomnia usually occurs within a couple of hours of falling asleep, and is a sleep-related disorder.

TheJester wrote on 17 Jun 2011 16:05:
I don't think we should be so hasty to make that diagnosis. If it isn't thatthat then there may be different solutions. Also is it a medical fact that a person has know control over having sex in his sleep. If it is caused by his daytime actions or thoughts then it may be considered as something he is causing.

chaimlustaddict wrote on 17 Jun 2011 18:16:


In case I was unclear, nobody is making any diagnosis - certainly not until (at least I, or) we understand whether he is actually asleep, waking up, or fully awake.  I, for one, understand this condition better than most, as well as some triggers and ideas for mitigation.  It has caused some very, very nasty issues for me, personally, in the past.

For the record, sleep sex is not to do with lustful dreams, necessarily.  It is where one goes on "autopilot" into sexual behavior during one phase of sleep.  It is quite separate and different to "wet dreams", which are specifically lustful dreams.

If you (or anyone) has any knowledge on the Torah principles behind this kind of parasomnia, please do share - I have yet to find any that deal with these (such as the advice that thoughts during the day influence dreams).

Hey Guys,

Thanks for all your comments and help. I contacted a guy who studies the Zohar and this is what he recommended (Maybe some of it will be applicable to you guys as well):
He also sound a lot like Guard lol. Also, If any of you feel scanning the Zohar would help you, here is the link to his site: dailyzohar.com/?p=4617

You have a lot of spiritual energy and masturbation was the way that the negative side held you from reaching higher levels.
It is the hardest restriction because it is related to the level of Yessod. The pleasure is great because it comes from the upper sefirot. It drains us and we feel immediate lack of light because there is no continuation for this light.
From your story, I assume that you are now about 26 years old and not married.

If you properly follow the next steps you could gain all your lost spiritual energy back.
1. Set a goal and pray to get married with the best woman for your life. (please do not define look or colors. Let the light guide you into it.)
2. Be careful with your eyes. Avoid looking at women, especially their significant parts or whatever attracts you (breasts, cleavage butt, lips, ears...you know your self.). Abvoid websites, magazines, 'Victoria Secrets catalog and similar stuff. If you accidentally look, close your eyes (not while driving!) and say Shema Yisrael or the first three lines of the Ana B'Koach.
3. Never beat yourself for accidents.
3a. Avoid reading the newspaper. If the news are big, you will hear it in the air. Seeing different traumas scenes, deaths, accidents and other ills of society, contaminate and weaken the soul.
4. Socialize yourself with good and fun people but not 'one track minded'.
5. Schedule Zohar scanning time morning and evening, including short scanning before going to sleep. It is good to keep a Zohar book next to your bed or a small one under your pillow. When scanning ask the light to erase all porn images from your brain.
5a. Avoid eating pork because it increases the sexual desires, especially for a sensitive person like you. Eat healthy to balance the body energies. It will help increasing spiritual power. Join a gym, Yoga...etc.
6. When meeting a new 'lady' (that how you should feel toward her, not a chick or a girl or an 'easy' one), ignore the sexual attraction element. Talk and treat her like a friend with no sexual agendas. develop relationships only for the purpose of getting married. To avoid losing further spiritual energy, you have to stay on track. It will better you in all aspects of your life.
7. If the relationship is honest and you feel close to her and that 'She could be the one', you may be more intimate with her. If not then after giving it a decent chance, you let her go and continue your search for your special lady.
8. Even if the woman ask for sex and doesn't care if you don't call again, do not let it happen. The more you waste energy in the wrong direction the farther you will be from the special one.
9. Always be honest and true with your words.
10. Write down all the major steps so it will be 'engraved' in your brain.

Anyway, have a good weekend all.

DL

Hey Jester,

I'm ready to listen to anything people have to say even if it's bitter medicine lol. To answer your question, I am not fully asleep; I'm in a drowsy state that's drifting off to being fully asleep.

(Me3--thanks for the laugh)

DL--try sleeping with sandpaper wrapped around your hands.  And sleep on your side.

Hey Alex,

Thanks for the abrasive advice (pun intended). I think I'm going to start rummaging around in my garage tomorrow for some hand-sized pieces of sand paper.

DesertLion wrote on 17 Jun 2011 18:41:


Ah, OK.  If you did not yet fall asleep, then disregard everything I wrote - you don't have that