I wasn't able to combine the 2 threads, but have asked Guard to do it.

Kedusha wrote on 26 May 2011 21:02:


Ok, I combined them...

Why doesn't someone give this man our welcoming post?

Dear Jew, it's not that you don't understand how serious nedarim are... it's that nedarim don't work with addictions - UNLESS they are done in a very smart way. See the TaPHSiC method on our website for more info on how to make Nedarim in a smart way.

Thank you very much, Guard!  I greatly appreciate it.

gggg i never knew there is anything wrong with something crooked... only the head they always told me has to be straight

guardureyes wrote on 26 May 2011 21:17:


Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama   Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!

GYE Program in a Nutshell: (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer).

'Guard Your Eyes' offers a unique approach to helping people by recognizing that there are many different levels in the struggle for "Shmiras Ainayim" and "Shmiras Habris". After studying the experience of hundreds of religious strugglers over the past few years, we put together the suggestions and recommendations that we feel are best for the various levels. We divided the tools, features and services that GYE offers into 8 different levels. This "GYE Program in a Nutshell can help people quickly identify at what level of the struggle they are at, and which tools and features would help them most at their particular level.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into recovery:

1) Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information… We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability, because filters alone are usually not sufficient and they can often be bypassed.

2) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

3) Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here.

4) Post away on this forum! You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

5) GuardYourEyes also offers many free anonymous phone conferences where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See www.guardyoureyes.org > Tools > Phone Conferences for many different options. Our conferences are taking place every day, morning, noon and night… Joining a phone group would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but the daily call will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

6) If you need more general guidance, write to our e-mail helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call our hotline at 646-600-8100.

7) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook". This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "Attitude & Perspective", details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

The second part, "The 18 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

May Hashem be with you!

Now my personal welcome
welcome 

Your problem is most likely not related in any way to mas.....
I'm not a Dr. but the majority of us here -unfortunately- have mas... as much or even much more than you. and we dont have this problem. would it be a consequence we would all walk around with a curved..........    imagine!

So its not related, dont be embarrassed  just go check it out by a Dr. ................just like a stiff neck.............. well almost

In the mean time just hold on tight
You could win this...................together
KEEP ON TRUCKING

Your brother

Thanks for the info and warm wishes!  I truly believe that I have the ability to overcome my taivah, as many others on GYE have.  I'll just have to take it one day at a time.  I know I've come to the right place.

We're with you for the long haul!
Good Shabbos.
Alex

Hi yid, ham'chuneh b'shem "frumguy613"!

If I could speak with you personally (which I'd love to do), I'd say these things:

1- you probably did not cause your disfigurement (heretofore knows as "your private shame");

2- you have far bigger problems than your private shame;

3- the sooner you get your head out of the sand and go to a doctor, the sooner you will get healed both from your private shame and from your lust problem;

4- the big deal you are making about the secrecy regarding your private shame is the way you are running away from growing up and recovering - nothing more, nothing less;

5- you and I are only as sick as your secrets. Yet when you describe "I can't really sneak out to the urologist and when asked where I went, lie to my parents and say I went out with some friends (or can I?)!  I'm just too embarrassed!" shows that you tend to believe that you are better off with secrets. Even if you overcome this and really do go to a doctor about the private issue, I want you to be aware and remember that the privacy trick is your nature, and also perhaps your greatest enemy to recovery;

6- Once you (and I) grow up a bit and move on, you (and I) need to do something for your recovery (and mine), rather than just for your penis (leave mine out of that one, OK?). Penises (and if that is a naughty word to you, that's your problem, not mine!) are important, for sure, as are our arms, legs and other precious parts. Hashem loves it and cares for it just like He cares for all your eyvorim. But this entire obsession has been in your way. Get to work on the real stuff soon, OK?

7- Happy memorial day! Yipeee!  :