I've been meaning to start this thread for a long time and my good friend Zemiros Shabbos made a similar suggestion to me recently.  The koach of tefillah is awesome, yet as the gemara in Brochos says:  ואמרי לה רב ביבי לרב נחמן בר יצחק מאי (תהילים יב) כרום זלות לבני אדם אמר ליה אלו דברים שעומדים ברומו של עולם ובני אדם מזלזלין בהן, which Rashi explains is referring to things like Tefillah.  Ask anyone who has had real success in these struggles and they will tell you that a staple in their arsenal is Tefillah.  One of the things that I learned from Dov early on was to talk to Hashem, during the course of the day.  It works, I have seen it in my own struggles.  Yet, precisely because of its power, the Yetzer Hora tries to get us to be from the בני אדם מזלזלין בהן.  Perhaps if we can give each other ideas to be מתחזק in this area we can tap into the full power of it. 

We typically add personal bakashos in the brachos of r'faenu, shma koleynu, and Elokai n'tzor.  However, after conferring with my rav and reviewing Mishna Brura, I have started adding bakashos to many other brachos.  This forces me to stop and think, instead of going rotely through shmona esrei.  Personal bakashos should be inserted before the last phrase (not immediately before the chasima (closing bracha). 

For example, in hashivenu, I daven for certain people I know who are off the derech; in re'e na, (before ki goel chazak ata), I add "please free Gilad ben Aviva etc. (others in prison)"  In Sim Shalom, (before v'tov b'eynecha) I ask for shalom bayis (between husband and wife, parents and children, children and each other). I still have plenty more to add in Shma Koleynu and in Elokai Ntzor (including healing me from my addiction, fighting the Sutton for us and dulling his attractions, shielding us from the chevlei shel Moshiach, keeping our children from the dangers of the internet and all the media, and shidduchim).  It makes for a long, but personalized amida which I look forward to.

thank you UAJ for another great thread!

Eitan Ashman from Efrat is an emergency paramedic. He has stories to make the most chilling and thrilling books and movies look boring. Here's what he writes about seeing royalty:

"I wanted to share another Magen David Adom story. Yesterday I was sent to Beit Hanassi to take the "princess" of Thailand to the emergency room after she had been in a car crash earlier in the day. Since she is a VIP it was a call for the ICU ambulance even though she had no apparent injuries. While there I was reminded of the Gemara in Berachot (I don't remember where or the  exact text of the Gemara) which tells us we should go after and see how the world treats their king so that we will know how to act in front of our jewish king latid lavo bezrat Hashem. I never really understood the Gemara until yesterday. The respect and awe that her staff showed her was really remarkable. They bow down on all fours whenever she is moving. Everyone from her most senior staff to the drivers of the cars. Their dress is immaculate, no body dares to talk when they are in her presence not even quick emails or bbms. I can tell the Rav that I seriously started to consider my behavior in front of the king of kings Hashem. Am I careful enough when I daven on my dress, how I sit in shul, talking, etc, etc. Hashem was sending a message in yesterday's call that I have a lot to do in my avodat Hashem. Bezrat Hashem I will remember yesterday and try to apply it to my behavior."

from Lazer Beams
lazerbrody.typepad.com/lazer_beams/2011/05/seeing-royalty.html

Thanks ZS for making that wonderful point.  I've made the point in the introduction to the Shalom Bayis thread regarding the principle of בז לדבר יחבל לו.  If a person doesn't accord the proper respect to something (whether its a davar gashmi such as Dovid Hamelech to the garment of Shaul or a davar ruchni such as the Dor of the Cheresh and Maskar that were not careful in birchas hatorah) those things don't provide their protection (hence garments did not warm Dovid Hamelech and the Torah did not provide the protection of preventing the destruction of the bais hamikdash).  The same is true with tefillah, if we don't accord it the proper respect, c'v we can be deprived of its effectiveness and protections.  It boogles my mind to see some of the things that people will do with their blackberries while in shul (I've seen playing games while answering Amen Yeha Shemai Rabba, a Shatz checking his email).  Does someone really thing that such a tefillah is going to have any effect.  As the story you quoted indicates, those that stand before royalty, don't take out their blackberries in her presence.  At the same time I guess I'm no one to talk since it probably boggles their mind that I could even consider looking at porn (and they probably come on time to daven as well).  We all need help.  Let's daven for it (but at the same time show a little respect while we are doing it).

Not to mitigate the actions of people who use blackberries or cell phones in middle of davening, but i want to relate two things i have seen/heard.

A friend who was trying to join SA for the first time met with a SA member. this guy had two cell phones. He explained that one of them is his emergency phone, and he leaves it on vibrate during davening because it can be pikuach nefesh sometimes. Can give us pause when we might rush to pass judgment on someone else.

this one is just for laughs: A friend of mine is a Hatzolah member. He carries his radio around all shabbos. One shabbos he was sent to the amud for mincha on shabbos. In middle of kedusha his radio goes off so he picks it up to his ear to listen. So he is standing there saying Kadosh Kadosh Kadosh etc. all the while listening in on his radio pressed to his ear...

This is what the rebbe's da'as torah is on this one:

bardichev wrote on 01 Dec 2009 18:18:

Over shabbos, I had an insight into two keys to successful tefillah.  I saw from Rav Shimshon Pincus Zt"l he explains why we don't make bakashos on Shabbos using a story about a certain successful fund-raiser who explained that his method of success was due to the fact that he wouldn't approach a gvir and just ask him for money, instead he would research the gvir's background, what city he came from, his family, etc. and then he would come and schmooze with the gvir when it came time to leave he wouldn't ask for money.  The fundraiser would do this several times each time getting closer and closer.  After the fundraiser established a real relationship with the gvir he would ask the gvir for and receive a sizable donation.  The same says Rav Pincus is with Shabbos. Shabbos is about building a relationship with Hashem.  Its not a time to be asking. After Shabbos after we've grown close to Hashem we can then ask and our requests will be more easily answered. Rav Pincus was making a point about Shabbos but he is also telling us a yesod in tefillah. If we learn to develop a relationship with Hashem --  by recognizing His involvement in our daily lives -- when we come to ask oh Him favors He will be inclined to grant us our requests.
But I realized another thing as well. I was reading through the big book stories and there was a line in how "humility is the key" to recovery. It is also a key to tefillah. And the reason is simple. Last week I davened for something and I felt like I had been answered but no sooner had I been answered I felt good for the result quickly forgetting the source of my success. If I don't have humility I can have a great relationship with Hashem but I will lose it quickly when I take credit for the success. (They say a joke that highlights this point). A guy comes to the mall its pouring rain and there is not a parking spot in sight. He's driving around and around nothing opens up. Finally the guy turns to G-d and he says G-d if you find a spot i'll give $100 to charity. Just then right in front of him a car pulls out. The person turns to heaven and says "Never mind, I found one myself."  Humility its the key.

I heard a wonderful vort recently. Someone asked why do we place so much emphasis on techiyas hameisim. Why is it so important that a person's body will be resurrected. Isn't it enough to believe that a person has a neshama that will be rewarded. And even if its important, is it so important that we have to mention it three times a day and within the first three brochos of shemoneo esrei.  Answers the Ramchal:  A person's body works very hard to serve Hashem, whether its dragging yourself early in the morning to daven late at night to learn or working to pay tuition.  By nature the body is lazy (adam from the adamah) and physically it takes a lot of effort to serve Hashem.  Techiyas hameisim is where the "physical body" gets its reward for all the toil it put into serving hashem.  If a person keeps this thought in mind when he says the brocha of mechaya hameisim it will help remind him that he should be using his body for proper things and not c"v issur.

beautiful thread

and as some of you said or alluded to

personalize every tefillah

you,the mispallel,are talking face to face with God

and He is personally listening to you intently

no matter what spiritual level you are in-or not in

you speak to Him with sincerity and He listens,wants to listen,wants to hear you express yourself to Him

tefillah is a great gift to us

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Rav Chaim Vital writes that in the era of the Gemara the primary area that they focused on was Torah learning. But now in ikvesas di'meshicha the primary area of avoda is Tefila.

Rav Shimshon Pincus zatzal, in the opening chapter of She'arim Bitfilah,
ayen sham for an elaboration on the idea

wondering if anyone can help with how to reconcile two ideas regarding tefila.

one is that we ask for things. Most of Shmona Esrei is requests. On the most basic level we ask with the expectation of being answered with fulfillment of our wishes.

the other is that we need to accept Hashem's will. If He deems it fitting for us to be in a given situation who are we to question it?

just to add a little to the discussion.
The Ramchal in Derech Hashem writes that Hashem made a system whereby a person's needs are only provided for if they are requested in tefila.
Rav Akiva Tatz explains that the purpose of shmona esrai is not so much to enumerate our various requests and needs. It is to bring home to us the idea that Hashem is the one who can provide these things. And for us to examine our intentions and motivations in requesting all these items.

Two Types of Prayer

Prayer serves two functions. The first function is to refine character traits and deepen awareness — either for the person praying, or for the one being prayed for. This type of prayer requires tenacity and perseverance, since correction of flawed traits requires extended effort, and usually occurs gradually over time.

For this reason, Moses needed to pray extensively when he prayed for the Jewish people after the calamitous sin of the golden calf. Why forty days? This period is the time it takes for an embryo to develop limbs and become recognizable as a human fetus. The forty days of Moses' prayer indicated a rebirth of the Jewish people, with a new heart and spirit.

There is, however, a second function of prayer. Sometimes the inner emotions and character traits have already been refined and purified. Prayer only comes to put in words that which already exists in the inner soul. In such cases, an extended prayer is unnecessary; even a brief prayer may express many holy feelings. In the case of Miriam, she had already conceded her mistake. Her healing, both physical and spiritual, required only a short, simple prayer.

(Gold from the Land of Israel. Adapted from Ein Eyah vol. I, p. 163.)

Heard a nice message about tefillah recently:  don't make tefillah your last resort rather make it your first choice.