Hi All

I had a tough day yesterday. In fact, I've been finding things difficult for a while now. I have in the past managed 69 and 129 consecutive days. However, recently I can't seem to get through more than just a few days clean.

Anyway, yesterday I was up to day 6 and thought that maybe this time I could make it last. It was a difficult day because I had many opportunities for triggers and falls but I managed to hold on. Even in the evening I held back from acting out by reading the forum and GYE emails and listening to the Shemiras Einayim recordings. Finally I went to bed feeling that I had managed to avoid falling that day. BUT, just before I actually went to bed I remebered one thing that I needed to check on the computer. I came down, checked what I needed to and sure enough, got stuck at the computer and fell 

One can never relax, the Y'H is always waiting to pounce.

I am now trying yet again, day by day.

Thanks to all for all the Chizuk on this site

Giboir

Though you are not expressly asking for any advice here, I really want to thank you for being so openb and honest about what happened. It is a good example for me to remember, be"H.

If you would consider calling someone every evening and every morning just to connect and state what your intentions are for this day. The basic intentions, not everything, and certainly not something out of Chovos haLevovos, the Chumash, or Mesilas Yeshorim - but what your own personal intentions are for this day.
Like, "I don't know what will happen today, but I intend on being clean of any running after lust and especially of any hiding or lying this day. And I hope and pray to You G-d, to please help me remember that, till I go to bed tonight, along with all the other guys who want to remember the same kind of thing."

Having a buddy to do this with you is nice, but I warn you that on the days that he does not honestly care and does not really feel that way, he may very well do the right thing and be honest and admit just that! He may then act out and get all farschmutzed - will you remain clean anyway and keep your own safety/sobriety first (chayecha kodmin applies here more than it does physically, by far) by finding someone else to partner with ASAP?

Or will you get dragged down by his lack of enlightened self-interest? I think you will find the help, for it seems that you are truly interested in giving yourself a fair shot in this life. Besides, it's much more fun than the predictable misery of acting out lust...that never really changes, though the excitement always rekindles it really remains the same sex with self, the same desperation in the search for the perfect image, the same let down and excruciating misery and the same empty hand....   

But real life is awesome!!