I was doing fairly well for a few weeks, but recently, I've been Motzi Zera a few times, and I'm afraid I'm getting back into that habit.
I didn't look at anything online, so at least I'm still doing well in that area, but the human mind is quite powerful...
Anyways, I've been getting back up and trying again, but I need some Chizuk - I'm hoping that by posting (I haven't stopped in within the past few days), I'll do myself some good, and not necessarily from the feedback, just by saying "Here I am, I did something wrong", it seems to help...
Thanks again all for everything, hoping we all have much Hatzlacha going forward!!

I understand some of your pain (as I've experienced some of it myself) and don't know what to tell you. They say around here, "You have give up and let G-d". Let's "jump" and hope Hashem can catch us. (I imagine he's strong enough for both of us.) I don't know the way but maybe together we can stumble across it.

I seem to always crawl back to porn and masturbation, no matter what's going on in my life, good or bad. I just want that feeling it gives me. Hashem can replace that feeling with one of his own, can't he? I hope he's strong enough to do that, or I'm really sunk...

Fell shmell,just get back up again and don't dwell in the depression you feel after a fall.

Hey YB,

If you're falling back into a bad old habit, then the easiest way to break it is to replace it with a good one. Every time you feel the urge to masturbate and look at porn etc, do something beneficial instead.

Also, don't get hung up over the falls. Almost all of us fall at some time or other. After a fall, we have to realise that we can't do anything about them any more. Being depressed is actually delaying and preventing you from doing Tshuva. So don't fall into Satan's trap.

Good luck and KUTGW!

DL