Move away from the computer and take a quick break for half an hour. Go and take a walk in the sunshine.

The urge will rapidly dissipate and you'll be thinking what WAS I thinking? Whatever you do, don't take the first drink because even if you don't fall now, you'll open the door for greater temptation in the near future.

Be strong,

DL

Useless to say,I fell. So I began all kvetching and victimising myself,oh,I am so terrible,such a horrible human being etc. Think we all recognize that. So I said to myself,what am I doing? Just get back up again. Probably the test is not to see if we'll fall or not,but how quick we can rise after a fall.

Fell Shmell!

Keep on Trucking (Walking)!

E

I thought I would reach out today,when I feel I am depressed. Just the whole world feels so tough and nothing has any meaning. Just want to sleep the whole damn day. Life at home is tough and I can't speak with my parents. Yeah,quite a big mess everything.

Dear WWW - how old are you? It's important.

I am turning 20 in a couple of days.

Has this feeling been with you for some time already, or an aberration? There is such a thing as depression, you know.

Besides, if you need more help than what we can give you in this setting, then why not ratchet it up a bit and talk to a shrink or a skilled and smart rebbi? A good one can be a friend to assist you to get on track with real living and out of the blobby useless wallowing and whining we are all subject to from time to time. How about your parents? Are they in the parsha of you being open to them? Sometimes we can be shocked at how wise our parents are, even though we are often convinced that they are very stupid and well....just our parents. They love you (I assumme).

Hatzlocha. You are not alone by a longshot...

Hi Dov,

I've been diagnosed with depression and currently under medication to treat it. However the depression consumes our family very much and is taking the toll on my mom especially. I wish I could speak openly with my parents,but I can't,I just raise these high wall and refuse to let them know anything of what's happening in my life. It's hard and I feel bad about it,but I feel so anxious while around them and I can't even say a word to them.

Well, if you are right, then I think at least you will need to create a few people you do talk with about your loopy feelings. A very important yesod that some people find insulting (and hence, do not ascribe to it) is that feelings are just feelings. They are not reality.

Of course the way we feel about things creates our real view of reality...but that is after the fact. So?
We can stay in that sad reality justifying our failures and whine our lives away...most of us do.

But as the drunk goyim taught me, Hashem has the ability to help us - not to deny our true (yet silly) feelings, but to accept that
1) they are in fact not reality, just feelings; and
2) that the only way to allow Him to do that is to get the heck out of His way. That takes humility - or humiliation. For addicts, the choice is ours.

Slowly and progressively learning how to get out of His way is what the steps are for. Period. And if we insist on being special and having to work these steps by ourselves and are just too ashamed to admit the true exact nature of our stuff to other safe people (like other addicts in recovery, for example) that simply means we have no humility yet. So nothing happens. We sit in our ivory towers in our minds, retain our pristine image, and remain sickos and hate ourselves.

There is a better way.

Hatzlocha.

Dear WWW,

Apparently anti-depressants just make you dopey and totally apathetic, like opium, so I'm not sure it's healthy taking them. Doctors may tell you need them, but most of them will also tell you masturbation is 'healthy and normal'-BullSH*T!. 

You remind me of how I was 5-6 years ago. I don't know what your parents are like, but seriously, my mum was the only one who stood by me through thick and thin when I was at rock bottom. I couldn't have made it without her support. Had I told her about my problem with masturbation when I had been a teenager, my life would have been totally different.......

Anyway, if I were you I would just tell them the problems you have. Being your parents, I'm sure they would want what they think is best for you. I mean, you trust us and we're total strangers! 

KUTGW and don't give up trying to break free from masturbation-I know with 100% certainty that it was my addiction to wasting seed that destroyed my life and made me depressed.

BW,

DL

Hi everybody,yesterday was my birthday and I had a complete mood fall. But I managed to stay away from porn. That makes me feel better. Hope everything is well with you DL.

All the best.

Happy Birthday!  Keep up the great work!

Dear WWW, just curious: did what I posted mean anything of value to you, or did it seem just more gibberrish?

Hey WWW,

Happy Birthday! Well done on staying away from porn, it's not easy, but the freedom you'll gain will be worth the temporary pain. NO PAIN NO GAIN. It's like working out-Arnie didn't become the terminator overnight! It is worth it, and at the end of the day the alternative, which is refusing to work on our addictions just leads to disaster, disgrace, depression, death etc. It's a case of DO or DIE when you're at rock bottom. A lot of D's lol from the DL (v bad joke I know).

I'm pretty gd atm-I have loads of work to do and deadlines to meet, but I feel excited about the prospect of total change of career. Things aren't going anywhere for me at the moment, and my present boss is giving me no end of trouble.......So I'm praying God guides me and helps me to find the right path I should take in life.

KUTGW mate and TC. Have a great weekend!

DL

Hi Dov,

Definitely your post helped,even though there are many new concepts that take time to understand,like humility and being humble and getting out of G-d's way. Sometimes I wonder what this means,getting out of G-d's way? Does it mean to accept everything that G-d wants for me and just be a puppet? Or could you explain it a bit deeper? That's what I am wondering.