Here she is folks. briefly, i have been writing a book on all the inyunim here on GYE, and i am proud to present the first chapter, in unedditted form. If anyone can gain from it, please send them here.
of 6 chapters, this one is the first and is about:

"insanity, what to do when feeling insanity, what to do if you feel like your'e going to die if you don't act out, and more"

although most of the miserable kuntress will iy"h have Torah in it, this 1st chapter is much more angled on common sense and experience, which is ususally more affective for people who are insane than to write complicated maharals about tzimtzum.

this chapter is also presented first in the book, iy"h because it is the one that requires the most immediate attention.

post your ha'aros please. I grow from all of my friends here.

i did not ever intend to compile everything in the torah on this or any other subject, so the sources that you see are just from the things that i chose to review this bein hazmanim.
any sefer i quote, as a rule, i hae gone through the whole sefer.

additionally, i did not write one thing which i did not experience myself

here goes nothing...boy, butterflies in my stomach....here weeee GO!

1) This uneditted kuntress was written for addicts who struggle with things of a sexual nature. For many, recovery on some level is already underway. You may be reading this for pure curiosity, or to gain more perspective on these struggles.  However, it is entirely possible that you may be reading this because you are experiencing insanity and you feel you are about to act out. If so, we are happy to say that we have pre-empted you by writing things for YOU first, since your situation is one that requires IMMEDIATE attention. Although these ideas can help anyone grow, it is YOU who will benefit immediately from them. The rest of the chapters are desinged for all types of recovery, and not limited to that of an immediate nature.
If this describes your current mental state then SIT TIGHT, and promise yourself that you will not do anything until you read this first chapter. Although you may feel that if you do not act out right now you will die or explode, it is NOT true, and you CAN regain your sanity with ten minutes of reading. So trust us on this one, and give it a try. We will adress all these feelings, one by one, in this chapter. Remember, we ALSO have felt what you are feeling now. We only share the things in this kuntress from personal victory or experience. That is why it is extremely possible (probable!) for you to gain from the ideas here. At least raising some of the ideas here can prompt you to feel out your own tool or pathway to regain sanity. If so, then we are happy, because that is really all that we are interested in.


2) It is absolutely false that you HAVE to act out right now. Since you may be thinking that it is just a matter of WHEN, you have basically slated it down to happen on your schedule. However, as crazy as it sounds, it does not have to happen. Although in your present state it certainy FEElS like you need to, however, if we can figure out how to channel those feelings into other places, or properly MANAGE them, then you can stay clean. Simultaneously, you can regain your sanity. In fact, by restoring your sanity, THAT precisely is what will get you to stay clean. That is simply because it is our BRAIN that gets us to act out, not our hands or "other" organs. Sexual stimulation comes from the mind. The gemara says "Ein kishuy elah mida'as". Emotional needs which we are starving to fill, stem from the mind. It is all in the mind. It has become so much of a need that we are thoroughly convinced that it is a NECESSARY REALITY. We will now burst that bubble.


3) First of all, we must take immediate measures to regain our sanity. After that, we can share different ideas in the Torah about insanity to further our education and efforts in this battle.
When we reach insanity, we add to our insanity  by PROJECTING that we will feel this way forever and that we have lost our mind for good. It is one of the scariest fears. In this situation we must hold ourselves together and tell ourselves that this insanity is not permanent and it CAN be healed.  By assuring ourselves that the situation is only temporary, we can set up for a recovery due to several reasons.

A) When we train ourselves to understand that the situation of insanity is only temporary, it helps us feel more in control. We feel so insane because we feel that we have lost it, snapped, cracked, forever to feel out of control. Therefore, tell yourself that WE WILL GET CONTROL BACK SOON, and it will help restore some sanity NOW.

When we tell ourselves that this state is temporary, we seperate the illness from WHO WE ARE and thereby escape despair and loss of hope. Instead of thinking "this is how I AM, and i will always be this way" we can think "right now i have cought a 'cold', but it will pass with the right medicine and a little time like anything cold; I have caught a cold BUT THAT'S NOT WHO I AM".
This tool of "thinking temporary" is something that the Steipler recommended to several people who had reached insanity (Eitzos Vihadrachos Al Pi Kehillas Yakov, Greenwald, page 55, 58, 62,).


4) Now, your body may be raging with energy, with racing thoughts to boot. There are two distinct ways to mitigate this.
A) To keep up with this energy, many people act out as if to let their energy out, to regain sanity. The idea itself of dumping energy is very good; however, we can accomplish this without acting out. We can keep up with this energy by leaving the pc or place of acting out behind and running in a straight line for several minutes at top speed. This will tire you out and leave you breathless. It is extreme, but so is your situation-weren't you about to act out a minute ago and lose control of yourself?
Now, you can continue to walk out the energy and racing thoughts by walking a long time, until the energy has been used up.


5) Most people will not take the above advice. This can be for many reasons, amongst them laziness. However, the main reason may be due to haughtiness and a lack of awareness of where you are holding. Most people who are "about to act out" tend to minimize, paint over, and deny the state that they are in. If they would see a video of themselves as a well liked person, staring intensely at the computer, all edgy, with their eyes bugging out and their fingers twitching, they would readily admit that something drastic like running a few blocks is necessary and appropriate for them. Since no one will show you this video (you hope!) you must show it to yourself. Now.


6) The question in the addictive mind is then raised "why go through all this trouble to avoid acting out this one time? I can just act out now and feel better in two minutes, and I can then re-set up recovery and work from there?"


7) There are many answers to this question. Foremost, acting out is assur deorayssah. However, we will not deal with halachic and religious reasons, because for real addicts like us, they no longer work. We must use reasons that provoke self interest. A person who is "about to act out" is ONLY interested in self-interests, as we will soon learn. He is sitting in front of a computer screen , greedy, starving, and taking from anything he can get. Therefore, he needs to be given a reason that he will WANT. Since he is currently experiencing insanity, he WANTS to feel normal again. Therefore, under this guise we can give the needy addict tips for recovery that he will enjoy. This is not a time for religion, because right now he is not interested in religion. If he was, he would be in the beis medrash, writing a chabura on Perek Eizehu Neshech. Perhaps he would throw open the doors of the holy ark and wrap himself up in prayer, like the Chofetz Chaim would. Instead, he is in intense pain, and is searching for an escape. He is looking for a medicine to help him feel good from all of his troubles and stresses in life. Since he is not interested in religion WHILE he is starving to act out, we will not discuss religion with him. It could be that when this energy is dumped, he will return to being the most religious person youv'e ever met. However, what does his religious nature when he IS NOT acting out have to do with his irreligious nature while he IS running with energy and running to lust? Now, to continue.... .


8) The second method of mitigating the energy is not by moving quickly and draining it like previously, but by moving slowly. That means to say, that while you are raging with energy right now, you can do something slowly with a rythm, to jump onto that rythm. Once you begin to follow a rythm, you can slow down your mind to your body and begin to feel lest restless.


9) The non-religious reason not to act out right now is as follows. An addiction can only be cured by staying away from the object of addiction. This way, the neurological pathways that flash with bright lights and make shrill noises when we see lust will begin to atrophy, and become desensitized. We have to start this process NOW. You will not start it tomorrow, because by acting out NOW you are just showing again your lack of self control in staying away from this self destructive behavior. If your addictive mind tells you that you will just act out now and retart tomorrow, do not listen. It is illogical, and not worth further discussion or rationalization.
Each time you just "let this one roll" you get worse. Although the amount that your tayvos may escalate from today to tomorrow may be pretty managable (in many cases), and may not prompt you to change, it is certainly true that you are habituating yourself more and more to act on your impulses, and not with your freedom of choice. For this reason, you must begin to entertain the idea of habituating yourself to live with self control NOW. The second reason not to act out now and start again tomorrow is because, in %99.9 cases, there is no tomorrow, because each day you will just push it off to the next, like you may have already done 100 times. By doing that, you are pushing off the rest of your life for many months or years.


10) In college, many people are concerned to get their work done earlier so they do not have to shlep on in college for longer time. You should be viewing your life like this. Right now, you may think that the subject of acting out sexualy is limited to the act of mtz"l or promiscuity. This is not true. Recovery from these isolated things means learning how to re-live your entire life, in such a way that you are properly equipped, like the Chofetz Chaim, to deal with stress, by throwing open the holy ark and wrapping yourself in prayer, and not to go lusting to feel better. Therefore, by pushing off recovery which some might think is only related to masturbation and the like, they are really pushing off learning the tools that they can use to live a happier and better life, with better Judaism as well. In fact, we will discuss later on how until we develop self control in our lives, we will only have mediocre, run of the mill Judaism as well.


11) Even if you choose not to listen to this advice, and you decide to act out anyways (not recommended-think of how you will hate yourself a minute later!), at least begin recovery by minimizing the acting out through semi-self control. For example, if you usually do xyz before act-ing out, this time take one away and make the experience less pleasurable, and more in tuned with reality. The point is to do this as a HABBIT. This way, you will HABITUALLY accustom yourself to recovery.
The truth is that this paragraph is entirely irrelevant to everyone in every situation, because there is absolutely no compulsory reason to act out. You have either settled for less in your life, or are not willing to listen to truth. Neither courses of action are very good. Maybe try feeling really good about yourself by taking our advice and not acting out, like we already said.
You may think that this ability to stay clean is not possible for you now, in your situation. I entirely disagree. Every addictive mind, while projecting doom and gloom, assures itself of this. It is false. It is not worth discussing further. Discussion might put the crazy idea into someone's head that it can be rationalized to make certain allowances, like in your present state. The Steipler (above) would warn against discussing things with certain people, because it will make it appear as if there's what to talk about, and there ISN'T. End the dicussion with yourself. Bye bye discussion!


12) Often, we feel so sure of our weaknesses that we say "unless someone pushes me, or inspires me right now, I will act out and do ..... ." This idea is false. You can do things right now to stay clean. The real problem is that you want to justify acting out. Because of this, you want to appear as if the masturbation MUST happen, as if it's part of your nature, unless someone comes and does something to change this arrangement.
"I am making arrangements to look 'forced' before i act out, as if to be able to blame my actions on this "nature" of mine after the fact. Unless you come now and ruin this arrangement, this is what I will do, to feel good about myself."
It is true that on the forums of Gaurdyoureyes.com, people there seek chizuk or advice from others. However, this is either when:


A) there is advice that they did not think of yet, which they need to hear, and they are interested in listening to it and changing


they are very sad or depressed, and need someone else to lift up their spirits, which is what God made friends for


C) they need to gain a better perspective on a current issue in their lives or struggle
It is NOT in order to "arrange" acting out. Here is a little vort on this idea:

The yetzer tov is  likened to a good friend (R' Chaim Vital, Lev David, page 2).                Hence, only WE can choose to listen to his advice not to act out. Nothing will compel us to make the right choice except our own determination. When battling our y'h in regards to wanting to act out, we often feel like unless something else externally will push us in the right direction, we schedule ourselves to eventually fall. Thus, R' Chaim Vital tells us that our yetzer tov is only a good friend, there to offer advice. But he doesn't make your decisions or force you to find an effective way to stay away from falling-only YOU can do that.
We must burst this false reality that the sin MUST happen. It is false, conjured, contrived.
It is worth it to share a story here that we once were part of, that helped us burst this false reality in an unprecented and effective fashion.
A very old man, in his nineties (I recall...) once asked me to help him cross the street, and go into a certain beis medrash in Meah Shearim. I did not know at the time that this would take over 45 minutes. Every two steps, the old yid would need to wait and gather more strength, before taking another two. In addition, this man could not step very far, so each set of two steps got him very little distance. At the point of being in the middle of rechov Yoel, cars started to beep, and wait for us to slowly cross the street, an endeavor that took over three minutes. Next, the curb....to the corner...cross street again, diagnally.....into Karlin Stolin parking lot....to the door....up the 30 stairs...to the farthest table up front. Finally, the yid takes off his Yerushalmi hat and moves his white Ahrele kippa to his liking, open up a gemara, and begins to learn with a chavrusa who looked about 80.
In the parking lot part of this story, I said to him "holy dude, give me a bracha for yishuv hada'as and minuchas hanefesh." The guy said back to me "what's wrong, what's going on?" I told him the difficult tzaros going on and that I had terrible stress. He replied "hakul dimyonot" (it's all in your imagination).  I burst out "it's what?!...it causes me pain and sleepless nights and anxiety attacks... . The holy yid just repeated himself "hakul dimyonot." I was frustrated. I didn't understand.
It took me years to begin understanding this story. You see, this old man did not have to learn across the street for any reason. I am sure the chavrusa could have come to his house. Second, this man could have used a wheelchair and no one would bat an eyelash-if it takes him 45 minutes to get into the bm across the street, then he certainly sounds like a perfect candidate for a wheelchair.
And then I understood.
In this man's world, there is no "I can't." He could use a wheelchair, but he can also walk. He CAN walk. That is not called "I can't." He taught me that "I can't" is only when the legs don't work, but not when it takes 45 minutes of groaning in pain. That's "I can."
There is no such thing as "I can't hold back from acting out." Since you can still do other things to manage your energy, like those suggested here, you CAN. There is no more "I can't". It is a filthy invention of modern societies, who gain wait in front of TV sets, with no ambitions, goals, or self worth.


13) It is worth mentioning how the Chazal and other sfarim were very aware of addictions and the insanity that they bring.
The medrash (Tanna Dbei Elyahu 15, 28) says that a person with an addiction to alchohol ruins his life IN THIS WORLD and the next.
Rebbe Nachman writes more directly in our common language today "lust addiction can bring a person to real insanity" (R' Nachman, Likutei Eitzos, bris 39). (The Tanya (Perek 17) says that the people who habbitually sin  lose control over their actions. "Their hearts are no longer in their hands." This is also a gemara in Brachos (In Tanya, Perek  )  that says "rashaim Yetzer Harah shoftam," people who habitually sin ARE RULED BY the Yetzer Harah. eyin sham.)


14) There is an amazingly deep medrash found in Tanna Dbei Eliyahu 15, 31) that says that just like the Angel of Death is never satisfied, even if he could kill the whole world, so too those that are addicted to alchohol are likewise never satisfied BY THEIR NATURE.
There may be two importants points in addictions here:


A) It is NATURAL for the addict to not ever be satisfied. That sounds like a pretty depressing endeavor to me- to try something that is naturally garanteed to never work. Unless you are a wizard who can alter this nature, you are stuck in this too, so quit while your'e ahead, and start your recovery now.


The comparison of an alchoholic could probably have been compared to a myriad of other things. The reason the alchoholic is compared to the Angel of Death is simply because they both have the same thing in common-they both murder, destroy, and kill. Don't kill yourself with self-destructive addictions-get help. Don't kill your self esteem, or shalom bayis, or lose your job, or commit a crime to someone else that will ruin their life and yours-start your recovery now.


15) The insanity of lust addiction has killed people before as well. Here are some extreme cases found in chazal:
Eliyahu Hanavi (Medrash Tanna Dbei Eliyahu, 18, 64) once come to a city, and heard that the Yeshiva rebbi there, his family, and all of his talmidim died. Eliyahu began to weep over them. A malach appeared to him and said "you shouldn't be crying over them like that". Eliyahu asked him "why not? Didn't they all study the Torah, the mikrah, the mishna...?" The malach replied "they died because they were involved in disgusting acts of lust and things they never should have involved themselves in...and they damaged themselves and did not even realize it until it was too late and they died".
The Rambam (hilchos deyos, 4, 19) mentions several things that are not good for one's health from excessive sexual behavior. Aside from those things, we should be reminded that this pleasure does not occur in a vaccuum-it is also accompanied with insanity, stress, anxiety, ocd, depression, sadness, emptiness of life, and terrible psychological pain. I do not know how all the people in this story died, but it seems possible to partially understand this story in  in light of all the terrible things that we get crushed and pulverized from in lust addiction. This community lusted themselves to death.
The gemara (Sanhedrin 75a) recounts a story of a man who lusted for a particular woman, to the point of getting seriously ill. The doctors told the Chachamim that unless the man could have relations with this woman, he will die. The Chachamim forbade this for the various reasons brought in the gemara there.
These are to accounts in Chazal of how people lusted themselves to the point of death.


16) What is interesting to note on the previos gemara sanhedrin is that the gemara there had two views about whether the girl in the story was married or not. According to the view that this girl was single, the gemara asks "why can't he just go and marry her according to halacha, and then he can satisfy his lust disease?"
The gemara's answer is fascinating: From the time the Beis Hamikdash was distroyed, the enjoyment of sexual relations was transferred to people who commit forbidden sexual relations. Therefore, by marrying this girl, he would not be satisfied enough to mitigate his lust disease; only the appeal of having relations when it was forbidden was enough to cure him, and that was ruled assur by the Chachamim.
From this gemara we see that there are different levels of lust; the man in the story certainly could have gotten married act acted out as well, but the problem was that it was not STIMULATING ENOUGH for where he was holding in his lust addiction.
The Gra (Even Shleima, ) says that once a person lusts enough on a particular level, it no longer becomes stumulating to him and he needs a new level of fantasy to medicate himself. Thus, the Gra says that the addict then treads into more dangerous territory, where now the things that stimulate him are unnatural, such as same sex, incest, rape, or pedophilia. This is a very dangerous position to be in.  If you see yourself having reached this level of lust, you must get help immediately. Although you may not necessarily touch anyone today or tomorrow (but you might?...) the seeds have been planted, because you now have such an attraction. The next time you experience RID you may look at ie. men/little girls on the internet. From there, men/little girls will become triggering to you, compounding your problems further and driving you insane.  Triggers will bush your buttons countless times a day, until it will begin to signifacantly chew into your life. It can also ruin relationships, such as with your triggering boss, friend; even family members like a daughter can cause triggers. The addiction will only escalate, like all addictions do.
Therefore, with this Gra in mind, we must stop NOW, while it is only half insane, before it becomes unbelievably insane .
The way we can bring down this hyper-lust escalation is by staying away from any lust and triggers. This work must start right now. The quicker you get into this habbit, the quicker you will heal. By staying away from lust, our neurological pathways will atrophy and desensitize over time. This concept, plus the idea of lust escalation that was mentioned by the Gra, can be found in the following medrash. In Tanna Dbei Eliyahu (15, 26) it says that if a man and wife were to be together in relations all the time, the man would stop being stimulated by her and begin to be moess bah, disgusted by her. If so, people would stop havng children. Therefore, God made the laws of niddah so that the wife should once again become beloved to her husband like the day he had married her.
From this medrash you can see a few things:
A) by being aroused by the same thing too much consecutively, you can lose interest. According to the Gra, the man did not lose all interest in sexuality. He merely needs to upgrade his stimulus (which is forbidden, because it involves relationships outside the marriage, etc.)
by staying away from the wife for a couple of weeks, the stimulus level can go back down, thereby creating a new attraction to one's wife, as if he was to be with her the first time when they got married.
(I love midrashim!)

Similarly, in the medrash (Tanna Dbei Eliyahu 9, 16) it says that when a man marries a beautiful women, he has desires for her. The moment she becomes less attractive, he begins thinking that he'd rather dump her and marry someone else. This is because his level of lust and her beautiful looks were a suitable match when this couple first got married. Once her looks changed and the man's level of needs were no longer met, he began a new search to find what will match his needs for ta'avah, to satisfy himself.
So we see how each ba'al ta'avah has a lust level that he wants to meet-if he loses it in his spouse, he will plan to find it elsewhere; we also see that by experiencing it too much, it no longer stimulates, and he must find something more extreme to create that sensation; we also see that by staying away from something that he is no longer stimulated by can bring down his level of lust, to be reattracted to what he was originally stimulated by.
(This can esaily launch into a discussion about how marriage does not help the lust addict in any way, but this is not the topic of this chapter.)


17) We are focusing on insanity so much because the key to recovery is going to be by adding coolant to our brains and learning how to think better and regain sanity. Our stresses and sexual stimulation come from our minds.  If we could only learn to use our minds properly and care for them properly, we would not NEED to run to lust, since our stressors would be managed in a healthier way or diminished. Here is a vort about the role of our minds in the struggle of this addiction:
The Tanya (Perek 26) says that it is IMPOSSIBLE to conquer the Yetzer Harah while living in a mental state of laziness, sadness, and a dull heart. He can only begin to be successful if he starts living with alacrity, joy, and an open heart. The Tanya continues to see that this necessary state also EXCLUDES even the SLIGHTEST TRACE of anxiety and sadness.
All this is true because of a big rule that the Tanya sets down there, as follows. The cardinal rule is that the true service of Hashem is likened to a physical wrestling match; this is what our struggles are as well-a wrestle between the Yetzer Harah and Yetzer Tov, who both battle to rule over our mind and body. THEREFORE, just like in a physical match, the person who is depressed and sluggish or gripped with fear will not properly be able to fight with all his concentration and skill, so too with this wrestling match.
Our mind and body are the tools that were given to us to fight the yetzer harah with. If we are in a mental state that is not the most conducive to such a match, then we cannot possibly exploit our full efforts or skills. From personal experience I can share that simcha is the most powerful tool i have ever used, letting myself constantly fill up from it like a car from gas. The nature of being in this world is that we get sad quickly, and so it is necessary to constantly fill up ourselves with more gas, just like a car. When we see a chasan, we see how his happiness allows him to physically exert himself and dance way beyond his normally exerted strength. Similarly, we all know that a happy and relaxed person can learn or daven better than someone whose mind is always busy with thoughts of sadness and worry.
In martial arts, a person can train for many years to hone his fighting skills. However, if he does not also train to be calm and confident in the ring, he will crumble from fear and then get beaten up, despite his advanced training. Essentially, even the best fighter is only powered by his own brain. So too, our avodas Hashem all comes down to our brain. If it is not free and available to withstand blows of stress and critisizm properly, or it is not free to work the steps that he needs to take in recovery, then he cannot achieve any level of signifacant recovery. He will just get beaten up with more and more relentless blows of anxiety and guilt.
To reduce this concept to one sentence-a person's recovery is to recover his brain.


18) Here is a vort from the Gra that deals with the feeling of insanity and how we feel that if we don't act out, we will go crazy:
Most of us addicts are under stress or depressed from life's various challenges. We use lust as a way to survive by escaping reality into a world of fantasy and pleasure. When we have reached a point of guilt or insanity and want to stop, we often have a fear that we cannot stop because (although this sounds crazy) if we stop it'll be bad for our health and we will fall apart. We claim this absurdity because we were actually dependent on lust to survive. It IS true that without lust, we WILL fall apart-unless we can be shown what other way there is to survive as well. So the truth here is complicated-while it IS true that without lust we cannot survive, at the same time, we can survive without lust by taking on a new way to deal with our stress. The Gra (Even Shleimah 2,11) says indeed that at this point the yetzer harah tells a person that it would be bad for his health and sanity to let go of his ta'ava lust. However it is the calling of the yetzer harah, because like we said, there are healthy ways TOO to survive from, and it is up to us to explore those options and exploit them. To summarize, it comes out that it is the yetzer harah telling us that we can ONLY survive by lust, while our job is to plug our ears from his claim and search for a healthy and positive way of recovery instead. There IS one, and we must find it.


19) The general idea of this chapter has been that we must recover from insanity first, and treat our minds properly, in order to shake this addiction and begin to live in a happier and healthier way.
Accordingly, what seems to be a major player in this game of addiction is RID and stress. By learning how to minimize the stress, it will be easier for us to recover from this addiction and begin the rest of our lives.
Therefore, one of the first and foremost goals for us is to constantly be vigalant about our RID, and to identify, exploit, and minimize it.


20) There can be many ways  to minimize stress . Firstly, if you have had a traumatic background or current difficult experience (ie. lost job, divorce, yeshiva's not going well, etc.), you will need to exploit that and go for therapy and the like. This type of tool is one that helps overall in a great way. However, on a day to day basis, there are many smaller tools that will help as well. One smaller tool can be to live within some loose sort of schedule. Eating lunch whenever we want and catching a mincha whenever we want is the type of behavior that gets our mind to keep racing the whole day, constantly planning how to fit in your work and when. Your mind will not have rest from this way of thinking. This is essentially a lack of structure and self control in regards to our time. If we could accustom ourselves to living in a structured day, our minds would be able to relax at the various intervals in the day, ie. on the way to shul, etc. It does not need to be occupied with planning and planning the rest of the day. This concept is also found in sefer Kriah Hakdosha, page 11.
Another type of small tool would be to habbituate ourselves to working until 5 minutes before we have to go, and then stopping. If we continue the unhealthy customof working until the last second and then working a few minutes overtime before the next activity, then we again find ourselves bereft of time for our minds to relax. Instead, we can habbituate ourselves to working until 5 minutes before we have to ie. leave, thereby leaving for our brains five minutes of rest.
An additional type of tool of a different nature is to work better/learn better. For example, the Ba'al Shem Tov says (Tzava'as Rivash 28) that for a person for whom it is difficult to learn a particular subject, he should habbituate himself to learn several lighter subjects, and to cycle them. This way, he will never burn himself out too much from one type of difficult learning.
Another tool is to learn how to direct your thoughts in a healthier way. Many people who struggle with lust are fortunate enough to know that by "fighting" with the thoughts, it can only make it worse (this will be discussed in a later chapter). So instead of fighting, they stop fighting on a concious level, but really, on a deeper sub concious level, they are actually still fighting the thoughts. So we can learn how to "really not fight" while we are not fighting, and this will save us tons of stress and RID. This can be accoplished through acquiring lots of positive thinking, and will be discussed later,iy"h.


21) This is a vort about the necessity to maintain happiness and joy constantly, in order to dispel RID and depression, and thereby recover:
Desires for lust come because we are depressed. Therefore, for a person struggling with this addiction, it is of utmost importance to learn how to be happy, to dispel depression,thereby removing this "need" for lust (R' Nachman, Sichos Haran 129). This is why many people on the Gaurdyoureyes.com forums frequent the "Just having fun" thread, or post good humored jokes; because it is part of recovery. Although this simcha is not a real simcha of dveykus, it is very important to always maintain in order to keep yourself a rythm of hapiness. This way you will be equipped to meet the challenges that pushed you into this addiction in a healthier way. You will then be more in control to approach it with greater bechira to overcome the impulse to self medicate with lust and other bad habbits.


22) Here is a deeper look from the Gra at lust in general, and how insanity is what motivates us to get help, while a general problem with ta'avah self control does not; at the same time the general problem of self control is what creates the whole issue of chemda insanity to begin with:
The Gra (Even Shleimah 2,3) says that even in aveiros and tamei actions, some are much worse than others. He writes that lust and ta'avah can be broken into two categories-Ta'avah, self-pleasuring habbits, and Chemda, a beserk craving to attain your ultimate fix.
Ta'avah can be like looking around in the street at what wer'e not supposed to do, without the restlessness. Chemda can be described as the "restless desire" to get a better sight of someone in the street, or to find something really pleasuring on the internet.
Of the two types, the Gra says that Chemda is much worse, since it makes our lives unmanagable and does not let us rest even in this world.
Ta'vah only makes our lives unmanagable in the afterlife
Because of the difference in nature between Ta'avah and Chemda, the Gra says that Ta'avah needs much more attention. He writes that everyone will come to the forum,etc. because their houses or lives are falling apart, and they are reaching insanity, but almost NO ONE was as concerned when they were taking peeks at a chasunah (while looking really frum).
So it comes out that obviously, when struggling with Chemda insanity, we must get help immediately, to save our lives.
At the same time, we must double and triple our efforts in the area of Ta'avah, since it IT THE ILLNESS ITSELF, with Chemda being the symptom (thank you me3), for if one would not desire it, he wouldnt crave it.
Ta'avah is difficult to surmount for three distinct reasons (Gra there):
1) it does not cause restlessness
2) it is implanted in our nature from childhood (every baby wants more juice)
3) Ta'avah is slightly needed in everyday life, such as when eating to survive, or in marital relations (but not more than necessary for body and soul!).
The Gra (there) finishes that one who tries to overcome lust ta'avah is like one who is trying to take a city AND leave all int's inhabitants alive, which requires atremendous self-control and honesty, while things like surmounting anger is more like killing a single opponent, which merely requires good gevurah and fighting skills.

of course, in finished form, it will be much easier to read, don't worry.

there is an emoticon in #8 of a guy with sunglasses on. this was a complete accident. we are sorry.

last, when i type posts, the screen often jumps in a way that i cannot see what i am writing. it becomes a very complicated process to make paragraphs in the long posts, which i almost always faithfully do,
because i cannot see where the cursor is.

if only that was fixed.....

tzaddik90/Special Weapons And Tactics wrote on 06 Apr 2011 08:31:


Seriously Avi, I do love teasing you!

Chaylach Le'Oiraysa Chavivi!

if u edit it for free i'll be mochel the hug

I copied the whole kuntress into a Word file and read it all. It's a treasure trove of good ideas/vertlach and perspective. I think this can be a valuable resource for people...

I even began to edit it as I went along, just to make it a bit more readable... I may bring excerpts of this kuntress in the chizuk e-mails. But in order to do that, I would need to find sections that are not too long, only one or two paragraphs each - that contain an important insight or perspective on their own (without necessitating the reader to read more to understand). If you want to help me divide up your kuntress into such "self-contained" pieces, I can try and bring some excerpts in the chizuk e-mails.

Yasher Koach and keep up the good work!

tzaddik90/Special Weapons And Tactics wrote on 06 Apr 2011 11:59:


I only do pro bono work for Guard. 

And even if you're moichel the ghu hgu ugh guh uhg hug, I'm not!  >

looking forward to reading it
if you don't hear from me for a few days it's because i got buried under piles of paper

tzaddik90/Special Weapons And Tactics wrote on 06 Apr 2011 08:42:


imtrying25 wrote on 24 Feb 2010 21:37:

Tzaddik, I read through most of it and it looks good.  I loved the old man story.  Keep it up.

Yosef Hatzadik wrote on 06 Apr 2011 15:51:



here's what works for me:

I place the cursor at the bottom of the textbox (the big white box where you enter text)
The cursor changes to a double arrow.
I can then enlarge the text box as if it were a window.

world wrote on 07 Apr 2011 02:54:


Which browser do you use??

It doesn't change into a double arrow on my screen!

But I just realized that by putting my mouse to the bottom right corner of the text box I can enlarge the box!!!



WOW!!!!

I just learned another of the nice feature of the SimpleMachines Forum!!!

wow, boruch hashem, by writing my kuntress many more people know how to enlarge their textbox, thank the maker