today i realized i never notice when I conquer my y'h

only when i lose... then i get depressed.

because when i win, my mind tells me it was not a win.. it was just an easy day... i was lucky...
or i don't even notice that i overcame anything because nothing happened!
so i dismiss it completely.

im guessing this is not good. and i should see the good times

like today, when i felt an urge to masturbate so i quickly left my apartment and have not gone back there all day yet.

i guess that would be a win... but the day is not over yet so i feel this battle is not done...until i fall. whether its today or tomorrow or in 10 days. to me its 1 long battle till i fall.
because i never see the good side.

s4nh

every hour (i should say every second) of not acting out of being sober is considered a big win. no matte what the reason is should it be just because it was impossible to do it..
i would say that every hour or so -no matter what when where- you should pause for a moment and.... congratulate yourself for the clean hour, yes i did it, im great awesome gevaldig im a hero   


make it your mindset
we need chizuk more then everything

keep on trucking

s4 -

i know how you feel.
felt the same way.

come join us tomorrow - special class (see the Stop the buzzing thread)
we will be dealing with exactly this topic.

hope to see you there

dov.ii