Hi,
BTW this is a letter more to myself.
I've been trying to stop for so long. I've never been successful. I know it's wrong. I know it makes me depressed afterwards. I know it's stupid and I know how happy I would be if I stopped.
And after I fall, I'm good for a few days.
Then when the guilt has worn off, and the opportunity presents itself, the yetser horah strikes. Inevitably, he wins.
I don't know what to do anymore, but enough is enough. I'm not taking it anymore. This is going to be the time that I stop once and for all. I am not going to do it anymore. period. end of story. it's just not something that I do anymore. This is a new me and the new me just doesn't do that.
B"N I'm going to try to post every day for the next 90 days. I haven't posted much before but I will try now.
Please Hashem give me strength to pass this test which I have failed so many times. Please forgive me for the innumerable amount of times that I have fallen. I regret what I did and I am sorry. It was wrong and I sinned.