Hey all

1 - Are the two mutually exclusive? GYE can help with what you describe, I think
2 - Perhaps, though you gotta decide on a plan of action, and DO it
3 - What you describe resonates with me, though perhaps not as extreme; I suspect that you too are describing it worse than the real metzius is....

One guy's 2 cents....

7!

Hey! That's so nice of you to keep track on me YsefHatzadik!
Thanks! By all of us on Simches.. 

Imma have to amend

If she only looks good because she's standing next to me, I must look pretty bad. 

(Of course it's a joke. A loving moment that could have been mistaken awkward).

Advice for first question I dont have. Try out what SSSL said.
As for your second question, I did that before I was married. Still led to masturbation. Not worth it.

Hi all - 1st post for me!

I've struggled for a long time - with what? That’s what I’m confused about. 

There are two types of people who struggle with porn. (My opinion)

The first type lives a normal life. They have jobs, hobbies, relationships, and a general sense of purpose. Their struggle is with lust and urges. They’re attracted to others and / or  are constantly turned on, and can’t always hold themselves back. Porn is their outlet. For them, the battle is self-control and containment. 

The second type is different. (I fall in this category)

I wake up with no drive or purpose. No desire to move forward. I love my wife and kids, but marriage is work, relationships are hard, and I don’t trust easily. Depression, apathy, and anxiety cloud almost everything.

So to cope with the darkness and hopelessness of nearly everything, I binge. Sometimes it’s food. Sometimes it’s YouTube. Sometimes it’s movies/tv. Sometimes it’s porn. 

All roads lead to the same place: a heavy sense of dread, guilt, and hopelessness. It’s a loop. I feel empty, so I binge. I binge, so I feel worse. And around and around it goes.

Im not saying either one is easier or harder. Both are struggles. 

here are my questions:
A - am I in the right place? Is GYE where I should be? Or should I (somehow) get a life which would then solve the porn issue?
B - is this me just overthinking things instead of taking action?
C - what type are you?

Just tonight I started connecting with feeling good about myself as a person, since my humble streak started.
I think this obssession and lust stuffed up my ability to feel good about myself. 

I'm just sayin that I felt the extra סייעתא דשמיא today, thank you!!! 

I'm also just sayin that if there is anyone I know that I could have pictured spending the time davening for all your brethren at the Kever it would be you! There ain't many like you, what a friend!! We're all so lucky to have you as part of this best family ever!!

BIG HUG,
מנוחת הנפש

Hey there, congrats on taking this huge step of posting!!! For many it was the first step towards true freedom.

About your thoughts I don't really have advice on how to stop them, but I can tell you that if you are not currently watching then slowly but surely these thoughts - which usually are triggered by the pornography we have flowing through our blood - should slow down a lot. Not to say you will never get them but they should come way more often.

Please stick around and keep us posted. Read some other stories that connect with you. It can be really helpful.

Hatzlacha Raba!

Day #11 today was one of those easy days. Nothing much really. I had a few thoughts but listen I am a healthy human being and that's how hashem created the world.I really can't believe that I am up to day 11. It feels like it is a dream come true after so many times promising that it is the last time, it finally came true. Thank you once again to the GYE family for your countless resources. It really helps me out. Instead of scrolling through some silly video feeds, I am scrolling through the GYE video library.
"I am building a life I don’t need to escape from."

Hey it is my first time posting here I have been struggling since I was 11 and I have two questions. I am starting my Shana Bet and I realized last year that my thoughts would take me over a lot more since i did not have access to a computer in Yeshiva so whenever I tried to focus in shiur I would get inappropriate thoughts and it really is messing with me spiritually and mentally. Does anyone have advice on how to control these thoughts aside from hesech hadaas because I tried that and although it works sometimes it is only one plan so I would like more strategies on fighting these thoughts. Secondly although I am not in shidduchim just yet I am approaching that tekufa in life and was thinking is it healthy or unhealthy to imagine what my future wife will be like since thinking about her might stop these thoughts. If anyone has advice i would really appreciate it!!!

maybe I'm naive(I'm single) but posts like this should make us stop looking at the selfish women on screens and start caring about the relationships that matter

BenHashemBH wrote on 25 Aug 2025 22:23:

This sounds more like a loving moment

Interesting I had issues with my filter so I installed the appblock app to patch up some loopholes from my filter and it really helps they have a few options to make it very strict