Markz wrote on 21 Jun 2017 22:53:

Hi marks, I love people like u, as for people like you I'll get out of my rut

cordnoy wrote on 21 Jun 2017 22:52:


You. Cordnoy, you're something else.
Thank you for the laugh.

Now that was hard
Now the problem is its not refined to write such a thing, well this notion  is extremely funny like I wrote before, that to do the act I do do but to write suddenly I become refined so the conclusion is that this is from the yh  or in ur words it's what's holding me back from recovery 
on the other hand however what's happening here is that I'm disconnecting this nisayon of viewing porn from my upbringing which says that the more refined words a person can use the better, b/c words have power and there are lots of more reason for that ideal, (I'm specifically not saying disconnecting from my religion) just like I'll not yelled at someone in the street f.. U although I would like to and I view that man so, so why would I treat myself any different?now maybe for recovery purposes I should use those words.

i would like to say I big THANKS for all those who take off from there time to reply to my thoughts and to gye for putting up such an incredible website.

Re: Addict liprokim (for specific days)

If gye website is split and 1 is allocated for your friendly type it will probably be cheaper to maintain as it will only be open on the 3rd Monday of every month

Then for the truly anonymous among us, there will be a truly anonymous website which will not be announced anywhere

More to come iyH

Michael94 wrote on 21 Jun 2017 22:47:

A+ for effort

A+ for honesty and humility

C- for spellin'

I view porn and masterbate while watching 

Michael94 wrote on 21 Jun 2017 19:26:

There are those who might say that you shouldn't expect to recover until you can actually write, "I view porn and I masturbate while watchin'."

JustJust sayin'.....

Hi chaver, nice post, thanks.

Not sure exactly what you mean by counterphobia, but I think it is a thing I have written and spoken about for GYE over the years. Thanks for sharing that.

I just felt you might want to know that if you are interested, you can email me to discuss recovery that many hundreds of frum yidden the world over are doing for addiction in the area of sexual acting out. I am bH clean one day at a time since 1997, deep in the trenches working with fellow addicts who are newbies (including many chabadniks, satmerers, yeshivishe kolel guys, mechanchim, businessmen, etc, etc, in EY and everywhere else) and would be happy to share what I've been given (sobriety) with you if you are interested and think you might actually be an addict. 

Hatzlocha!

- Dov

dms1234 wrote on 21 Jun 2017 18:26:

Hi dms123! 
I thank you for being here for me.
its %100 true what u wrote that for me it's shameful to write down exactly what's the problem and sharing it but it has to get done, b/c it's kinda funny if I don't, for to do the action the shame doesn't prevent me (the shame is routed in the fact that I can't be loyal, in control to myself to my religion and yes i say religion) so why when it comes to writing it down  would the shame prevent me? So the conclusion is that's the עצת היצר. now let's be clear that the shame isn't the fact that I'm sharing it with others, simply b/c they don't know my identity, on the other hand there is element of ביטול, as u put it I need to be honest with myself and others here and I'll take ur advice seriously and now for others to deal with someone else's issue it involves a great amount of bitul.


Now as for ur question of what's the nature of my actions, I view p.. (I still can't get myself to write the full word although when I check it up i can write it) and that follows mas.. , now I wouldn't mas... Without viewing p.. So it's a package deal

Also as you pointed out a good filter is not the end all be all answer, because life is complex and there are other places where you can be challenged( example friends laptop or tv in a hotel, etc. ).  Therefore if you have not done so yet, would highly recommend going through the GYE handbook and the Fortify Program. fortifyprogram.org/
Hatzlacha  

I'm sorry, but what is exactly your problem? Now, for me honesty is the key here if I really want to get better. You don't have to share with me, or anyone on this forum, perhaps with no one (although i highly recommend it as it reduces the shame of what we have done). Did you look at porn, masturbate? Both? For me, I need to honest, ruthlessly honest as to what i am doing/did and what am thinking?

For example, yesterday i saw women in a bathing suit a few times and I called someone up and shared it to them. I told him "there is this really attractive here, i saw her a couple times and I really want to keep looking at her. I feel the lust. It feels like i just induced opium. I want more." I try to be very honest with myself and what I am feeling. Lying is what got me in this mess in the first place. 

Its just a suggestion but it works. If you want to share more you can message me. 

Michael94 wrote on 21 Jun 2017 11:36:

Whats up Michael94!
I think it would be a good move to get accountability/reporting software, that way even if you convince your friend to unblock the internet, you will still have the accountability/reporting software running and he will see everything that you do when your online. So even if he unblocks the computer you wont be able to get away with it. 
Truth is in addition to accountability software, would also strongly recommend finding a way to make sure that the internet can not get unblocked. I love the idea Hashem Help Me wrote above.
Hatzlacha!

hi welcome
you seem very motivated that's good
one thing you said you want a wife like instead of masturbation or something like that
it doesn't work like that if you are an addict you have to kick the addiction marriage won't help
(me and many others have tried)
good luck

cordnoy wrote on 21 Jun 2017 13:07:

2665....

cordnoy wrote on 21 Jun 2017 13:01:

2664....