Thank you for sharing. The reality is that i am powerless over the first drink. Yes, there are temptations but when i start soaking in some lust, i am powerless. Only God can save me. I am an addict. I need to constantly check my self. "Daniel, what is going on? How are you feeling? Are you angry? Are you afraid? A lot of times i escape my emotions and head on a downward spiral to lust. Then i'm a goner.

Feel free to email: dms1234ongye@gmail.com

Hi 

I feel fortunate to have discovered this website. Finally, I see light at the end of the tunnel. 
I have been struggling with porn addiction and some peeping for more than 10 years.
I think that the support groups and the resources that this website provides can help me overcome my struggles.

Not sure exactly your issues, but i am an addict so lust will always be there if i am not working my program of recovery. I am powerless over it. It controls me, it makes my life unmanageable. Only God can take it away. I cant win. I am tired of fighting, of battling it. I always lose. Instead I let God deal with the lust and work my program of recovery

Any trick that involves my will, like say, leave a shiur on when i am going to sleep so that i will be distracted, doesnt work for me. I am powerless. I need God's help. There are many recovery tools that i need but they dont exactly revolve around removing the temptation. For example: doing inventories or meditating or calling my sponsor. 

When i feel that i am lusting definitely getting it out into the light helps and also i am being honest so that does cool the temptation and lust but unless i figure out what exactly is wrong: fear, anger, another lust is waiting right around the corner. 

Tricks sound to me like i am using my will. I am an addict. My will doesnt help. Maybe you or others tricks work. That could be all you need, i need a whole emotional, spiritual upheaval to help me recover. 

When i work my program, i do not get tempted. Its a nes, an incredible miracle.

Workingguy wrote on 06 Jul 2017 18:26:

Thanks bro!

​I'm in and out these days.... no specific reason though, just reg addict behavior lol, here for a few weeks then a few months off....

getthere wrote on 06 Jul 2017 15:06:

yes, the lust is for na..d women, in all kinds and forms of imaginations, and i still know its just lust and not real, and even without watching and looking after them. and its tough, and thats my test here.

Shivisi_Hashem wrote on 03 Jul 2017 16:09:

Sorry for my ignorance but what do you lust for then?

farblunjet wrote on 06 Jul 2017 05:34:

Dear FB-Jet

1. How do you know there is no cure for that? There actually may be!
2. How do you know we can cure lust tendencies without dealing with emotional issues which you've mentioned previously?

This article by Rabbi Dr Benzion Sorotzkin is a must read!
Guardyoureyes > Articles > Psychological-factors-in-Sexual-Acting-Out

But socializing is stressful for me. so either way i'm screwed. 

why am i on this site? because i'm trying. but don't have much hope. 

after about 5 days the melancholy feeling rolls in, i just feel so ....

then....

don't have energy to do anything. 

I know i have other issues, but there is no cure for that.

Welcome
thank you for sharing your story. I hope you will stay here and get better soon, this really helps. The slacking of and coldness to Mitzvos hangs together with this addiction, so once you try to get this more under control the geshmack might just as well come back as a side effect.
Hazloche

Day #8

B"H I passed Day #7 and Today is Day #8 !!!

Today is number #8, I had a clean day yesterday, at night is tough, but I’m managing,

The interesting part is, that at day time, I’m doing fine, I’m not struggling at all, I’m busy at work, I don’t have that much time to think about anything other than work, (I used to have more time for porn then work, but now it’s the opposite, thank you GYE…..) but when I come home after work, wife and kids are not home, there is where my problem starts, and after a lot of thoughts, I decided, that my issue is not lust! and not addiction, its bad habit, I am an addict, and bad habit might be the definition of addiction, but I feel, that its not the same, it’s more of habit, that when my wife is not home, I have to act out, I have to get occupied with those activity’s, and I think that a habit is easier to work on, then to work on an addiction…. I don’t know, will see as time goes by..

Last night I couldn’t fall asleep, no clue why, maybe because of lust? maybe, but finally when I did fall asleep, after an half an hour a fly bzzzzzzed in my ears, and it wake me twice, so my partner sent me this:

אמר רב, יצר הרע דומה לזבוב, ונראה לבאר, שדימו את היצר הרע לזבוב משום שבשונה משאר החיות, הזבוב חוזר שוב ושוב להטריד את האדם למרות שהוא מסלקו בכל פעם, כך יצר הרע חוזר שוב ושוב להכשיל את האדם,

Hashem, thank you, for helping me to survive, thanks to my best partner, and thank you all of you on GYE, I’m clean only because of you, it has nothing to do with me… I’m powerless, I wouldn’t be clean today without your help, I’m very happy that I’m part of this chevrah, without you, I wouldn’t be where I’m today.

Today is Day #8, and Today only, it’s the best & easiest way to recovery, when I focus on Today only, looking backwards is like walking up the hill, it looks depressing, so much more to go up, irs hot, sweaty, tough, so many falls and slips, falling rocks, look forward is like going down a steep hill, so scary, looks impossible, so far away and so much to go, so many rocks and potholes on the way, but the Today is so short, just one step at a time, “Hayoim Kutzar” its really short, so that way is more doable, it’s a matter of a few hours, so let’s do it together…. lets not mess it up...

Yes! I do have lusty moments, hashem gave it to me for good reasons, and I’ll try to use it just for that, and ill try not to use it for something else, that’s part of my test, and I will try to get a 100 mark, if hashem sent it to me, Im positive that I can control it, and I will try with your help, I cant alone, and one day I will control my lust, and not the lust will control me..

Let’s Stay Strong! Let’s Stay Clean! And let’s be positive and happy, Yes! We can! And Together

Bigmoish wrote on 03 Jul 2017 16:23:

If he stays on GYE and stays connected to the experienced fellows and hooks up with the right people, his wife will iyh have a husband who comes into marriage with more preparation than most chassanim. He will have a thorough understanding of himself and of his agendas. He will have an appreciation for what real intimacy is and what it is not, and he will hopefully have gotten to the point that women will be viewed as receivers of his potential giving and not as pleasure objects.

Hashem Help Me wrote on 03 Jul 2017 04:14:

Is there a basis for that statement?
Not trying to get down on anyone, just being realistic.

mikestruggling wrote on 03 Jul 2017 04:46:

If you're an addict, the reason why you keep on acting out is... because you're an addict. It's the status quo. My Sponsor likes to tell me "It's natural to lust, it's an act of God if we don't" when I shame myself for acting out or taking actions of lust.

getthere wrote on 03 Jul 2017 15:51:

thank you for your support,
so far i dont see any light of the tunnel, its not getting easier, i still go trough very difficult nights, day is not that hard, i BH dont have any Taveh for porn, and no Taveh to look on ladys on the street, which is big win for me, i never thought that i will one day be at this stage, im fully clean from those stuff, i know by now that this things are just fake and empty, but the nights are very tough, and its only the lust, the lust triggers are so high, that sometimes its almost impossible to make it trough. i cant wait it should get at least easier, i know that lust is here to stay, but it should get easier to control.