botty wrote on 10 Aug 2017 20:55:

Taphsic can surely help in such a case of addiction like yours, I think.

I think you can start with a Taphsic vow for a little time and little knas, to see how it works with you.
It would be wise to adjust it by little steps after, making it more difficult if needed. Little steps.
Adding 500 $ knas in a Taphsic suddenly, or adding 6 months to his duration suddenly, are pure stupidity.

Also, I advice to keep original GYE's version.  If you want to customize it, be sure about your modification and think it twice before the vow, and start to test it for a little period of time.

Be patient : it could take months before you find "your" good version. And your version is only adapted to your story, and could be a nightmare for another addict

Side effect : a succesful Taphsic can bring you to stop to work on the program, so you have to be careful on this point. This happened to me and it lead me to falls.

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 10 Aug 2017 18:29:

About me?
ok. Struggling with masturbation for over 20 years. Been on GYE for almost 6 years. Had some huge success in that time. Had some huge failures in that time. I probably am not an addict. I am also probably an addict.

A shame to skip my thread, has some real gems in there. At least they seemed that way at the time. Probably a bunch of crap.

In my own experience, Taphsic is helping a lot.

But I know this is with these two facts :
- I'm not in a very high level of addiction (like acting two or three times a week)
- There is a condition in my Taphsic vow to annonce to my wife when I have a fall
This condition is the key for me, obviously because of fear and shame to tell her that I took some hours to made my day with other women...
Before I made this condition, Taphsic with simple money knas helped too, but not as good as now.

With a low level of addiction,Taphsic could be very helping to stay sober.
With an higher level addiction or in case of a very strong lust attack, a Taphsic could help to gain time for some minutes or hours...

But, in each case, if there isn't actions in parallels like calling a partner, going to SA meetings, filters... Taphsic vow will be broken. For sure. It's just a question of time.
Because addiction is more powerful than fear of perjury.

A Taphsic vow is just to help you to gain time (especially Taphsic vow with actions to do before acting), or to help you like a crutch.

And I know people that made Taphsic with 2000 dollars knas, thinking that it could free them from addiction. Their bankers aren't happy now...
And I know people that made Taphsic with a condition like "Everytime I will take a second look at a woman, I'll pay 0.20 dollars". This is a good way to become crazy.
Taphsic is not the magic word that will erase the addiction.
There is not magic word for that. Only serious, humble work and the 12 steps will help.

45 days clean

I'm feeling rather positive and optimistic today. I'm getting some of my energy and motivation back I think. But I often still have those bad depressive days where I feel ill, lonely and worthless. Sometimes I feel like real crap. The yetzer hara is trying hard to tempt me back into perversion. So many women on the streets are dressed so................, this irritates me and it can be very hard not to look. But I know if I do look, I will just feel worse afterwards anyway, so I keep my eyes on the ground or focused on something else. So much is reminding me of how I'm single and lonely, and this has been a trigger for sin throughout my life.



This addiction has been an escape route for me for many years. I wasted so much time in lustful fantasy. I will start working more on my self-development and improving my life and career when the cravings, urges and withdrawal symptoms subside. But at the moment my brain is usually in a haze or fog.



I'm still doing a lot of religious studying, as well as regular repentance/praying and asking Hashem for His help. Praying can be real hard sometimes: I tend to just repeat myself more often than not. He knows I'm trying, I hope I will be forgiven and blessed eventually.  

GrowStrong wrote on 09 Aug 2017 21:41:

Sadist  

But I do not speak your language.....  

GS, I wouldn't consider myself normal, I take pride in that! But an addict? Na, not me, at least I don't think so.

I have only one thing to add.
Yesterday you said you are not normal.
In our language not normal means addict.
You cant be not normal and also not an addict.
Pick one

maybe it wont work for ppl who are very hard addicted, that fall like every day with bad movies. but for ppl that fall once a few weeks without bad vidoes it could be good?

botty wrote on 09 Aug 2017 19:54:

That you had problems in life, is why I said therapy may help

I think if you are willing to take advice from a virtual forum, makes you a definite candidate - just kiddin'

Ok, now about Taphsic. There's nothing to say
Let each man state what works for him, as I have in my sig ;-)

Let the people that have succeeded with Taphsic alone for serious / normal addiction please come forward and share with botty. Hey guys slow down! One at a time...  Oops hey where did they dissapear to?
(Should I put the next in a spoiler??)
Oh - they used the Taphsic mentioned in this week's Chizuk email, planting a sword by the bedside. Baruch Dayan Haemet to all those 
Well, hopefully a new generation of Taph will emerge again 

MArkz what i wrote that says i need it?

GrowStrong i dont understand - those who are in forum are more addicted or less??
can u explain again about the taphsic for who it works? what is "at the next level"?

Just about my sayings on Moshiach, it was written in a moment of despair. It was just a cry of my heart.

My program :
- Taphsic with a special clause to tell to my wife if I fell. This works well with me
- Filter on my Smartphone. Not a perfect one, but strong enough. My wife keeps the password. It's Funamo for information
- Home computer doesn't have Internet connection at all
- At work (home of many falls), I moved to a place where everybody can see at every moment what I am seeing on my screen
- I read 'hizuk email both in english and french EVERY morning. This is mandatory
- Working on 12 steps with books
- ONE DAY AT A TIME !!! And not thinking too much about my passed days count because it could lead to pression, too much confidence, and a quick fall.
- Shares with my wife. Saying honestly all I can say to her about the addiction, to save her confidence. If there is an alert, I call her : very efficiant to stay calm.
- Talks with a partner (not on a regular basis, I recognize). This is very different of talking with my wife.
- GYE forum and mails with admin of french GYE website, especially for special problems and questions
- Work on middos : especially on emouna, to let Hachem doing the things and to stop to control everything. And on nervosity, of course.
- Internalize that women in the streets and internet are not my objects ! 
- Work on 'hessed with my wife and children
- Staying vigilant.  Constant vigilance !     If a danger zone is coming, avoid it ! This is a key. A lack of vigilance led me to my fall last night.
So I have to Internalize well the first step for this, that I am powerless with lust and I have to avoid triggers and dangerous situations by any mean.


About stress and my will to control everything, it's my biggest trigger. This is where I have to work the much.

The more difficult now is to get up. I feel like I have to rebuild a mountain.... But I know this is false.

Surrender, Fall, Prayer,...... none of that bothers me 
What I mean by content is that I still do not think I am an addict so in my head I do not need to be going to meetings/calls and hear about how and what everyone else is going thru. I feel that I am using it as an alternative way of acting out, much the same way that Dov says it is an excuse to think about my penis all day. (sorry for the crass lingo) 

Thank you

botty wrote on 09 Aug 2017 14:13:

Phew - at least someone heard ;-)

Botty no one can tell you what to do, but the powerful solutions (see spoiler below) are available. Your choice

Hey guys, just wanna share you my last history:
i am a gye member for like 3 years and a half. my 1st 90days was a success, i was clean 1 year and 2 months, but after that i started to fall like once a 50-60 days in average. actually i just fell today (9/8/2017). "fall"=only act out, without bad vidoes BH... the last 2 months it became harder, i fall like once 2.5 weeks.
i use only 90day chart and chizuk emails. i wanted to start taphsic method but saw in forums that ppl say this method isnt such a success... what can i do? do i נחשב addicted?
which method can i use to help me lower the falling frequency? besides praying to god like at least 4 time a day? is it good to start the tahpsic method for me?
thanks in advance
i am not married, 25 years old (in כו' אב), live in israel...

Thank you very much for your message, it helped me a lot to find the forces to tell her about my fall, and how to tell her...

She was disappointed, for sure. She was glad I didn't saw p*rn pictures, because it's a very red line for her, more than motsi zera levatala. 
We talked about what to improve, in our lives and our relation. And she supported me to continue.

Yesterday was a good sober day.
But last night... Boom boom patatras : p*rn sites and a mad night

I am crying this morning with all fibers of my body.... All I done and I seen was absolutly disgusting and grotesque (especially after one year clean), and only bring me depression, sadness, anxiety, little sleep, and distance with all the world, my wife and my children... All this hours and days of suffering for 2 minutes of fake pleasure.

I didn't want to do it, but it was too powerful.
I am davening with tears to Hashem to help me, I am absolutly powerless with lust... Even all the will can do nothing against this addiction when there is an attack .
I am asking Him to take me with all my dust, and to help me, because only Him can do it.

I am shouting to this monster, I am shouting to him that his will is not my will, this is not what I want to be, this is not my world, this is not an escape at all. He can try to take my flesh, my bones, my blood, but he will never take my soul, he will never take my family, he will never take my work, he will never take my olam haba...

And because I know this, and I know that the Ribono shel Olam is next to us, even in the darkest moments, that He is awaiting us to call Him, to cry to Him, to ask Him for help, so there is hope...

Enough with all this lust ! Enough of suffering ! Enough of broken familys and broken lives ! Hachem must bring us Moshiah quickly, before all am Israel will be trapped in all this tuma. 
And then all this will be like a bad dream.