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15 Aug 2017 02:31
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Unknowngye
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Hello,
I'm looking to start the 12-steps (looking for a partner by the way- I'm 19 in a few months) and I'd like to approach them appropriately. What is the definition if an addict? What are his behaviors and thoughts?
Thank you
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14 Aug 2017 16:41
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laughingman
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If i wasnt addicted to m********* before ....i am now or getting to it ....i have never done it soo much before
i am soo depressed because i know and can feel the darkness it is pulling over me
i am becoming a shell
i have given up on myself because of my past deeds and i feel that stopping is impossible now
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14 Aug 2017 01:32
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Hakolhevel
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MBJ wrote on 10 Aug 2017 19:42:
MayanHamisgaber wrote on 10 Aug 2017 18:29:
Welcome back
Maybe give us a brief update about yourself for those of us that were not here before and are to lazy to read thru your thread (like me)
Thanks
About me?
ok. Struggling with masturbation for over 20 years. Been on GYE for almost 6 years. Had some huge success in that time. Had some huge failures in that time. I probably am not an addict. I am also probably an addict.
A shame to skip my thread, has some real gems in there. At least they seemed that way at the time. Probably a bunch of crap.
Your thread is one of the first I read and helped reel me in to gye. great to see you back and hoping to see more gems.
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13 Aug 2017 23:11
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dont give up
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But I think, on a person with a low level addiction, Tapshic is a good help. A good help only if it is used with others tools of SA/GYE : 12 steps, live meeting, forum, partnership, even therapy...
The 12 Steps of S.A. is not another technique to control the addiction.
the 12 steps are a group of principles, that when practiced as a way of life, lets a power greater than one's self to enter and expel the obsession to lust.
WWhen I gave up my right to entertain lust, and surrender the temptation to my HP - asking Him to take it from me, I don't fight it - and I surrender all fear, resentments and self centred ambitions, and try to be of maximum service to others - G-D comes in arrived the obsession.
have you followed the steps precisely as described in the Big Book?
It worked for me and I'll be glad to guide you.
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13 Aug 2017 16:22
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cordnoy
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Shlomo24 wrote on 13 Aug 2017 15:24:
GrowStrong wrote on 13 Aug 2017 07:58:
GYE is a gateway drug for SA'ers and a solution for non addicts who are not powerless.
That is all.
The SA guys who are still here are here for the same reason you logged back in.
Exactly. I'm here to help others. I have a program of recovery that keeps me sober.
I'm here to help myself.
Helpin' others is icin' on the cake.
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13 Aug 2017 15:24
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Shlomo24
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GrowStrong wrote on 13 Aug 2017 07:58:
GYE is a gateway drug for SA'ers and a solution for non addicts who are not powerless.
That is all.
The SA guys who are still here are here for the same reason you logged back in.
Exactly. I'm here to help others. I have a program of recovery that keeps me sober.
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13 Aug 2017 07:58
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GrowStrong
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GYE is a gateway drug for SA'ers and a solution for non addicts who are not powerless.
That is all.
The SA guys who are still here are here for the same reason you logged back in.
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11 Aug 2017 20:40
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Trouble
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Workingguy wrote on 11 Aug 2017 20:07:
I think the point that whoever it was was trying to make is that you learn how to control your decisions. It may not be true for addicts, but I don't know- even for 12 steppers it never jumped into your head "I'd love to act out, on second thought nah, it would be stupid."
That's a form of control; you may not be IN control but at that moment you might be controlllkng your decisions.
It may be your higher power helping you, but ultimately you're the one who does the action to doesn't. And if you ever make a choice not to, you controlled yourself.
I always understood that 12 steps was trying to say that we had to relinquish control of our lives and stop trying to control our addiction. It didn't mean that in a specific decision we didn't have control.
But I'm not sure if this is only for non-addicts or not.
And I'm not sure if I understand or not.
I control the moment of giving up control to the One Who is in control, so He can allow me to control the decision I have no control over.
Did I get it right?
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11 Aug 2017 20:07
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Workingguy
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I think the point that whoever it was was trying to make is that you learn how to control your decisions. It may not be true for addicts, but I don't know- even for 12 steppers it never jumped into your head "I'd love to act out, on second thought nah, it would be stupid."
That's a form of control; you may not be IN control but at that moment you might be controlllkng your decisions.
It may be your higher power helping you, but ultimately you're the one who does the action to doesn't. And if you ever make a choice not to, you controlled yourself.
I always understood that 12 steps was trying to say that we had to relinquish control of our lives and stop trying to control our addiction. It didn't mean that in a specific decision we didn't have control.
But I'm not sure if this is only for non-addicts or not.
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11 Aug 2017 16:47
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cordnoy
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LifneiHashem wrote on 11 Aug 2017 15:20:
Shlomo24 wrote on 10 Aug 2017 23:24:
There's absolutely nothing wrong with control. It doesn't work for me because I'm an addict. For non-addicts, if it works, work it. Keep up the great work, Shivsi.
Sometimes us non- addicts can feel a little bullied on the forum so thank you. It means a lot for an addict to support and encourage non addicts to take control rather than try to convince them to join the club and surrender.
Time for separate sites. [Ed. Note: the previous note was said in jest and is purely sarcastic.]
Sometimes us addicts can feel bullied as well. When I see that "all we need to do is control ourselves," I feel bullied, for I have little control. When I see that "all we need to do is surrender, for we have no control," I feel bullied, for do I really have "no control"?
Did I once have control?
Do I have now?
What does control mean anyway?
B'hatzlachah
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11 Aug 2017 15:20
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LifneiHashem
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Shlomo24 wrote on 10 Aug 2017 23:24:
There's absolutely nothing wrong with control. It doesn't work for me because I'm an addict. For non-addicts, if it works, work it. Keep up the great work, Shivsi.
Sometimes us non- addicts can feel a little bullied on the forum so thank you. It means a lot for an addict to support and encourage non addicts to take control rather than try to convince them to join the club and surrender.
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11 Aug 2017 12:45
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Markz
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David26fr wrote on 10 Aug 2017 22:58:
botty wrote on 10 Aug 2017 20:55:
for some1 who falls like once 2-3 weeks without bad vidoes, will it be good?
Taphsic can surely help in such a case of addiction like yours, I think.
I think you can start with a Taphsic vow for a little time and little knas, to see how it works with you.
It would be wise to adjust it by little steps after, making it more difficult if needed. Little steps.
Adding 500 $ knas in a Taphsic suddenly, or adding 6 months to his duration suddenly, are pure stupidity.
Also, I advice to keep original GYE's version. If you want to customize it, be sure about your modification and think it twice before the vow, and start to test it for a little period of time.
Be patient : it could take months before you find "your" good version. And your version is only adapted to your story, and could be a nightmare for another addict
Side effect : a succesful Taphsic can bring you to stop to work on the program, so you have to be careful on this point. This happened to me and it lead me to falls.
According to what you replied this morning, which I assumed would be coming, this post I re-quoted here which almost mentions nothing about other recovery steps has no basis (your word "program" can refer to Filters, as you said earlier)
How can you then assume it'll help for 6 months for someone else?
Please keep sharing what works for you (share it with others in recovery - not your wife please)
Hatzlacha!
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11 Aug 2017 08:46
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David26fr
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As I said in my previous message, absolutly no :
David26fr wrote on 10 Aug 2017 07:57:
With a low level of addiction,Taphsic could be very helping to stay sober.
With an higher level addiction or in case of a very strong lust attack, a Taphsic could help to gain time for some minutes or hours...
But, in each case, if there isn't actions in parallels like calling a partner, going to SA meetings, filters... Taphsic vow will be broken. For sure. It's just a question of time.
Because addiction is more powerful than fear of perjury.
A Taphsic vow is just to help you to gain time (especially Taphsic vow with actions to do before acting), or to help you like a crutch.
[...]
Taphsic is not the magic word that will erase the addiction.
There is not magic word for that. Only serious, humble work and the 12 steps will help.
For me, Taphsic alone with no other work or program at all, as I experienced, is a very good tool to became... a perfect dry drunk addict
And in this case, when Tapshic vow is removed or has reached his term , fall will occur in minutes. Not even hours or days, but minutes.
This is not what I can call "recovery"
But I think, on a person with a low level addiction, Tapshic is a good help. A good help only if it is used with others tools of SA/GYE : 12 steps, live meeting, forum, partnership, even therapy...
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11 Aug 2017 00:02
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Markz
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David26fr wrote on 10 Aug 2017 22:58:
botty wrote on 10 Aug 2017 20:55:
for some1 who falls like once 2-3 weeks without bad vidoes, will it be good?
Taphsic can surely help in such a case of addiction like yours, I think.
I think you can start with a Taphsic vow for a little time and little knas, to see how it works with you.
It would be wise to adjust it by little steps after, making it more difficult if needed. Little steps.
Adding 500 $ knas in a Taphsic suddenly, or adding 6 months to his duration suddenly, are pure stupidity.
Also, I advice to keep original GYE's version. If you want to customize it, be sure about your modification and think it twice before the vow, and start to test it for a little period of time.
Be patient : it could take months before you find "your" good version. And your version is only adapted to your story, and could be a nightmare for another addict
Side effect : a succesful Taphsic can bring you to stop to work on the program, so you have to be careful on this point. This happened to me and it lead me to falls.
David, Has Taphsic alone saved you for 3 months?
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10 Aug 2017 23:24
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Shlomo24
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There's absolutely nothing wrong with control. It doesn't work for me because I'm an addict. For non-addicts, if it works, work it. Keep up the great work, Shivsi.
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