Numis wrote on 27 Aug 2017 15:36:

Let's say your problem is actually because you aren't having sex enough. If that's the case, you will have sex with your wife when you need to scratch the itch. In that scenario, she's essentially a fluid dumpster for you. If that alone doesn't bother you, the problem is really more than that. Women, in general, are very perceptive and they feel these things. I personally have had experiences in which I felt sexually objectified and I felt like crap. It was not pleasant at all. Your wife may feel that way and that could cause serious marriage issues.

Furthermore, many of us have found that sex wasn't the problem. The problem was within us, not in sex. So having sex wouldn't solve the problem, and it can exacerbate it because there's another person involved now.

Hey everyone,

Thank you for all the materials and writings on this site. 

I am 27 years old. The first time I discovered pornography was around age 12, my father had some magazines that I looked at. Shortly after this, I discovered masturbation. I think I was 13. I wouldn't consider myself an addict at this age though.

Around age 15-16 I think is when I begin to view internet pornography. This has gone on until now. However, when I was 21 years old, I went an entire summer without any masturbation. I did view pornography at times during this stage though. Once summer ended, and college began again, I went back to viewing pornography and masturbation. I have a decent amount of 7-10 day streaks since then, too.

Now I am 27 years old. I want to remove this activity from my life permanently. Sometimes the urge seems to take over my mental clarity, and I fall to the sin once again. 

That is all for now. 

And why do you think the problem would get worse when your married?

thank you I really appreciate your insight.

A plan could be as simple as making a commitment to read the chizuk emails everyday, or calling someone when you are feeling weak. 

With regards to your two questions: I agree, I don't think you can totally avoid triggers. I also don't think your problem is being single. Many people got married only to find that their problem got worse. 

P.S Perhaps read the Guard your eyes handbook. In it you may find information on making a plan, as well as better perspective on the questions you have. 

All the best

I have discovered some basic triggers like boredom and feelings from being alone. I have two questions though #1 I feel like you can never completely avoid  your triggers #2 could my problem be from that I am sexually inactive ( being that I'm single)and that drives my bad habits

What type of plan?

Welcome! Posting on the forum helped me alot. I'm a single guy in my early 20's who was helped alot by GYE. Feel free to email me if you think I might be able to help. ihavestrength1@gmail.com 

P.S I think with a plan you will do great. 

Welcome! Check out the GYE daily chizuk emails. They are inspiring & and can help you stay proactive. 

Welcome!  The fact that you could stop for long periods of time is a very good sign.  Stay busy.   Keep up with friends etc.  Check out the handbook.  Your scenario is very common.  When in yeshiva it is easier.  Can you identify triggers?  Is it boredom, not having a schedule, certain feelings when you are home.  Certain relationships that stress you out...

Generally speaking 15 and above means that SA can help you if you are really willing to help yourself.

Could be could be not, ask SA. 

Amazon, AA.org, contact any SA or AA group. 

So,
Continuing my 3rd try at 90.
4 days ago this was the worst thing in the world.
Today I go onto the Pizza store to buy some late breakfast, after a very stressful meeting with a difficult relative and while I'm about to pay, 2 girls walk right up behind me to order/pay/whatever.
very tznius frum post-sem (or maybe in HS?) anyway in my head they both asked me for sex,
and I had to fight not to answer. (wtf is wrong with me?)
Don't tell me that is what everyone is thinking.
I had to leave the store.
is this related to an addiction that got out of hand?
withdrawal? old fashioned pervert?
These kids never thought for a second that I had a whole conversation with them in my head.
is this something that can go away with SA / Steps / Therapy?
I am so ready to go right back into porn spiral.
I didn't even check in here for the last 4 days as I had no need whatsoever.
It's not boredom. I have tons of work on my desk that I'm not doing.
I turned away 2 people from my office just as I am writing this.
I hope this forum can either help me understand or direct me to someone who can.
until I have an idea of how to separate and define the following I can't fully work on myself.

• 1) normal testosterone (mine is low by the way so I shouldn't be so perverted)
• 2) too long since normal sex
• 3) addiction / compulsion
• 4) bad habit
• 5) crazy perverted sickness
• 6) emotional distress that has nothing to do with sex but is manifesting itself in available outlet.
• 7) boredom
• 8) something I haven't thought of yet???

I hope doing 90 days will loosen Lusts grip on me enough that I can work on it.
otherwise just 90 days is just 90 days.
I hope to live longer than that.
insight welcome.
TY

dms1234 wrote on 15 Aug 2017 04:36:

I think I can give a clear NO to maybe 3 questions.
However, Does that mean you are an "addict" ?
I think a lot of people would say yes to at least a few.
What is the official curve?

Keep on posting, and more importantly, read the posts of fellows with good recovery. Stay open minded.