Helpaneshuma wrote on 24 Nov 2017 02:58:

No one would tell an addict with zero sobriety to get a smart phone just so he can access GYE.   (I'm not saying the person who started this thread is an addict.)

Not a therapist but someone who has his talks (shmuze)on gye I’m not saying his name just bec I don’t feel it’s right and let me tell u somthing else he’s been 100%sober cleannnn for 20 yes 20 years so I would agree with someone like that....and BTW I got this advise from a very big and  known therapist also.....

Helpaneshuma wrote on 24 Nov 2017 02:47:

Hey we are having a friendly brotherly convo here...

There's no question in my mind that you should heed the professional advice of your therapist who knows you in real lifeover anything anyone here tells you, but did your shrink say that piece of advice that you suggested, that one should go buy a smartphone to access gye?

No problem whatever you think everyone has Their own opinion. Just to reiterate I’m not talking from myself but I’m talking from massive massive  specialists who know a hell of a lot more than any guy on this chat group..so take it or leave it trust me.. Hatzalah the argument is over I’m not commenting on this issue again......

Helpaneshuma wrote on 22 Nov 2017 07:04:

I think Cordnoy knows enough about his personal addiction issues, and of many others - probably a heck of a lot more than your frum therapists

And let me tell you somethin' funny
He knows about recovery too- has helped countless guys and gals. And his opinion (highly respected) from what I understand is that whether one is an addict or not, one should not go out and purchase a device with possible pitfalls (it's virtually impossible to have foolproof filtering - ask me - I'm a verified fool) just for the sake of reading some random forum posts or emails of chizuk...

Thanks for your help!
I'm new to the site & I don't know yet how to work with it.
i will review the links you included.
i would like to ask if somebody can send my links to articles etc. that discuss marriage in such a situation I'm sure I saw things like this here.

Helpaneshuma wrote on 24 Nov 2017 02:20:

Chaver,   Cordnoy knows plenty about sex addiction and your advice was horrible. 

Thanks for your understanding.
it's just like you wrote, I find my ways to do watch bad things when I want to & I'm doing the craziest things for it. On the other hand I want to get through the gye site & getting the most help I can. I didn't read through the book yet (it's too risky for me to have a hard copy at home now).

FYI, I have now a unblocked phone in my pocket (it's not mine, it was in our office) that I wanted to use for ... But the fact that I'm a GYE kept me from acting out!!

I have to agree with Cordnoy about the phone. Which brings me to an issue that I have brought up before. Please learn who the sober people are here and get to know them by email and phone. You are asking advice in a forum of people who are using fake names and you have no idea who they are. There are people here with years of sobriety and a lot of experience, strength and hope to share. Get to know them.

I will say your share was very powerful and it is very sad to hear about the way your shidduch was made.  You sound like a very good person and Baruch Hashem have a good wife who you can talk to.

If you would like to talk with me via phone or email, I would consider it a privilege. My email is gomu2serenity@gmail.com.

I would encourage you to email cordnoy, to get on the noon call with Duvid Chaim or to get on Dov's noon call Wed and Sunday. You can email Dov at wequithiding@gmail.com. 

May Hashem help us to be the people He intended us to be.

Yakov 

I guess you don’t know much about a real sex addiction bec if someone is an addict then they’ll access what they want when ever they want it I understand we’re you are coming from bec. We always here not to get your self access to a smart phone bec it’s putting your self in the matzav (vilo liday nisyon) but when someone is an addict they need real help like SA to go  through the 12 steps to get real control over themselves  contrary to  popular belief that’s the facts and I’m not saying this from my self but I’m saying it from real professionals (frum therapists etc.) so if you know what your really talking about you would agree with me       .. Obviously every single case is different but based on what he wrote that’s what it seemed.. 

Helpaneshuma wrote on 24 Nov 2017 00:43:

Welcome all.

Wishin' you all hatzlachah.

My apologies, but to get a smart phone just to access gye, is from the most ludicrous pieces of advice I have ever heard. Sorry for bein' so strong.

Yes I would not mind doing that it can be  beneficial for both of us my email is n1998nhd@gmail.com thnks looking forward!!

I really really feel terrible for you reading your story.. regarding your second question, yes you should get a smart phone(with the necessary filter) bec. (Based on what you wrote you have  access anyways to open internet)The Reason is so you can have more access to gye like you said and to  expand on that,gye has tips as well as things that you can do on there website at that time when you have a desire to fall and it really really worked with me so I think it’s  extremely extremely important for you to have access to gye when you need it most.....I wish tremendous hatzlacha in everything in life!!!!!

Welcome, brother!

What a sad story. All I can say would probably do more harm than good. Continue with your psychologist and may Hashem be in your way!! Stick around and you will learn a lot! This is a very warm chavra!

Welcome Chaver.

Thanks for coming here and somewhat opening up.

Wishing you Hatzlacha on the road to recovery.