Glad to hear that your situation is set up. That is a milestone that others would be envious of. 
Hope everything works out.
Hatzlacha. 

Strange.  It's 1:13am on Dec 24 and your post was posted in 7 minutes.


editedit:  my keyboard stutters on this site.  That's correctly strange,  but the time thing (at just in this case)  makes sense.  The GYE forum doesn't keep DST.

Back to business...
Tomorrow I will break my previous record of 11 days!
I hope that now it will be once and for all, but I'm not crazy enough to believe it.
I'm happy with what I've accomplished so far (I like that gye tells you "cumulative clean days" so you see what you've accomplished even if you fell, I have 36 BH) but I would not be happy if I stay like this...

Wishing you all the best, happiest & holiest week!

About the smartphone again;
I follow the advice of NO ONE (except for daat Torah, doctor etc.) if it doesn't make sense to me, and I advise you all to do the same (only if it makes sense of course...) but since I know I'm not the smartest I have to listen to other people's opinion.
I already knew the pros & cons of a smartphone before I asked the question (there's a reason I didn't have a smartphone until now).
A smartphone can be used in so many ways (even with a filter, + there are so many different filters) so you can't afford to say that it's a good idea to get a smartphone to access gye, cuz in many cases it's יצא שׂכרו בהפסידו. Also every person is different, there are people that figure out a way around every filter & there are people that don't, there are people that it may help them & people it may hurt, people that if they don't have access they don't do & people that if they don't have access to filtered internet they may end up getting access to open internet.
For my self I think it would be a big benefit to have a smartphone blocked by TAG with no access to browser social media etc. (I wouldn't even download shopping apps etc.) but since I'm not the smartest I'm not doing it based on MY advice. (I can not ask anyone about it because I (think I) am a unique person & (I think that) very few people know me well)

A filter has nothing to do with recovery, but it's a must have (at least) until you've fully recovered. (My understanding). In fact it's one of the items on GYE's checklist.

[BTW, I like to learn everything, but I never learned computer programming etc. cuz I know that if I learn it a filter will no longer stop me from accessing things that I shouldn't have access to]

If my rav knows about my struggle? The answer to this is interesting; I didn't tell him at first (had in plan to tell him about it but since I didn't know if he has experience in that field I kept pushing it off), but here comes in my news that I hinted on Dec 17... (I don't think that somebody remembers, except for mark who remembers everything...) It was on a Friday, I was on the forum (I wasn't in the bathroom since I can't be there all day...) & my wife walked through, I didn't hide it from her for 2 reasons 1) usually she's not looking in to what I'm doing 2) I anyway had in plan to tell her about it one day so I wasn't too careful. But this time was different (was l'tovah as you will see) she looked in to the tablet, I closed the (incognito) tab right away, she asked me what it was, I felt it's not the right time to tell her so I told her that I will tell her later, but she didn't give up so I don't her the name of the site (since I was always in incognito while being on gye I thought she'll never find me there, but I was mistaking..) When I left the house she went on gye & right away she knew that youcan is me... Now read the first post of the thread & try to guess what her reaction was. But the good thing was that by this she figured out that I have a mental issue (or she started to take it more as a main player) so she opened up how she was affected by it. Bottom line (I don't want to write too many details) we're both now in therapy and everybody projects that our lives & marriage will get much better (wasn't very bad till now). The first few days (till we settled on a good therapist for her & till she went for the first session) she was very confused & very emotional so she wanted to talk to my rav so I had to tell him before in short the story... on the phone!...... We agreed that we have to meet about it but it didn't happen yet. I just started therapy with a good therapist ($200 an hour!!! Crazy!) & since I'm convinced that my addiction has to do with my mental issue I'm more focused on this now.

mikestruggling wrote on 23 Dec 2017 20:42:

For a non addict it means the schar and effort are not lost
For an addict ....It probably don't matter

Sorry. Something went wrong with the last post. Meant to quote Markz from a while back.
Once I'm at it, for got to ask you Mark what you mean by "Cordnoy knows enough about his personal addiction issues, and of many others". Did you mean that he knows enough about many other people's addiction issues or that he knows enough about many of his own personal issues? If the latter can you please delineate? Thank you 

 I think Cordnoy knows enough about his personal addiction issues, and of many others - probably a heck of a lot more than your frum therapists



And let me tell you somethin' funny

He knows about recovery too- has helped countless guys and gals. And his opinion (highly respected) from what I understand is that whether one is an addict or not, one should not go out and purchase a device with possible pitfalls (it's virtually impossible to have foolproof filtering - ask me - I'm a verified fool) just for the sake of reading some random forum posts or emails of chizuk...

Don’t want to bring up any intense arguments from the past, but just wanted to understand the obvious: why not ensure easy access to GYE? Yes, the idea sounded ludicrous to me as well, but 1) the little I have heard from Cordnoy on the subject gave me the impression that filters aren’t necessarily on his list for essential things for recovery (don't recall details and could have been something personal about my situation), and 2) some tools that need a decent amount of access to GYE seem pretty important (or at least very useful) for some users (i.e., the forum made it on one of your ‘what works for me” list. I do remember you saying that the central and long-term role of the forum is unique in your case, but not sure if this negates my point) 

Don’t mean to quote anybody- and I’m really not (although it would be an honor if Cordnoy deemed this the most ludicrous thing that anyone quoted him for), and I obviously don’t know Cordnoy’s sh*tahs more than you.

Cordnoy didn’t say why it was not a good idea, and I was going on your explanation of it. But in any case, why not? Personally, I don’t have a smart phone because it was too hard not getting access when I had one (which makes GYE usage- even when I want it, not as accessible), and I would like stress to anyone thinking about purchasing one the ridiculous amount of torture and agony the phone gave me at times (which is part of why I thought the idea of getting one sounded ludicrous). This is besides for my urge for wariness of being too dependent on certain things like the forum (I think others with more wisdom might mirror this caution as well) . But if one never (and perhaps there are those who don’t?) have issues with getting through filters, why not (and from what I heard they are tighter since I had one)? What if he would have no access if not otherwise? Why not utilize GYE if it’s an option?

Again, it does sound a little funny, but I’m willing to be the Karbon to ask the question (which isn’t specifically for Markz). Perhaps this is a question in disguise directed towards Markz and Cordnoy on their opinion on the GYE forum/GYE in general/ filters (I apologize if this was spoken about in length already. In that case I would ask the handy dandy Markz to pull up the thread).

 

Hope you’re doing ok Markz. Haven’t connected with you in a while.

 

 

 

 

Hey just read your thread. 
Hope you are matzleach in therapy. 
Seems that your Rav knows at least some of your personal struggles. I think that's great. 
You didn't mention if he knows about this one though. 
My Rebbe once knew almost everything about me besides this struggle. I was urged to do so on this forum and the only regret I have is not doing so earlier. For me it was good letting it out onto someone that I trust. Obviously, this was only a good thing for me because my Rebbe is a very safe person.

Just throwing it out there. Perhaps in your circles things are different. Perhaps it is not the time (assuming you have not done so). Perhaps a million things. But what I have learned here it seems if the person is safe no harm could be done. But see what others say. As Serenity mentioned at the beginning of your thread, don’t go run and do anything just because someone posted to do so.

Wish you well  

small steps brings big steps. may hashem as he took rubashkin out of jail, may he take out the jail from our insides. amen.

Beautiful news! Nice way to start and an appropriate goal.

i'm 20 and single Sephardi, and i just started gye 52 days ago and i'm 47 cumulative days clean bh, and started having addiction 4 years ago  didn't realized or cared in till year after i started having problems/3 years ago but i just couldn't stop no matter how much i tried, and this summer was hearing Jewish radio show that had gye talk about the web site  and this sukkot  bein hazemaninm i checked out the web site and joined and its bin a life changer sense:innocent:

youcan wrote on 22 Dec 2017 02:07:

If a Rav or Specialist prescribes something, can the same medicine be administered by the patient to his roommate in the hospital?
Maybe it will kill the guy Gd forbid

And then here's another problem - rabbis pasken based on the information provided
What happens if we leave out information - for example that "oh and by the way I'm a sexaholic and that's why I need sex and you better make sure she's available"
So then the rabbi administers his advice which may be wrong, and then we go ahead and prescribe this wrong "medication" to a friend? No make sense

keep posting brother, but we gotta be careful what pills we share around here - in any case one addiction is enough

Today I'm excited about something!

For a long time (long before I found GYE) every time my wife started to count I started counting (silently) with her. My goal was to be clean for a week on mikva night (short term goal). Now is the first time I made it!

It doesn't mean a lot for me, I still have a long way to go, but it shows me that I'm making progress & I should really be excited about it.

Hi, my chart says that I'm 8 days clean BH! My first time I managed to be to 11 second time I fell after 7 days, now is my third time. The last few days I felt that the challenge is becoming harder, I guess that I'm able to go on a week without it & then my struggle starts.
It didn't help me the fact that my wife isn't clean for 3 weeks now...
I hope to overcome that milestone & get very far. Meanwhile, one day at a time, yes today was a good day...
BTW, I started therapy today, with hashem's help this will help me with that struggle as well.
Good night (/good morning )