Amen, thank you so much. Its amazing and impressive that you can admit to this much earlier in life. I wish i opened up to someone about this when i was younger. Keep going and i hope you have tremendous Hatzlacha

Welcome! May your stay here be with hatzlacha! 

If you stick around, I can pretty much guarantee growth. Browse old forum topics, the wealth of information is tremendously valuable and educational. 

What the game plan here is, is to completely revamp your mindset and perspective on lust. Masturbation, porn, fantasizing, gazing at women in the street etc. all comes from one root cause, lust. Lust is what makes acting out feel like a physical need, it's what causes one to continue acting out, even when he doesn't want to. It's what ruins marriages, relationships, productivity, and happiness. It's a prime suspect in depression and unhappiness. 

 When one starts to understand, that lust is something that can be ignored, he starts to feel a liberty and a freedom. This change in perspective teaches him that what he felt as an uncontrollable need, is indeed just a feeling and nothing more. 

This is the mindset you should start to acquire and work on. It takes effort to achieve this, but its worth every bit of work.

Wishing you much success! 

                                 Grant

P.S. Am I the only guy in this forum that isn't a rebbi?!?

Shtarkandemotional wrote on 23 Dec 2020 18:32:

Aha.
Could be...
I can only talk from my own experience and being that i am an addict i really can't comment on what you write here...
BTW how old are you?

I guess were all like that in one way or another, It's amazing how we suddenly believe in ourselves so much that we keep telling ourselves that at the next stage/point in our lives we will stop. I kept telling myself that, but i went to Yeshiva in EY and didnt stop, got engaged didnt stop, married etc etc, but today were here tp stop, to change ourselves.
I too am a rebbi today, and it has become a positive motivation for me, because it has always been my dream to help others with this struggle, but I suppose I need to help myself first! Hope very soon to start being Mechazek my boys in a sensible subtle way.
Hatzlocho,
Excellence

I appreciate you reaching out. Yes no one in a million years would ever believe I have this problem. I guess I hid it extremely well. I always told myself when I go to Israel I’ll stop, then when I get married, then when I have kids, then when I become a rebbi etc but now we’re at this point lol. Anyways thanks for the chizuk and I’m much happier that it’s out in the open and hopefully can really start working on it

Dear R' notgivingup613,
Bruchim Haboim, אשרי מי שבא לכאן, You have just entered a new life. Real life. Everything inly gets better from here, you have a beautiful life ahead, no matter your history. here we don't hide our past, we use it to grow, to become greater people, real people.
I too am a full time Kollel Avrech, married, noone would dream i struggled with this. I relate. with time not just you will grow but your marriage will too, here we learn about real relationships not false ones. we learn how to connect with ourselves, Hashem n our wives.
​Wishing you tremendous Hatzlocho,
Can't wait to watch you grow,
with admiration (I remember that first time I spoke to my Rebbe-wow it was hard).
Feel free to post/pm me
Excellence

NotGivingUp613 wrote on 23 Dec 2020 19:08:

I just joined recently and I felt the same!! It feels like such a warm welcoming family all ready to help!

Hi.So basically my wife and i were high school sweethearts.(dont recommend it for anyone lol.) Throughout our marriage she always felt like i was hiding this issue. B'H we had and do have an amazing marriage but i know deep down she always wanted to speak to me about it but was scared. I also deep down knew she knew about my problem but was to scared to talk to her. Once i decided to open up  to my rav about what i was going through( which i have to add was not my own admittance but rather was forced to admit, maybe ill fill you guys in on the breaking point soon) and he sent me to a specialist who said i should tell my wife, then and only then did i tell my wife. 
The first thing she did was held my hand and said thank you for finally telling me. She has been in pain and waiting for years for me to open up and tell her.
That being said i dont know if everyone should be telling their spouse right away without first speaking it over with a specialist because not all women will react the way my wife reacted.
Thanks again for listening and Hashem should bless every single one of you.

First i would like to say the response from complete strangers is incredible. I am honestly getting chizuk just from seeing people responding and listening to my story. Keep up all the amazing work and i'm happy to be a part of this amazing site.

Shmuel wrote on 23 Dec 2020 17:55:

Sure thing! It’s not my own thing I’ve heard it from many rabbonim they promote burchim that are struggling(not addicted) with these inyanim to get married at an early age... I would assume it helps because after all young men (THAT ARE NOT ADDICTED) that are struggling with pornography and have a very hard time cuz they are lacking female attention etc etc... I would assume having a wife, helps! After all, buchrim are craving to be with a girl for a long time and when they finally have that girl and get married things can really calm down with regard to their desire for porn and having that urge for female attention...  I could be wrong it’s just what I’ve heard about this... I would love to hear your thoughts... (doesn’t apply in case of addiction tho)!

Can i ask you why you think getting married will help?

Hi,
Thank you very much for sharing!!
Can you tell us a bit more about your disclosure with your wife? What lead to it? How did you go about it? 
Telling one's wife is a popular topic on here and i think many can benefit from hearing more details on how it went...
Maybe you can share a bit more about your wife's reaction as well.

Thank you!
Hatzlacha!

Welcome! Good to have you here. With Hashem's help we can all get through this together.

Welcome. It should be with hatzlocha.

Hi N.G.U.6.1.3,

Thank you for sharing your story.
I'm not married but
your story resonates with many here who can relate to you.

A few months ago I would have been watching porn on almost daily/weekly basis.
So in that sense I can relate.

It's a really hard nisoyon but with opening up with the forums especially when you have the willpower and guts to call a GYE member you will see big change.

I'm pretty new myself so I don't want to vouch for anything but calling a GYE member, chatting in the chat room and posting on the forums is helping me alot.

It's a day by day battle - the small victories will add up overtime

Keep posting don't hold anything back, don't feel you are burdening anybody. You will be giving chizuk to many that need and it will help you with accountability.

I wish you much success and you are lucky you have such a understanding wife that is supportive