cordnoy wrote on 16 Nov 2022 19:29:

Rabbi Twerski wrote that there are a number of ways to define addiction. If you have a desire to do something, and know you shouldn't be doing it but go on to do it anyway, that indicates a loss of control. When this is repetitive, it justifies being considered an addiction.

Brother, you raise a good point but I think you’re mixing medical diagnosis with religion.

For example to consider a health problem “Using porn/masturbation more than intended or using it for longer than you’re meant to” - is likely referring to someone that masturbates 2-3 times a day. Whereas once / twice a week would not meet the criteria. Same goes for many other criteria. 

On the other hand we are religious Jews, so masturbating twice a month is sacrilegious. But don’t confuse it with the DSM mental health criteria…

So I beg to disagree with your conclusion that “I post this post because I think that a lot of people don't want to call this battle what it is: ADDICTION. What percentage of people on this site meet at least the 6 criteria I bolded above? Probably a very high percentage.”

I’m really confused and actually a little scared…. Am i addicted or not ?? and if ya is it bad? Scary? Can I live a normal life even being an addict with going to sa?!
who can I call that will conform for me my status?

DavidT wrote on 16 Nov 2022 17:59:

I'm sorry, I disagree with your assessment. Answerin' yes to #2 may be somewhat of an indicator (but not by itself), but one who is in a rut of habitually doin' bad stuff may respond yes to #1,3 & 4 as well. The books have lists of 20 questions. (In the past, I have replies yes to about 16/17 of 'em.)

Shmuel wrote on 16 Nov 2022 11:37:

I believe even "it" (whatever 'it' is) can go away (unlike diabetes). "It," however, can also come back (just like it entered in the first place).

Geshmak! wrote on 16 Nov 2022 05:44:

If you are referring to the clinical use of the word addiction then he is correct it cannot be cured and will never go away. It can however be managed with tools such as a 12 step program and therapy.
Think of it like diabetes 

Not all bad habits are actually an addiction... 

Geshmak! wrote on 16 Nov 2022 14:41:


Consider these questions to get an idea if it is an addiction or Just a bad habit:

1- Is your behavior having a negative impact—directly or indirectly—on your life?
2- Do you repeatedly put yourself in risky situations?
3- When you stop acting out for any length of time, do you experience withdrawal symptoms like anxiety or stress?
4- Have you taken steps to hide your behavior or have you repeatedly, but unsuccessfully, tried to stop on your own?

If you answered yes to these questions, you likely suffer from addiction.

A habit is a learned and ingrained association between a stimulus (or incentive) and a response (or behavioral reaction) manifested consciously or subconsciously to achieve a goal. Addiction is a more complex disease. 

Interesting…
how can a person know if it an addiction or Just a bad habit?

Interesting…
how can a person know if it an addiction or Just a bad habit?

Someone told me…if someone is addicted to sex there is no way he can get out of it by himself he must go to sa… is that true like can’t be that I used to be addicted and now I’m not?!? I really respect that person that told it to me but I’m just so not maskim… I used to be addicted like I couldn’t control myself and now bh I think I do have some what control so what does that mean I was never really addicted or does it mean that I really still am addicted or maybe I was an sex addicted and I recovered by myself with out going to sa…. Can’t be?!?!?

Hi Everyone, 
I am new to GYE. I have struggled for many years with a pornography addiction that then morphed into other forms of online sexual behaviors. I am married with multiple children and with another on the way. I had been able to maintain sobriety for a significant period of time (close to a year) until recently. My wife subsequently found out (again) and she is fed up and wants to leave me. I don't blame her. She see's no hope (neither do I??) and there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. I have nothing to tell her and no response to give her. This has happened time and again and I have no answers for her and no answers for myself. I have tried in person 12-step groups over and over again and invariably I stop going, stop with my sponsor or discontinue in some way. I have struggled with consistency all my life and this area is no different. I figured I would give this program a shot but it's difficult for me to truly believe that this will result in anything different. I am devastated and in a tremendous amount of pain. Thank you for reading this. If you choose to respond it would be meaningful for me.