Welcome aboard EK!

So you fought and succeeded for 10 days, you fell (as many of us do from time to time), and you got right back up and are fighting again. You are on the right track, climbing upwards despite the difficulty. What is there to be sad about?

Hang in there, the only way is UP! and Keep On Trucking!! (do you know what that means yet?)

Gevura!

FOLLOW UP;  just so people don't think I'm totally nuts, the post I was referring to has been removed. 

Keep on trucking.

Like Bardichev says FELL SCHMELL!!!!

Keep on trucking for JUST ONE DAY!  ;D Darn, write what made you fell...


Installed, forgive me a thousand times. I didn't go to a live SA meeting yet, so I am not the one to be talking. But you seem to be serious about going to one. Why don't you just go once? Just one time. If it works, then vau!!!! If it doesn't, you lost one or two hours. Well I suppose there will be just addicts there - I think that means, that nobody will laugh at you or give you looks, nobody will give you a "hard time", for sure. Cos they are doing "hard time".

Forgive me, I don't want to sound smart or anything, sorry.

Still I want to write something. You have the courage to come here and admit, that you fell. That is BIG, so my hat is off to You.
You can use that courage to stay clean one day and id you want you can use it to go to a meeting and for good many things.

Keep trucking man!!!!

I'm not sure if I fell yesterday, I went for a massage at a female RMT.  My body has been aching for a long time, working on the computer, lifting kids, etc. so I just went for the massage.  Nothing happened, but I didn't feel like it was the right thing to do, given that I went during business hours and I spent a lot of mental obsession thinking about it.  I don't feel my thoughts and closeness to Gcd were working for me.  I don't know if it counts as a fall, I'll keep on trucking, I just don't know why I feel bad after going.  Even a male RMT might cause the same post-massage sadness, that I spent too much time seeking it out.  Maybe this has nothing to do with addiction per se and more to do with anxiety and OCD.  Anyhow, maybe I should also take muscle relaxants for the body aches.  Who knows.

A fall is a fall and the rules are clearly defined by GYE. So, we cannot override it.

i have been here on GYE for over 10 months and B"H i'm clean since. In these days, i'm mostly on the Yiddish forum.

My experiance has shown, that people that fail to admit a fall and push it off with all sorts of reasons why they should not classify it as a full, have failed to pick them self up until they experianced a real gigentic big fall, that they couldn't find any reason, why its not a fall, and only then they were finally ready to admit, i fell and strated again.

I was very impressed recently, how Gevura took 2 big slips and chose to classify it as a fall and this helped him to move back on the tracks.

saying, i fell, should not make you act badly on it. you had "already" the most out of your fall. you are experiancing a fall that you can still easily get out of it and start drive up. If you act more on it, you will take just junk out of it and it will just make it very hard to get back to 1. right now, you can count tomorrow for 1, if you go further, it will be very hard and just give you alot of days counted as zero.

Thank hoshem for giving you all the clean days till now. Make sure, you feel good about them, you are a licky person who did the rutzen of hoshem for a long time and will continue to do so. You had one fall in the middle of the fight,m who cares, go on. Be happy, you are on the way to win.

Imagine, your country is at war with a strong enemy, one of the soliders was hit and wounded, so, the general says, ok, we made a lot pf progress in recent days and weeks, but, today, we lost already one battle, lets take advantage pof this, lets loss today as much as we can, tomorrow we will start fighting again....... thats stupid. Instead, we say, we accomplished so much, true, we had one casulty, but, we cannot afford to think to much of this, rather, we must focus on winning this fight and even fight back harder.

Hotzlucha raba.

Keep on trucking. One day at a time.

Hi 613!

Your post from earlier this morning was so "me" it was scary. You described almost exactly how i used to act out my fantasies... in fact I'm glad you deleted it because it triggered me badly  :-[ .

A couple of ideas, these are really halacha. Make sure to sleep on your side, not on back or front. And keep your hands outside the blanket. Also say the entire Krias Shema Al Hamita before you go to bed, from a siddur.

As far as Keep On Trucking, it means that no matter how difficult or painful, even if we slip or fall CH"V, we pick ourselves up and keep moving forward. It's one of the most important principles of recovery, as articulated by the Heiligger Rebbe Shlit"a. (TZ if you're reading this I'm sure you can link to the original quote  ) We also have some fun with it, humor is good for recovery too. Stick around and you'll learn all about Woodford, possums, cholint, Khaled, jellybeans, and all kinds of other cool stuff... ;D

Keep on Trucking!!!

Gevura!

P.S. feel free to PM me if you want.

Welcome aboard 613!

I relate so strongly to everything you wrote, it sounds almost exactly like me 20 years ago!

Opening up about it is a very important step. One of the biggest problems people like us have is isolation and a feeling of being "different" and not belonging, it is both a cause and an effect and can become a vicious cycle of shame, loneliness and falling. Getting involved with other people, both in groups like this and in real life, will go a long way in helping you get over it.

There are plenty of people here who do "get it", even those who do not share the added nisayon of SSA. And in truth, most of the struggle is really the same, it's all about the need to lust and our character defects that drive us there, it doesn't matter what the specific triggers are.

Look around the site, read the handbooks and other materials, and sign up for the Chizuk emails if you haven't yet.

Do you have a filter on your computer? If you need help installing one, or you want someone to hold the password for you, the GYE filter Gabbai can help. http://guardyoureyes.com/filters/gabai

Wishing you much Hatzlacha on your journey. Keep on Trucking and Keep on Posting!

Gevura!

P.S. Just in case you have not seen them yet....
My thread: http://www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=4125.0
Another great thread on the subject:http://www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=4612.0

It's only 3 pages on mine too, maybe your computer is the one that's not ordinary  ;D .

Seriously though, there's a setting for it in your profile. Go to Forum Profile, Modify Profile, Look and Layout, and check the setting for "Messages to display per page". The default is 15 but you can raise it to 50.

Oh, and being on the internet less is great, but don't disappear on us!

Keep On Trucking and Hold On Tight!

Gevura!

Mazel Tov!!!!

L'Chaim!!!

Keep On Trucking!!!!!

(but don't drink and drive!)

A Freiliche Purim!!!!!

Gevura!

Toughie... I had almost the same thing 2 weeks ago, got triggered and m*** without finishing. It's sort of a gray area in the rules.... I was going to let it be a slip, but the next morning i did it again, partway. I was feeling like i would explode if i didn't finish. I then decided i had to call it a fall because i knew if i didn't i would never stop.

I would say the same thing to you. If you can get back on track, it's probably best to let it slide and not get discouraged.So do what's best for you.

And remember....FALL SHMALL KEEP ON TRUCKING!!!!!  TOOOOOOTTTTT!!!!

Gevura!

StrugglingGuy wrote on 06 Mar 2012 18:40:


shoulda woulda coulda
send that garbage truck back home and keep on trucking.
you can use the darkness to sink into further negativity, despair, and justification.
Or you can use the new darkness as the opportunity to create all the more light.

U could do it wrote on 05 Mar 2012 05:17:


"U" are very welcome here! I am battling the same dilemma. I've been at it for almost a year now, in some ways it's been getting a little easier, i don't feel as isolated and "different" as I used to. But the triggers for my tayvos are as strong as ever, and they are strongest in the very places that most people can get away from theirs. it can be really hard at times.

But one thing you should know. If your family could know who their father "really is" they would be so proud. A man with such a special and painful nisayon, doing his best to fulfill Hashem's will. That's who you really are. The other thing may be a deeply ingrained part of you, but it is NOT your identity. This is something that i came to realize early on, and has been one of the biggest yesodos in helping me fight this.

Keep on posting, and Keep on Trucking! U CAN do it!!!

Gevura!

P.S. if you are interested, my whole story is here: http://www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=4125.0

Joey!

I'm so proud that you have held the line on actually meeting anyone. But as long as you are still
playing around on Craigslist you are dancing really close to the edge of the cliff. And the sand is crumbling.... You need to get rid of it. i strongly suggest that you contact the filter guys and have them block or blacklist it for you.

We can plan to "not get into situations", but then they sneak up on us and by the time we realize what is happening it can be too late. This time you resisted....

Sorry for the 'tough love" but i really care for you and i want to see you succeed.

And I feel so bad for that other guy, obviously he came here for help at one point but he slipped away...I daven that he should come back and save his Neshama.

I know how hard it is... Keep On Trucking!!!

Gevura!

fin der rebbe shlita:

7 ADAR THOUGHT

HAMAN WAS GLEEFUL HE COULDN’T BELIEVE HIS GOOD LUCK

THE DICE FELL ON THE WORST MONTH POSSIBLE FOR THE JEWS

ADAR

THA LAST MONTH IN THE CALENDAR

THE MONTH THAT MOISHE RABBAINU WAS NIFTAR

THIS IS GREAT

THEIR BAD LUCK

HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

THE FACT THAT MOISHE RABBAINU WAS BORN IN ADAR ,HAMMAN DIDN’T KNOE ( I KNOW IT’S SPELLED KNOW ITS MSSPELT FOR HECHERE REASONS)


WHAT CAN WE LEARN FROM THIS??

ZUGT BARDS!

IN THE WORST MOMENT

IN THE DARKEST MOMENT THAT IS WHERE THE LIGHT THE BEGINNING OF THE YESHUA

STARTS TO SHINE FROM

SO YOU FELL

SO YOU SHMELL

SO IT FEELS MORE LIKE AN ADAR THAT IS MEIS BOI MOISHE

WHO CARES!!!

KEEP ON TRUCKING

IT IS NOILAD MOSHYAN SHEL YISROEL!!

THAT VERY FALL

THAT VERY DARK MOMENT IN THE LAST PINTELLE OF DARKNES

RIGHT BEFORE WE TURN ON THE 1,000,000 CANDLE LIGHT PROJECTOR



KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPONTRUCKING!

i second the Thank You to Mr.TOGBRP!

40004 wrote on 16 Nov 2009 19:31: