Gevalig. Gevaldig!


You are a holy Jew.


Keep on trucking and we will try to follow you.

A belated huge MAZEL TOV to you!!!

Keep On Trucking מחיל אל חיל !!!!!!

Gevura!

shalom aleichim, welcome
kol hakavod on talking to your rebbe, it can be very helpful to have someone to talk to.
keep on trucking and keep on posting!
much hatzlacha
zs

NO NO you are not doomed at all I have fallen to any times too, just get up and keep on trucking.
And about the Internet I am no technician but I bet people here will have what to help. Maybe make your home page www.yiddleit.com/ that way you don't have the picture and video option straight away. You can still get to it by going to google but it will help when the picture, video button does not sit there in your face.

All the best JJ

dear happyjew,
may we all be zoche to fulfill your name, and let us say Amen!
once upon a time there was a guy on the forum. Bardichev. who has since left (sniffle, sniffle)
[s]he used to say[/s] הוא היה אומר
"She may be a problem, but she isn't my problem"
it's not my responsibility to clean up the minefields in the Falkland Islands
or to protect the whales
or to singlehandedly stop global warming
or to make sure Obama was not born in Mauritania
so too, it is not my business why Mrs. Yenta Kuchleffel is wearing whatever she is wearing

i am susceptible to the same indignation you expressed and wonder about it too at times. but it seems important for many reasons to remember the quote above. just move along. keep on trucking.
in 99% of cases there are no nefarious intentions with the way she dresses. it's just peer pressure. she does not mean to signal to any and all males with hailing distance "please come do you-know-what!"
thanks for the reminder
wishing you much success and happiness
zs

Here is something great from today's email. Guess who wrote it.


HELLO ALL HEILIGEHS AND HEILIGOS,

TODAY IS SEVEN MONTHS THAT I AM OFF THE CYCLE OF:
SHTUSS/SHMUTZ/CRY/DAVEN, SHTUSS/SHMUTZ/CRY/DAVEN
SHTUSS/SHMUTZ/CRY/DAVEN, SHTUSS/SHMUTZ/CRY/DAVEN
SHTUSS/SHMUTZ...

OK, WITHOUT ANY FANFARE AND ONE SHOT OF WOODFORD, HERE GOES:
I LEARNED 4 POWERFUL LESSONS DURING THESE HOLY 7 MONTHS.
1. SLIPPING IS NORMAL, BUT STAYING DOWN AFTER YOU SLIPPED? NEVER! GET OFF THE FLOOR, WIPE YOUSELF OFF... KEEP ON MOVING, KEEP ON TRUCKING!

2. I LEARNED THAT JOHN OR HARRY'S WIFE HAS "NOTHING' TO DO WITH ME.
END OF STORY...
NOTHING!
I DON"T CARE IF SHE IS...
OR WHAT SHE IS...
OR WHY SHE IS - OR ISN'T...
I WILL NOT SOLVE THE MIDDLE EAST CRISIS
NOR THE HEALTHCARE DEBATE.
AND I WILL NOT SOLVE THE TZNIUS ISSUE EITHER.
SHE MAY BE A PROBLEM, BUT SHE'S NOT "MY" PROBLEM
IF IT AINT YOUR RING-TONE, DON'T PICK UP THE PHONE!!
YES, TIGHT CLOTHES AND TALL BOOTS ETC WILL STILL TRIGGER ME,
BUT I DONT GO TO THE BANK OR THE MALL TO FIND THOSE TRIGGERS ANYMORE.
WE MAY HAVE CAUGHT A FIRST LOOK, BUT WE CAN CHOOSE NOT TO LOOK A SECOND TIME.
THE LUST IS STILL THERE, BUT I LOVE MYSELF AND I LOVE HASHEM AND I LOVE MY WIFE AND MY KIDS MUCH MUCH MORE THAN MY LUST.

3. THE 3RD THING I LEARNED IS JUST HOW CLOSE WE ARE TO HASHEM.HASHEM SEES US IN ALL OUR SITUATIONS, AND HE ACCEPTS ALL OUR MISTAKES AND LOVES US JUST THE SAME.THE SADDEST THING IS, THAT WE NEEDED TO FALL FIRST IN ORDER TO BE PICKED UP AND FEEL THAT LOVE!

4. AND THE LAST THING I LEARNED IS THAT THIS FORUM IS ALL ABOUT AHAVAS YISROEL!!WOW, WHAT A KOACH!!

What a roller coaster two weeks!

I had a fall last week then got back to clean and today crashed again masturbating to porn twice within 1 hour (my ... was bleeding a bit from so much rubbing!!)

I had a THaPHsic shevua which really helped and I was taking really good care of my eyes for 13 days then I had one fall and now the second (and third) like a chain reaction.
The shavua helped but it was only for one week and I couldn't get myself to renew it (if you have any ideas on how to force myself to renew it I am more than happy to hear) then I had to get K9 taken off for a short while for a good reason and I went crashing like a blind driver! (I still haven't got K9 back on and the filter gabbai isn't answering. Does anyone know if anything happened to him?)

I also have become a bit slack in reading the handbook and posting in the forum which helps me a lot!

But after all of this I am a very jolly person who always fights back and never gives in, so keep on trucking and pick up the broken pieces and start rebuilding

Love you all JJ

Hey NewStart, I'm in a similar boat as you... my BT boat departed later than yours but I've been holding steady for around 6 years. Loving Hashem and frumkite, and it's not the paradise island I thought it was going to be! I too dreamt of a world of perfection, where observant Jews do not have flaws and I could trust them full heartedly with everything. But as you noted, disappointment always comes, sometimes even from great Rabbis who have significant character flaws!

I don't have an answer for this, but just thought I'd share my disappointment in terms of what I "expected" from the religious world. I'm beginning to slowly accept that the problem lies less out there, and more within my own heart and my own ego. My expectations of "what Gcd would do for me", in a way, pushed out Gcd from my heart! Now as I read and try to absorb the lessons, I realize, I have to open my heart to the way things are, the way things have been created by, yes, H", flaws and all. So there is no Tzaddik that I can look up to who will heal me with an amulet. :-( That's okay too.

In terms of "tasting the eye candy" and morality, your point is a good one and yet useless to an extent. Yes, from a pure perspective a beautiful woman is a beautiful creation of H", there's nothing immoral with her beauty and appreciating the wondrous works of Hashem. Doesn't the Torah describe our matriarch as "beautiful" or pleasing to the eyes. And there are words in Tanach, Shir HaShirim, that really extol the beauty of a woman/women.

Indeed, Sefardim allow women to kiss the hand of a Chacham. How could that be! That is a seemingly sexual act! The Torah (according to their mesorah) seems to recognize the ability of (in that case) women to see beyond the man and purely connect to the holiness of the Chacham's knowledge. So it's not a sex act to kiss the Chacham's hand, rather, it's purely a way of honoring H".

And yet the point is "useless" because most of us (honestly) don't look at women like this, and if you consider the matter honestly, it's possible you may look at a woman with a bit of "acquisition" mindset, in terms of desiring her and wanting to plant seeds within her. If not, if you really only see Gcd through her, and have no lust whatsoever, then that is totally holy and keep on trucking! You are in the 0.000001% percentile and you might be that hidden Tzadik!

ontheedgeman wrote on 25 May 2012 01:58:

That's what I call "Recovery in six words".

I like music. Very much. It is one of my tools that keep me going.
I also like writing, and I often combine the two likes.
Last night and today, I was struck with some creativity (READ- Siyata Di Shmaya), and I wrote this.
Meir

Edit:I am using this thread for posting lyrics of songs I found inspiring and/or helpful. Sometime, I will post a new thread with a playlist of regular songs to listen to.

To the tune of "Margoa", Yosef Chaim Shwekey, Lo Lefached.

Feeling like I've lost the fight,
Seems that none feel my plight,
Trapped, for no one can know,
Still, I have nowhere to go.

Aware of how low I've sunk,
I'm left feeling dazed and drunk,
Now I'm ready to give in,
I see no way, to transcend my sin,

Now at GYE, there's a way,
I begin to glimpse the light of day,
I can keep on trucking, I am armed for my fight,
Suddenly, the future's shining bright.

The work that must be done does not phaze,
the sunlight melts away the haze,
Those around me wonder as they see a new man,
It's GYE- They taught me that I can!

Passed the 90-day-clean mark,
worked to create my ark,
Free to focus on my life,
my friends, my children and my wife.

Falls can happen at times,
and I pay the Taphsic fines,
No depression, that's the key,
And, of course, self honesty,

For now, at GYE, there's a way,
I can live in the light of day,
I will keep on trucking, I continue the fight,
Now that my future's shining bright.

The work that must be done will not phaze,
I'm no longer living in a daze,
I am filled with wonder, now I feel like a man,
For GYE taught me that I can!

The few, are not through, much to do, they reach to another...
another lost soul.
He cries, they ask why, and they try, to help him fly, together...
and help him toward his goal....

For now, at GYE, there's a way,
I can live in the light of day,
I will keep on trucking, I continue the fight,
Now that my future's shining bright.

The work that must be done will not phaze,
I'm no longer living in a daze,
I am filled with wonder, now I feel like a man,
For GYE taught me that I can!

Welcome brother!
What exactly is your "problem" that you need help with?
Share more with us, don't spare gory details, and the Truth will set you free.
And once we know your problem, we'll be able to offer specific advice, not just generic "keep on trucking, you're doing great, kudos on two months clean".
Myself, I've been married for many years, most my kids are teenagers, and I have masturbated my head off to internet porn prior to getting married as well as during the marriage.
I've not done any of that in the last 9 months or so, but it bleaks in comparison with thousands of hours spent porning and having sex with myself.
So I think it's not so much how long I stay "clean" for, as it is what I do in order to stay clean.
You can check out my story and journey here and here.
Hatzlocho.
I'd be happy to help you
Mottel

If you want more motivational posters, here are some (Draw your own pictures):
Winning means staying in the game.
Keep on Trucking!
It always gets hard before it gets better.
If the road's weighing you down press harder on gas.
All that's nice and I hope it cheers you up.
Your four days are what's real nice and they'll be with you always. But to make it stick you gotta jump into the game, and hit the ground running.
Filters are great, and reading the handbook and daily emails are nice, too. 90-day chart is a great help.
But we have to be ready for a major life-changing experience if we want this demon's gone from our lives.
Manhugs and mankisses. Get up and start running.
Mottel

The filter is not there to save you. Any fence can be climbed over if you want to badly enough. But while you're busy trying to bypass it you have a minute to think...do I REALLY want to be doing this?

And as far as the wife, as you work on refocusing the priorities in your life, she will probably eventually notice a general improvement in your attitude. If she asks you can just say you've been learning Mussar or something....

Keep On Trucking towards being a truly Happy Jew!!!

Gevura!

Interveltnik (I wouldn't call myself like that!! I would call myself maximum Gevain A'Interveltnik
I had the same problem and now I am trying to get myself out of it

Just keep on trucking and think about where can you improve and make sure to read the GYE handbook. By the way do you have a filter?

JJ

If I were me, I wouldn't worry too much about whether I had failed or succeeded. I also wouldn't build up some expectations for future nisyanos--might make some self-fulfilling prophecies.

What I would do is try to take a step back and look at what was going on leading up to the fall. Not just whether I was playing with questionable Google searches, but what was going on in life, in general. What might have been causing me stress or pain? How did I react to it? How could I react to it differently so that it won't hurt so much (or so I might even enjoy it)?

Just a few ideas,

Keep on trucking,

--Elyah