B"H the Yomim Tovim were nice by me. Although it was not as "derhoiben" (spiritually uplifting) as I would have liked them to be, but be'zrat Hashem I managed to keep on trucking by keeping up my commitment to avoid all lustful histaklus and to 'try' and avoid all lustful machshovos. Daily shiurim commitments also helped me keep busy. Daily renewal of commitment, and daily accounting, and daily talks with the Boss helped keep me afloat B"H.
The highlight of my Yom Tov was when I met a GYE chaver in person (for the first time - after extended chavrusa-shaft via phone). I'm not sure whether he wants his (GYE) name divulged, but I'll share one thing I shared with him: In the back of sefer Shaarei Teshuva by Rabeinu Yona there is a section called Yesod Hateshuva. It is only 2-3 pages long, but it contains a beautiful approach that may be helpful (for some people) in breaking this habit. For a while now, I read it every day (bl"n) carefully and follow all instructions. I find it works wonders for me. If you have no problem with mixing Mussar and recovery (as many seem to have), then maybe you ought to check it out.
And finally - I would like to share an insight that occurred to me today. I received over Yom Tov an unsolicited email where the sender has a nice sounding female name, and 'her' short message was that she is my secret admirer and she is getting very excited at the 'cool' idea of setting up a date with me...
My immediate response was to delete the email without even opening it (I read the contents in the preview pane). We all understand that the female name probably belongs to a wacko who is trying to hack my computer and/or plant some malicious virus on my PC.
But then I realized: And how about all the shmutz out there? Why do we chase it as if it were some sweet stuff, while in reality it is a wacko trying to hack your soul and plant a malicious virus in your brain?
May Hashem protect us from all evil.
Ah gezinteh vinter
MT