Welcome!!

It took me a while to realize that even with this "problem" I am still tovmeod, I am a good man, I am not evil or bad, I am just more or less sick!

Don't be a stranger, tell us more about your struggles, what you've tried, and what your plan is for the future based on what didn't work!!

and certainly Keep On Trucking!!

Yesterday, I did not fall, but I did not get up onto my feet either...

Pidaini, what's the plan? you ask.
Right now, I actually don't know.
I felt great after shul this morning.
At work, a few things went wrong, and I found myself tempted to go browsing for pretty pictures.
I have defeated that thought, but don't really know what comes next.

It's like I know exactly what's wrong and have a basic idea of how to fix things, but getting started and doing it eludes me.

I have a void that needs filling, I am a mere shadow of the action-orientated person I used to be.
Keep On Trucking are the words I hear, but my battery is flat, my tires are deflated.
I feel like I am trapped in a comfort zone, that I know will destroy me if I stay here.

A psychologist friend of mine said I need to get out of this trap - he recommended re-inventing myself, doing something new.
I started a new hobby, but now have a couple of incomplete projects that I just can't put the final pieces into place. Like a fear of completion, a fear of success.

When Yosef was in the prison, he ended up running the place.
I have created a mental prison that I do not run.

That's why I came back to GYE - get out of the isolation. Make some new friends, get the wheels turning again.

Welcome to GYE!!

Do yourself a favor, let it out!!

We're all in the same boat here, no need to hide anything!

Keep On Trucking!!

Keep up the good work! (KUTGW )



If you recognize that it's just "this area" of you that's "not awesome," why not take a step back and look at yourself as a whole? I'm an awesome person with tons of great qualities. One of my flaws is that I have a lust addiction/habit. I'm failing to see the contradiction.


I'm not sure where these statistics are from, but I'm personally unconvinced. I honestly feel extremely lucky that my situation got bad enough for me to turn to GYE. If I would never have come here, I would just continue my futile attempts to "fight" tayvah without ever recognizing what the proper tools are, and I believe that many in our community who are "doing fine" are not doing nearly as fine as they appear.

Keep on Trucking, Posting, Monster Trucking, and whatever else keeps your mind focused in the right direction!

Moish

Welcome!

We're all in this together, Keep on posting!

Make sure to see the 12 suggestions on the First Time Here page.

Also, check out your Personal Home-page. It will guide you through each tool/task that we suggest, one by one, and help you track your progress in recovery.



One ho'ora:

DesperateForChange wrote:

This is healthy remorse.

DesperateForChange wrote:

This is unhealthy shame.


The yetzer hora is a cunning foe. It wants you to feel worthless, useless, a failure. This is not true. If Hashem wanted someone perfect, He would have created you perfect. He created you exactly the way He wanted you to be, an imperfect human who is capable of making mistakes, with the potential to grow from the pain of these mistakes into a spiritual giant.

Keep on trucking. Keep on posting.

WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can see sadness, depression and despair in your post. I understand where you come from and I feel for you but you must realize that these emotions are killer. That right, if you keep feeling them you will continuously fall into a deep spiral of gloomy death. Its hard not to feel bad, but we must seek to separate ourselves from those emotions in order to live. Because really how has depression ever helped our situation? At least in my experience it has only made it worse.

Of course, immediately we won't be able to overcome these emotions, but we aren't asked to do it forever. Just for today. Just for right now.

KEEP IN THERE! KOT! KEEP ON TRUCKING!

Check out: Skep's tips

Hello everybody!

Just wanted to let you guys know that I fell after 126 days. I had no resentments fears nothing I'm doing great actually I'm in a very good mood and very happy with my life in general with everything that's going on.

But I had a first drink.

I was using an unfiltered iPad When an ad came up. One thing led to another

I thank everybody in advance for their encouraging words in the last three years here I believe I got enough encouragement to last me for 120


Just felt I should post this here as a reminder never ever take the first drink never.

I plan to keep on trucking and keep on posting if I'm around and it's great to be here and have such wonderful friends

Hi everyone, I was really busy the past couple weeks finishing summer school. Baruch Hashem, I did really well. I was trying to stay as calm as possible while doing my essays and i ended up getting really good marks.

A few days ago, i went into a scary situation for me. I was going to turn around and just give up. But i kept on trucking, i actually said to myself "I gust gotta keep on trucking" and it worked and I DID IT!!!

Everyone knows that we as, lust addicts, are selfish. We think about ME and thats it. Part of recovery is to start giving to others, which helps us shift our focus. So a few times, i try to focus on other people. For example in shul a couple times I looked around and thought of other people: their problems, what they do for our shul or community, their incredible accomplishments. It was actually awesome. I really felt good. But I have heard that if someone wants to give they should start at home and then move out from there. So I have decided to focus on my home: parents, siblings etc. I will start looking at whats needed here: help around the house, clean my room and whatever needs to be done.

But i will definitely keep focusing on other people in general. Whats bothering them? What do they need? How incredible they are?

One more thing: a few months ago i listened to a shiur by R. Wallerstein and he convinced me to delete Facebook. For me its not such a good thing to be on and i was going to delete maybe later like a few months or a year. But started the deleting process!!!!!!!!!!! (it takes 2 weeks). IT FEELS SOOO GOOD. FREEDOM! I wasted soooo much time on Facebook. Hours and hours and hours. UGH!!! Also, as i am a BT, i have a lot of friends who don't dress tzneious. And, there is a lot of immediate gratification. When you get 20 notifications or likes, it feels so good. But its so fake. Ofcourse we have some of that on GYE but whatever, at least i posting something meaningful. ANYHOW, feels good!!!

I just have to keep going step by step, calmly throughout my day. EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT AND EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I personally have not found telling people whom I feel I can't relate to to help.

Can I ask you, why don't you call up someone from the forum? A person who will be able to understand you, a person who you don't have to worry about calling when the urges hit because you know that they won't look down at you, a person who can open up to you in return (one of the biggest things by me).

You may want to start with chatting first, getting email addresses and making seeing who you feel more understood by, but I personally think that just getting the story out there, although helpful, is not a long term thing.

Keep on Trucking friend!!! Keep on Posting!!

Great posts!! Thank you!!

There is much talk here about how to view women as a person as opposed to a sex object. It is a powerful idea, an idea that I didn't need to give much thought to until I was traveling and really had to deal with women constantly. I was amazed at how just rushing through all of dms1234556789's posts about it enabled me to change my mindset so quickly when I needed it.

About the second post, I can completely relate. It was one of the most frustrating things in the beginning of this journey, after all I thought that this was going to end with me not having urges at all!! With the help of the friends here, BH, I realized that that too was another facet of my own desires of comfort, I didn't want the discomfort of having to not give in to the desires.

I still have urges and I, BH, have the tools to be able to say no. Whether they will stop coming or not is not of any relevance at the moment, and most of the time it doesn't bother me anymore!

SO keep on trucking!! it gets easier as we learn and act more!!

I hear you but we don't have to think for the rest of our life, let just think about today. Do you want to be clean right now?

Also, we can press the restart button. Today is a brand new day! "The past is gone, and the future is not in our hands." (GYE Handbook, 7)

KEEP ON TRUCKING!

WELCOME big moish!!!!!

Incredible post and i hear you about obsessing about your sister in law. I too have obsessed certain girls and we have to realize that we can be free and it could dissipate as long as we are willing to try. Look at her as a person and not as a sex object (cordnoy, I know, i know, you disagree, whatevs).

KEEP ON TRUCKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Btw what are you're plans for recovery?

Dear lostjew, your pain is palpable!! It hurts!!

The question that I have to keep asking myself in every situation is "what can I change?" and when dealing with other people, the answer is almost always....NOTHING!!!

That leaves me with a very difficult decision to make, I can either cling onto my "right" of being treated as I expected (even if it's normal, it's still my expectation) and be miserable that I'm not being treated that way, and resent the person who's treating me differently.....

But there is another option, letting go!! Letting go of the expectation, accepting that this is something that I can't change and that Hashem obviously wants me to deal with. Being that I don't always know how to deal with it though, and sometimes my emotions get in the way, I have to ask others for help, and when dealing with something as sensitive as a spouse, I may even want to look for professional help.....not to fix her, but for me to learn how to be happy with what I cannot change!!

It's not easy, and it certainly needs support, so Keep on Posting, keep on learning, and with keeping clean....

KEEP ON TRUCKING!!!

Welcome to GYE!!

Don't be a stranger, we're all in the same boat, traveling more or less the same waves, and we need each friend that we can get!!

What's the plan? How do you plan on staying clean today? How do you plan on getting past the things that you fell to in the past?

KIT bro!! KOT (Keep on Trucking)!!!

Welcome to GYE!!

I am sure this is a big step for you, as opening up is a big step in this new journey!!

Have you spoken to anyone about your struggle? Does your wife know?

There are some people that post once and disappear, stick around, there is a lot to learn and it won't come in a day. It will only come through you posting and sharing and the rest of the chevra doing the same in return.

Keep on Trucking!!! Keep on Posting!!