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25 Mar 2015 23:30

silentbattle

Re: making the silent battle...not.
Thanks - it's been a long time since someone encouraged me to keep on trucking! Thanks for the smile!
Category: Break Free
24 Mar 2015 14:07

Larry

Re: bris
Bris Olam wrote:
And if I fail Gd forbid everything really goes downhill. i.e. mental state, happiness etc.
This is something I've been through plenty myself... we all know that mz"l is a huge aveira... and so for me, and I imagine most of us here, I react emotionally with horror when I have done that, c"v. But for me anyway, I have recognized the need to learn to channel that reaction not to beating myself up - e.g. "Oh, Hashem's going to zap me now", "I'm such a rasha","I have no hope of beating this" - which is for me is a very easy thing to fall into, but extremely counterproductive... but instead, to focus on "what happened here?" and "what can I do differently next time?" (I learned this from others here on GYE)... it's a double-benefit, in that not only am I not making myself feel like cr-p (sorry for the blunt language), but I'm actually at least trying to push myself towards improvement, which b'ezras Hashem, I will realize, even if only a little bit at a time.

Like others have already said, we are here for you... you're not alone... and that if you fall, c"v, just dust yourself off, get back on your feet and Keep on Trucking (KOT).

Please G-d, you (and everyone else here) should have hatzlacha rabba.

-- Larry
Category: Introduce Yourself
11 Mar 2015 02:57

Drew

Re: Climbing out of the deep abyss
I fell today. Why? Why do we feel such despair after falling? I want to give a big shout out to skeptical, whose threads really helped boost my mood after the fall. Funny enough, the yetzer hara does tell us once we fall that all the previous effort we put it in is worthless. Well you know what, I’m proud of myself that I stayed clean for three weeks, and no one can take that that away from me! The community here really inspires me to constantly better myself, and to reinforce a positive attitude no matter what. I have to really let it sink in that this is a disease. A disease isn’t usually cured within a couple of weeks, or even months sometimes. Step by step, I’m slowly getting better. Will I fall again? I don’t know. All I know is that right now I’m clean, and I’m making a difference in my life. I just have to keep on trucking. Thanks guys for helping me through my journey. Your support really makes a dent in the Y”H’s plans. May Hashem help everyone who is struggling with this horrible, prolific disease, a long life full of sobriety and happiness.
Category: Introduce Yourself
04 Mar 2015 07:36

fighter26

Re: Climbing out of the deep abyss
hey drew welcome and happy birthday
you mentioned a hobby its really cool to find something else in life to have that keeps you busy. instruments are great cause they give you the ability to get all the emotion out. it really helps if your an emotional guy. listen im still knew so i dont know if im right but for me my hobby wasnt about finding something to do for a few min a day so ill be busy. it was about making my life more fun fulfilling or more fun etc. i know hobby dont necesarily do that but what i found is that when im involved in lust im consumed by the guilt and im always afraid about the next time i wasnt able to function and do what i wanted in life. MY LIFE WASNT GOING WERE I WANTED IT TO. i couldnt just sit and do something awesome like a hobby serenly. after being on here i realized the major role my lust was playing in my life so i decided to do what i wanted to do and do with my life what i wanted without fear or guilt thats were hobbys helped i realixed im doing something that i always wanted to do somehow for me that was much deeper and it helped me a lot more . it also it makes you much more relaxed. thats just my opinion i dont really know what im talking about. i wish you much hatzlocha im totally blown away when you said you went to sleep love you man really your an inspiration take care keep on trucking and again a really happy birthday
p.s.if its your hebrew birthday its a great time for tefillah
Category: Introduce Yourself
04 Mar 2015 05:08

newaction

Re: I just want to be clean, G-d, nothing else.
GYEmember wrote:
I had a great ma'ariv, baruch H'.


I davened with kavana.

I realize now that my biggest impediment seems to be taking it one day at a time.


GREAT START ! ! Keep On Trucking !
Category: Introduce Yourself
24 Feb 2015 18:28

newaction

Re: My Quest - The Beginning
moshe220 wrote:

But then I told myself that those negative thoughts are just the YH trying to get me negative so that I will act out again. The truth is things ARE getting better. The truth is I am feeling better and moving in the right direction. And I shouldn't let dumb, negative thoughts convince me otherwise. I might not be where I want to be, but I'm moving, I'm getting there.


I strongly believe in all of the above positive facts. Refuah shleima for your son . The thing of the car... it happens sometimes , dont get wrong conclusions out of that. I see you have an excellent outlook for the future ahead of you. Thats awesome ! You know there is a posuk that says " יתן לך כלבבך וכל עצתיך ימלא . People dont really grasp what it is written here . They think that it says that Hashem will give you your desires , what you wish . But if you are medayek on the words , it says that Hashem gives you whatever it is dwelling in your heart. What is it that you are thinking . If you are thinking in your heart , good, positive things , Hashem will give you accordingly and if C"V you are thinking the opposite then the opposite befalls to that person . So BE"H continue expecting for the good , it will pour on to you , your kids and your whole family . Keep On Trucking my friend , Hatzlacha !
Category: On the Way to 90-Days
15 Feb 2015 06:48

dd

Re: laughingman tries to count to 90........
Hi Laughingman!!!

Its not fun to fall but its great to know the guys really care and let me tell you they do.

After a fall you should thank hashem for gye which gives us hope.

About the falling even when things are getting better. I went through the same situation. things were very rough at my end a few weeks ago. And then hashem really showed me some great wonders. Did i stop falling because things were better? no way i though i would but i didn't. The lust issue has to be delt with in its own way not relying and other things going on in life. Thats the realization i came to over the past few weeks. keep it in mind and don't get too hard on yourself.

I think it might be worth checking out the last posts on this thread guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/246817-A-tragedy-of-the-human-condition they might be very helpful.

Kol Tuv and keep on trucking!!!
Category: On the Way to 90-Days
10 Feb 2015 17:37

unanumun

Re: Tryin'
Keep on trucking.
If one truck gets crashed up, there are plenty more available.

and by the way, 4000 is not the special part. It is the person that typed the 4000 (plus who knows how many more deleted ones) that is special
Category: Break Free
10 Feb 2015 00:15

newaction

Re: A tragedy of the human condition
Thanks for your share Hashiva . You wrote you dont exactly know how to get there . Its a work of a lifetime . But i can tell that slowly but surely , you ARE getting there. Keep on Trucking. The whole 12 steps could be summarized in six words : Trust G.od , Clean House ,Help Others. Behatzlacha !
Category: Introduce Yourself
31 Jan 2015 00:00

Gevura Shebyesod

Re: Divrei Torah collected by Zemiros
זכור ימות עולם...

ZemirosShabbos wrote:
לחביבות הענין ולנחיצות הדבר
הנני בזה להעתיק לשונו של האדמו"ר מהאמבעל האפפי - ברדיטשוב שליט"א

bardichev wrote on 14 Jan 2011 07:13:

Beshalach-Shabbos SHIRA tuf shin ayin alef


KEEP ON TRUCKING

By:bardichev

This dvar Torah is dedicated to my good chver Zemiros Shabbos

May he see bracha vihatazlacha in all his endeavors

The place:Somewhere near Egypt

The time:chol hamoed
Pesach

The yidden are trapped in the deset

The Egyptian Cavalry all of it and all their legions. The entire Egyptian army are bearing down on the Jews
The jews are between a rock and a hard place

The only place they can go is forward

Slight issue homo-sapians are not amphibians.

What is there to do

No retreat
No where to turn

So the Jews do what Jews always do they pray!

Gevaldiggggg??

Nisht!

Hashem says why are you screaming

??

Speak to the people and tell them to get moving

YAYISOO-ee (vayisa-uu)

KEEP ON TRUCKING!!

Fregt bards

What was wrong with prayer?

There is  a huge lesson here

Huge

When facing a personal challenge

We can't say

I tried

I cried

I prayed

No no no

Do something posotive

Drive forward

Even if it means jumping into the sea

Vayisa-uu!!

Too often I see here on the forum. People are haunted by their own demons

Leave them behind you!! Ayyy they are chasing you?! Just keep on trucking!

Of course tefilla!but like Hashem says tefilla plus action

Like the Rupshotzers kugel

The rupshizer roov reb naftali horovitz talmid of the (chozeh)Lubliner

His rebbetzin was a bit stingy but a big tzaddekes

So she made a small kugel one potato. A small onion.  She put it in the oven. Took out her tehillim and began to daven that the kugel should "gelung"

While she was davening. The rebbe. Grabbed a sack of potatoes some huge onoins a dozen eggs. A jug of oil. Salt feffer ahhh

He added his rebbetzin bite size kugel to a huge kugel for all the chassidim

The rebbetzin finishes davening

Looks into the oven and beams as she says ,
Naftali lOok my tefilla worked!

The rebbe says "yes your tefilla along with my massim tovim"




Keep on trucking


With

All

The

Love

In

The

World

H&H

bardichev

Good Shabbos
Category: BEIS HAMEDRASH
30 Jan 2015 02:37

Watson

Re: Here it goes...
Welcome, you're in the right place.

I also masturbated throughout my teenage years, swearing off again and again. I always thought that getting married would make it all better. It did not. In fact my addiction got a lot worse once I was married. Gye has helped a lot.

Keep on posting, keep on reading, keep on trucking.
Category: Introduce Yourself
22 Jan 2015 04:38

Watson

Re: yetzer hara got me
Wow, a lot of stuff here. I haven't got a huge amount of time so I'll just say one or two things:

First of all amaaaazing that you were clean for 112 days!! Well done! You should be really happy with that.

Personally I want to be sober much more than I want a nice car. You make it sound like you're doing Hashem a favour by staying sober and He should therefore reward you. From my perspective the biggest favour Hashem can do for me is to keep me sober.

You're worried the deal is off? The deal was never on! I don't imagine He signed anything or entered a verbal contract to your deal.

What should you do? Well, that's what this whole website is about. Keep on posting, keep on reading, keep on trucking!
Category: Break Free
16 Jan 2015 00:42

newaction

Re: A tragedy of the human condition
It seems that you are advancing on your journey . Praying to Hashem for His help and guidance always has results. Keep on trucking and may Hashem guide you to find your way .
Category: Introduce Yourself
12 Jan 2015 03:02

Watson

Re: A tragedy of the human condition
Hashivalisesonyishecho wrote:
If I speak to a live person I will have to chose him very carefully. It will need to be someone who won't disrespect me or lose even any teeny weeny amount of respect for me


The conversation has moved on a huge amount since I last saw it. Personally, I'm not going to tell you how to run your program. I think that everyone needs a slightly different program and Hashem leads us all along the path we need, if we let Him.

Opening up to another person is a major way to work on this area. If you do decide to share with another person of course you have to choose someone understanding and discreet, preferably someone who's been there themselves.

I find it interesting to see how much stock you put in other people's opinion of you. It was in your first post too:

Hashivalisesonyeshacho wrote:
everybody was sure I would turn out to be one of the Gedolim.


The idea that even if sharing with someone could save your life you still wouldn't do it if it meant that someone might lose "even a teeny weeny amount of respect" for you if bizarre. Why is the respect so important that you'd rather stay ill than damage it even in a small way?

I also think that this is causing a lot of the destructive shame you're experiencing. It's not just that you're unhappy with your current lifestyle, you think everyone is disappointed in you for not being the godol hador! Imagine the shame if that were really true. In your mind it is true.

But I actually think you've done very well already. You've made a great start and I think you're on the right road. Keep on trucking (KOT) and you'll get there, as long as you're prepared to follow the path Hashem shows you. My question doesn't need to be answered and it isn't me telling you that you have to do it. It's just something you might want to think about.
Category: Introduce Yourself
09 Jan 2015 11:49

belmont4175

Re: A tragedy of the human condition
Hashivah! Welcome again, come in take a seat make yourself comfortable, you are at the right place, don't worry take a deep breath, the chevrah here are special people so warm non-judgemental and so willing to help.

You have taken a great step by coming here, the courage to start posting, admitting to yourself and Hashem is your key to a beginning of recovery.

R' Ellimelech writes in צעטיל קטן סעיף יג, לספר בכ"פ לפני המורה לו דרך ואפי' לפני חבר נאמן, כל המחשבות והרהורים רעים אשר הם נגד התוה"ק ..... ולא יעלים שום דבר מחמת בושה, ונמצא ע"י סיפור הדברים .... משבר את כח היצר הרע וכו.... והוא סגולה נפלאה.

So you have something to work on, continue reading and posting, don't give up hope, it's never to late, day by day keep on trucking, be'hatzlacha.
Category: Introduce Yourself
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